Holiday

Parents are away for quite some time... I miss them...
In their absence, I felt lonely of course but thanks to my friends, I was greatly accompanied. At least laughters and some noise are audible in my house.
Time, again, flies very fast thee few days. I kept wondering when will it take a slow pace down and look around itself. But sadly I won't get a good answer.

Have you ever had this sort of feeling where your parents are in Shanghai and you are at your home...?? What would you think about it??? Fortunately, I have the answer.

When my family are away, I was the master.. Master of this sanctuary... kakaka... But to be the master, you must first be the slave and that's what I went through. I was like a washing boy... I swept the house, washed the clothes, tidy up the house, etc etc..
The start is always the dreadful one. Yeap.. I had a bad time with it due to my laziness but not long after it, I was used to it and then I became the master. I did all the chores easily without lamenting. It was just like part of me that I have to do everyday. Besides, who would do it if I don't ?? right?? Just some common sense.
About my lunch and dinners, well, that was quite some problem. My mum did give me some pocket money before they left but I was stupid enough to not know that I actually eat a lot. I top up my phone credit, paid the competition fee and the rest wasn't enough for me to handle my meals for one week. So I have to leave with those biscuits, quite nice...

Tomorrow my parents will be back. I felt quite nice as those chores won't need me to handle them again. lol!!! What I really want to do when my parents get back is to go for some real holiday. Sadly, the holiday is coming to and end. I haven't done what I am suppose to accomplish. Sigh.

Look and Hook

it's December... around 11.30pm... Later in the morning at 6am, my parents would be going to Shanghai without me. Not that they don't want to bring me there but I got a camp to attend here. They will be there for one week and I won't be home for about 4 days. So the remaining days would have me to take care of the whole house.

I feel quite lonely but I think that this is the time for me to grow up, to be more independent. I won't make a mess or cause anything to collapse. I will take good care of this remote sanctuary. KAKAKA!!!

Sometimes I did some thinking. Next year I will be form 5. Will anything change? At first stage, the idea of changing didn't startled me that much. However, after some deep thinking, I began to feel terrified. These changes in front of me aren't that simple. For instance, I will be able to drive. Now, when I was very young and very naive, driving, to me, is like a game. Every time it will start like this, " Let's rock!!" and the car will like boost up and speed around with fires aside and dragons accompanying the whole vehicle. BULLSHIT. Utter nonsense. Now that I am so close to get my licence, I don't feel cool or what ever. Yet I feel scared and as if another huge rock just laid onto my shoulder. Driving would simply means that I will take half the duty of the house onto myself. I will need to be my father's first man to help him and if anything happens, I must be there to assist. What if I fail? Yucks, hate to think like that. My brother said that by thinking like that, I make myself steps away from being a girl. I guess he is right. I must be a MAN!!!!!!
No worries! All the rest of my days!!! kakaka

Second thing, I did some long chatting with my bro last night. We usually do that over some topics about our social circle and thoughts about some incidents. It was fun but this time is totally different. We talked about girlfriend. Of course, not me!!! KAKA!! My brother instead, the master of soloisme (don't know how to spell). He needs one. He doesn't need any more stupid ideals which would stop him from getting a girl. One of them would be like him thinking that he is untouchable and unacceptable by girls. Knock it off!!! Time for some change. Time to discuss which one to look and hook. Keke.. The whole discussion, though we didn't reach any conclusion or solution, was pretty nice! The feeling was fresh and new. I just like it.. Wish I could describe the feeling more...

So, each of us, including you there reading my blog, will grow a year older next year. In other words, we are one more step closer to our graves.. I like to think that way... Growing up is an opportunity and privilege for us to be someone different in all aspects. Appreciate it, open up yourself to the new surroundings and settings and one day, you will be dominating it.. Good luck!

Holiday here....
However the mood isn't there...
Today is Tuesday, got accounts tuition later...
This Thursday I am going out to Penang with friends...
I am sure it'd be really nice...
Many of them wanted to watch 2012...
Well, I have watched it and guess what I think about the show?
Here it is...
If the day of judgement is here...
Ain't no three big arks would save anything...
Don't you think so?
Or you think that I am just saying some shit here?
Well, if you really want to know something like 2012...
I suggest you refer to the Bible...
For all those adventure things...
It's another bullshit only kids would buy...
What do you think?!
The whole world collapsing is some sort of Spiderman show?
Come on!!!
For some "heroic" guys...
After watching that show..
Don't even think about saving your girlfriend when it really comes...



As for the coming December, what will be in stored for me?
Seriously hope that I will make full use of the time...
Not sleeping till 12pm like I did this morning...
You know the funny thing about waking up late...
Is that you still feel sleepy after waking up...
So I guess sleeping too long would make you sleepy.... FUNNY...

Studies, books, music...
During these few weeks...
Sports had definitely ran out of my life...
Due to rain, habit, lazy...
Bla bla bla...
But something told me that it's time to let go of it...
This Saturday...
There is this SUKPEN Ping Pong competition...
All right, I won't say that I am a good player...
But basically I am qualified to go and compete there..
However, my so called "coach"...
Didn't even say anything about it...
So, I won't be going...
Funny?
It's normal...
Sports in Malaysia...
Only for a healthy body...
Won't be any long term investment...


That's it....
Stay tuned....

Salutation!!!!

I had bola baling competition this morning. It was great, though my team got the third. I tried my best and sometimes, it's ain't enough.
What I want to share here is my respect for my coach, Cikgu Azam. He is a young guy,teaching and coaching as well. When I first entered the team, he was very warm but I just played my own stuffs as I ain't that close with him. However, the situation changed yesterday. Since I am having a competition tomorrow, I will need a pair of football shoes ( don't what's that called ). Well, I don't really play football, as a matter of fact, I don't play at all. So why must I have a football shoes? But here's the problem, without the shoe, I can't play. I asked for my Malay friends but none of them have extra shoes. Trouble..

At that time, my coach saw it. He stood there in silence for a while and walked to me, saying :" Lucas, kalau tak ada, tak apa. Nanti petang kamu pergi beli satu dan mai klaim dengan cikgu, ok?" I was like stunned. Wow... that's nice... I can't believe my ears.. " OK, cikgu!" I said that with gratitude. Thanks a lot. He really did solve the probelm there and then.

Now, it's not the end yet. After my tuition at 6.30pm, I went to N.T sports to purchase my shoe. Before that, I called my coach that I will be buying there. He said fine and I went there straight.

I reached there, shocked again. He was there, waiting for me. wow.. I gave him a smile and walked inside the shop. The shop keeper asked what shoe I want and of course, I looked at coach for the answer. He sat there and said, :" RM70 lah."
Again, I was stunned. He is willing to buy a pair of shoes for me for free?! This is unbelievable.

I opted for the best I can have with him paying the money. Then, he told me that, this shoe will be for me until next year. After that, he will keep it for the team, for any players who need a shoe. That sounds good to me as I won't need a football shoe at all. And then my curiosity got the better of me. I asked:" Cikgu tak klaim dengan skolah ke?"
" Tak lah, cikgu beli untuk team lah." He answered.
All right, this is just marvellous. He bought two pairs, which cost RM140, for the team without even thinking of getting his money back. I have played ping pong and basketball and never met a coach as generous and kind as this one. It's just awesome.

Immediately, I salute to him deep inside my heart. I respect him for his dedication for the team and mind you, I don't respect teachers in my school easily ^^...

Choices

Nothing in particular to post lately. It's just that my exam is over. However, the idea of having SPM next year really detracted from the pleasure of having the exams behind me... The feeling is that I didn't do well this exam, so, what if this is SPM? It sounds strange but, indeed, it's scaring me.

After the exam I didn't feel happy as I should. I felt more like a guy standing in the middle of the sea. The horizon has no limit, the sky has no limit. It's not freedom though, as I said the idea of SPM always haunted me. But the difference between the time before exam and after exam, is that I have the feeling that I got many choice to make. I can do anything but whether it's worth it, it's up to me to decide. Of course, it have been like this since a long time but somehow I just didn't realise until now.. akakakaka.. And so here they are, many choice in my mind to make. Even tonight, whether or not to post this is one of the choices.

For morning, I can choose whether to go to school or stay at home. Well, this already made a dozen of choice for me to opt. If I go to school, I can be with my friends and I would feel nice and happy but I will definitely be wasting my time; if I stay at home, most probably I will wake up around 9.30am, then laze around, or do some homework. It doesn't much interesting but it's worth it. HAHA! And here I am standing in the middle of a cross-road: enjoyment or the other one? kekeke.. choices

For afternoon, I can either stay at home, do some reading and play some games or go outside to have a game of basketball. Staying home would be much worth it as I get to finish my story books and have a nice time with myself; going outside won't ensure that I will definitely have excitement. I might have a good game or the other way. I might also meet some new friends or enemies. hahaha.. And so here it is... Choices to make.. Which one?

I won't dare to say more about the night ( lazy ^_^ ). I have to figure out something so that I can choose what's right and good for me. I am very sure that if I can make wise choices, next year's SPM would not be a problem. But what if I fail? jeezzz....

warm in the process of cold

This week is packed with examssssssssss.... Personally, I don't really have any expectations for this exam as I didn't really prepare much and much of my preparations are last minute ones. However, I take this exam as a driving force to push me to study because without an exam, honestly, I won't study that hard. And so I studied almost every night during the week. It was indeed boring but sometimes when I get indulge in it, the feeling is really remarkable. You will feel like you are enjoying something beneficial and good to you. That kind of feeling compared with the feeling after a victorious computer game is completely different. But sadly my nose problem always disturb me and put an end to my enjoyment.

In school, usually, time walks in a slow pace with us as the victims but now, it runs, flies. After finishing a paper, checking it over again, all you have to do is to sleep and the time will just slip past without alerting you. It's a shame that we aren't allowed to bring any books in it if not the time could be spent in a much better way than sleeping ^^.

Last Monday, which is just yesterday, I went to the Josephine's Anniversary Concert. I had a great time there, met some new friends and some pretty girls. kakaka.. too bad I didn't bring my camera. I played the piano, violin and did some singing. It was indeed a fun but I felt strange to enjoy so much when the exam is only tomorrow. A slight remorse was there in me..

Now going to school is different. It has become a compulsory thing that I have to do on a daily basis. The days are cold lately, I guess that's the main reason my nose is aching. Not only the weather but also the atmosphere in my school. I don't know, again, why but everyone is just giving me a cold shoulder. Some might act to be warm but I know well that I am irritating to them. Maybe I am wrong, not everyone. In the process of this “isolation” towards me, I discovered some true friends. I like them and I can get along with them very well. They are much better than those whom I spent my time with. Those whom I thought that are true friends always let me down. They accused me for something I didn't do and bla bla bla la.. I don't care AT ALL la but what I am trying to say here is that I got myself some nice friends and I will try everything I can to appreciate them. Thank God for them... Friendship forever ^^

As a student....

Yayayayayayayayay~~

Exam tomorrow, sick today.
Exam tomorrow, basketball today..
Exam tomorrow, lazy today...

What's up with that??!!
I used to be someone who can study damn hard but now, oh my, something has gone out of me... sigh.. How to get it back...

I got a concert to preform next Sunday. Sad... So busy... and lazy..

What to do? I am a student.. lamentating..

云上太阳

You see now, in school, I expected it to be peaceful but it wasn't like that. Well, fine. No matter with me. Now that people are talking peculiar stuffs about me, no problem. But somehow, I always have the curiosity in me to dig out the truth. Sad. It can't be stop. After some meditation (^_^), I found out the main reason: what they said were totally bullshit. But it still didn't take off the question mark in my head, instead, it added some exclamation mark in it.
Here's an example. One of my used-to-be best friend, now hates me a lot, her/his computer spoiled. Common thing to happen, isn't it? All right, I guess this doesn't have anything to do with me but there is still a link which I neglected. It was rumoured that I hacked his/her computer... What do we have to say here? To my friends who are reading, if you have anything to say about this, please tell me if not I will stay numb forever. Okay! So this is how things work in my school, everything is about me, everything bad. WOW! I kinda love it. hahahahaaha...
All right, so it's like that. You got the picture now, just hope that you can see mine.
But I told myself, I know you hate me, I am disgusting, I sucks, I am irritating, I control you a lot, I am big fat jerk but... but... after and before saying these, the Sun is still up there, above the clouds, looking down at us like ants. HAHA! That's it! The Sun!!!! It's still there!

So, what the heck?

Saturday

yesterday, Saturday, I got up early and with high difficulties as I slept quite late the other night before. Thomas was with me that night. So, my mum came holding the alarm clock into my room... I hated that sound "ring ring ring ring"... shit.. but still, I got up and get dressed. Packed some shirts then we got up Innova and went to the church for the gathering.
When we reached there, some friends and I helped to take all those stuffs on the small lorry. Then, we made a prayer to hope for protection for the whole trip. Later on, Thomas and I sat on the lorry and we headed to Sungai Petani, the day began.

The journey was short because we talked a lot... NBA, DOTA, friends and lots more.. so time flew without hesitation. We reached there, saw all the children. Most of them were Indians. They looked at us with a kind a amazement, don't know why but that was the feeling I got. After hearing some brief history of that orphanage centre, we started giving them biscuits, fruits, soups and stuffs la.. Then, we sang songs to them. It was nice because among us there were quite a number of new believers and it's nice to see them singing with their heart. I was playing the guitar with Brandon. OK, the song presentation was fine. Then we started talking to them. Too bad I didn't take my camera there, if not there would be loads of pictures. Talking about pictures, photograph, those children were like very surprise to see pictures. They liked to take picture and every time we took one, they will come happily and see the pictures. Funny. hahahaah.. We had a great time there, listening to the background stories of the children. Pity them... Some of them deserved a better life and yet bad things kept happening to them. How I wished I could have done more for them... After about 3 hours, we set off for lunch at Tesco. The food there was bearable but extremely expensive. What the hack, I won't come here again as far as I am concern. I went into the toilet to change my shirt for the waterfall later and I discovered something rather bullshit. The toilet, as usual, has two section, one is for female and male. All right, that's very normal but in the male section, there's another two different room, one is for Muslim and another is for non-Muslim. That's lame. Very lame. Why? Are they that special? Their urine is what, golden? They didn't wear underwear? Totally ridiculous, preposterous! Can't believe they would do something like that. Suak.. I can't do anything either.

Then, we took a long journey, though I was sleeping on Yee Shuen's shoulder, to Karangan. It's a name of the waterfall, rather peculiar though. All right, we reached there... I wanted to be nice time but.. frogs ruined it all. FROGS!!!! and mind you, they were DAMN big in size. Shit!!!! I hate frogs!!! So many of them all around the shore, stones.. Oh my.. GELI!!! So, instead of enjoying the natural scene, we spent most of our time chasing the frogs away.. =.="".. sad case.. hahahah. but that was how our time flew by with much enjoyment.

At about 6.30pm, we leaved for Sunway Carnival.. Well, everything was normal there. I got myself a book entitled Eragon. Loved it.. hahahaha... We head dinner there... and.. after some time of fellowship, we went back.

A nice day I would say. I enjoyed myself and also did something meaningful. What I got was to appreciate things around me.. yeah.. it sounded simple but it's vital... ^^

Moon

I gazed into the sky where the moon was hanging high. Bright rays shooting out from it, enlighten the streets across my house which were once dark and ghastly. The air was cold and comfortable. It will easily trap anyone in indulgence and nostalgia, thinking over the past.

There and then, I thought, what'd be the feeling if I can just walk side by side with my girlfriend along this road together with all these romantic scene? How's the feeling? If I really like that girl, I am sure that the feeling would be nice...
But now is not the time.. I would rather walk with my dog or my friends than the girl I liked, it would just attract too much attention and unnecessary worries which I might not be able to handle.
Yet, the feeling was still there... How nice to walk with the girl I like, holding her hand, maybe in silence or talking to each other... How nice...

Friends

On Friday night, everything started. Fist, I went to school... And err.. these are the few pictures that I got that night

These are my classmates... Happy to know them

You see that one using the cup covering her face? that's a funny one

Very old friends

Thomas and Chia Liang

I guess they have nothing much to do there

I started my presentation

Too busy to look at the camera.. hahahahahah ^^

Teachers and friends

Teachers children

Yineng and Yik Xiang

I had a great time there, even though the time was short. That night, I thought of something important. My time here is going to an end. Looking at al my friends, I felt sad because I have to leave them.. haiz... What to do?

Old friends like Shu Jiun, Suan Kai and Pay Chyi, I am going to miss them very much. I am pretty sure that it's hard to find friends like these in college or university.

Yoke Pei, Xin Kai, Siew Fen, Hui Mei, Teh and maybe more are also very close friends to me. Too bad I only knew them this year even though I have been together with them since Form 1... sad thing to realise.

So, I think that this song is really perfect to show my feelings towards my friends

这些年 一个人 风也过 雨也走 有过泪 有过错 还记得坚持甚麽 真爱过 才会懂 会寂寞 会回首 终有梦 终有你 在心中 朋友 一生一起走 那些日子 不再有 一句话 一辈子 一生情 一杯酒 朋友 不曾孤单过 一声朋友 你会懂 还有伤 还有痛 还要走 还有我

朋友 一生一起走 那些日子 不再有 一句话 一辈子 一生情 一杯酒 朋友 不曾孤单过 一声朋友 你会懂 还有伤 还有痛 还要走 还有我

I am very sure that you all know this is a song but this is no ordinary song. Please appreciate your friends with you now especially those who are still below 18 years old. Home town friends are hard to come by, appreciate every single second you have with them

____________________________________________________________________

Okay, after that school thing, I went straight to KFC to put up another presentation. Here it is.

First time playing the violin on stage

Looking good~

How do we look?

^.^

So, these are the pictures. I just simply hope that I will have another chance to perform on the stage again ^^

Practise

Today is Thursday. By tomorrow night, I will be presenting at to different places. The first one is my school. Well, this presentation in my school, I didn't want it actually. But, something told me that it's time to show everybody who I really am apart from a loser and a freak. Besides, I just want to have some great time with one of friend who also loves music as much as I do and also to help her as she is the President of the Chinese Language Society. Oh yeah! That presentation is organised by my school's Chinese Language Society. So, I am going to play the piano there and the girl will sing. Just hope that everything will turn out nice and need. Let's pray.. ^^

And the second is big. The second one is right after my school's presentation which is at 7.30pm. This presentation is at 8.30pm. wow.. You can see the rush but I am sure that it is worth it. Now, this presentation is organised in front of Nibong Tebal's KFC by Tan Beng Huat. So, there would be many people and the most shocking one is that Lim Guan Eng is coming. Oh my!!! Scary.. What if something goes wrong? Oh my.. Must be more confident.. huhuhuhuhuhu~~~~

So, tonight I practised a lot.. For both of the presentations.. From 4.30pm till 10pm... tiring.. really tiring.. And the worst is that it is tired mentally!! That's worst part... I just seriously hope that all these practises will pay off..

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!

Explanation

Things happen in this mysterious world, either good or bad, happy or heart breaking. However, I think that every of them has their own explaination, unless it's the making of God or known as act of God.. In that situation, nothing can explain.

Yesterday, something very sad happened. I tried to make an explanation to one of my friend but things just didn't turn our the way I wanted it to turn out. Three attempts but none of them succeed. The worst one was when I was behind her and I was so ready to go in front and bla out all I needed to say. But, again, she ran away. Maybe she noticed me behind or it's because of the rain, I don't know. What I know is that I failed.
Looking at her back, her nice pony tail, I just kept wondering, why my explanation can't reach her? But honestly, I ain't sure that whether she would trust me even though I told her everything. If that's the case, why wouldn't she listen? It's just an explanation... It'd be good to listen, wouldn't it?

From this, I would like to remind anyone that is reading my post, that explanations are worth listening especially true ones. If you don't listen, you might lose a lot. Never think that you are smart and you can predict what is going to happen. Spend about 2 to 5 minutes listening might be able to solve many of your problems...

Explanation ...

Nothing much

Holiday now. One week. Nothing much in my head, just the usual routine like studies, household chores, game, books... Can't play basketball during this holiday as the rim of the court near my house was broken, by who, don't know. LAME -.-'''

Father gone to Ipoh for three days, brother went back to Penang... So it's just me again with my mum and my young bro.. I do not know why but this year is passing through like a wind. Sometimes I　am just shocked by the way time flies without looking back. If it continues it's pace like that, I will face SPM in a very short time... Frightening.... However, I know well that by knowing it is useless, what I must do is to act, be more diligent. Yeah.. but.. again.. such things are easier said than done.. hahahahah!!

I guess that's all I can say for today. Not much stories to share with you all...

Help

Life's going better now.
I solved some of my friend's problem.... Felt happy and nothing at the same time. I've been used to it, if you are not used to it, never help a friend, or you can say, Chinese friend. KAKAKAKAKA... sad to say that but a fact is always a fact.
However, my own problem, there seem to be no one willing to help, maybe just listen but action would never be taken. I see this as part of my failure. I am able to help others yet, I can't even handle my own problem. AS a matter of fact, I can't even handle my problem, thus, I shouldn't help others... Yucks... Complicated again... lame..
I did try to put this problem behind me but, well, honestly, I can't do it... Too bad this blog isn't enough for me to express my feelings towards this matter...

But I like how it is now.. At class, I gained new friends and lost some at the same time... Never mind~ On the court, there are more and more friends of mine willing to play basketball. Nice.. Great... In the church, I got myself a new friend even though I have known him since I was 11 years old. This particular friend, I will help him, even though I can't handle my problems but I will help him no matter what. Just hope that I am up to it...

Awesome day^^

Well, for quite some time, maybe about 7 months, I am like having lots of problem to socialise with these "aliens" in my class thus causing me to feel very "sien". Now I think about it, I kind of like segregates myself.. honestly, I admit that it was my fault.
Even though the situation is like that, I ain't stupid enough to just sit around and let things around me to torment me.. NO! I ain't that kind of person who sits and do nothing when something is causing me to feel uneasy. So, I got to know this Xin Kai. If you did follow my other posts, you can see that this guy has been quite good with me and I appreciate his presence a LOT. But still, I think that the class's condition is dry and icy.
Things maintain the way they were till today. Well, for your information, Xin Kai had some problem with the girl he likes and he was asking for my help. Definitely, I helped him and it worked out.. He felt happy and I felt great too. Through this whole process I realise that hey, this guy actually gain my care so much... I couldn't believe it myself and of course I accept this fact rather happily. The best thing is, while I was solving this problem, I have a deep conversation with two girls in my class. All right, these two girls, seriously, I don't really care about them at all, AT ALL. What they do I didn't care that much, what they think didn't even pass through my mind.. In short, I don't care about them that much. But after that conversation which was mend to help Xin Kai, turned out to be helping me myself. I didn't know why, through that, I got to know a lot about them and for the first time in my life, they were listening to me attentatively. I couldn't believe it, their expressions were like, wow, can't believe this guy could talk so much. Wakakakaka.. So, after that, I did solve his problem and at the same time, I got myself two new friends... and... they are both female.. kekekekekez.... GREAT!!!!

After this, I kind of think that actually these people in my class, they ain't that weird, maybe not all of them... Even though lately I can feel that some used-to-be-friends are like shedding of from me, there are other much better people around me.. hehehe.. great feeling...

Sick

Being bedridden for about three days is like totally sick... hate the feeling and yet, there's nothing you could do about it... lie on the bed, suffering, being tormented by something untouchable... disgusting.

Everything is spinning, even myself... what can I do?

Thanks

so, life proceeds on with nothing to look forward to.. except for non-stop studying... >.<
As my brother is spending almost the whole week there in Penang, preparing for his exam which will determines his fate in the future, I spend my time in N.T almost alone everyday. Well, it's not to say that I am segregate myself or keep myself in solitude, no!! And, usually when my parents are busy, I spend my time with my younger brother, Marcus who is only 11 years old. The age gap between me and him had arose many problems especially communication problem. So, honestly but guiltily, I seldom finish up my own things and only peep at him to ensure that he is save.. That's all. Apart from that, I find it hard to interact with him much. (Fine.. I will try and get things better. )Therefore, my time is usually spent with my friends, best one of course like Zhen Kai, Yineng and Elin. I once had an idea of adding maybe one or two girls into my social circle. I did try although I admit that my ways are sometimes wrong but I am sure that my sincerity is genuine. And so I tried. After countless attempts and obstacles, I failed. Well, upon hearing or facing failure, one might feel sad or dissapointted but somehow, I didn't feel so. I am quite glad I failed. HAHA.. funny right? well, let me share this little secret with you. After my failure, I realised that, even though they ain't any but only one girl at my side, what's the matter?! I don't care!! hahahaha!! that's what I felt, I don't care!! Even though people around me often say that I am proud, arrogant, controlling people, take friends as dogs, what do I even care?!! As long as I feel happy with these three nice friends, I don't care! I am who I am! By the way, the fact that I have three buddies with me is enough to prove them wrong.. yaya!! hahahah!! WRONG! BUSTED!!

I also want to thank God for blessing me with such nice and good friends. They help me, comfort me and brought a lot of colours into my life. Thanks pals... I hope that Zhen Kai ( or you may call him Ong, Star, Howard, Kosmos... lol!) can read this.. I appreciate every one of you guys... Hope our friendship can last as long as we live.. HAHA

Friends

Life seems to be so quiet and peaceful just like the weather here, so comfortble as the rain falls almost every day at twilight which is just enough to put the ground to a nice temper.

It has miserably became my daily routine to wake up at the same time every morning, 6.30am which would torment me almost everyday. And so I was tormented this morning but I won the ghost in me. I went to school and saw my friend Xin Kai there.
Class went on as usual with the teacher singing infront but today I didn't feel so sleepy as the weather was cold and very comfortable. I didn't even sweat, which was a miracle for me as I sweat a lot. The scenery outside my class was looking sad. The sky was grey instead of blue. It's as though it was going to cry while we are so happy. I found myself indulged at the outside view until I felt someone called my name. "Lucas", I came back to reality and looked to source of the sound. Oh, it was Xin Kai. “Yeah? Wassup?"， I asked him. He frowned, looking despair and some what dissapointed. I was definitely sure that he got something to tell me. " Come on, wassup?" I asked again, sounding more gentle now.
And that is what I heard.
"Why she doesn't care about me? Why must she deny my existence? Am I that bad? The only thing is just that I like her, nothing more！Why must she act like that?", he asked with a some anger in his tone.
Upon hearing this, I felt concern for him as well as a feeling of sympathy. I smiled kindly like I never smile before to him, patted him on his back and signed together with him. I seriously was numb with his question even though I knew how to answer him and I was definitely sure that I could put a smile on his countenance. At the mean time, same feeling possesed my mind in a different angle. Why are girls like that? Like my brother said, if a girl likes you, no matter how a scumbag you are, you will always be the appple of her eye; but, if a girl has no feelings for you, no matter how angle-like you are, they won't mind to care about you or even your existence. From no where, a thought came into my mind, girls and boys could never be together in a close bond unless through marriage or a very strong friendship which is extremely rare to find. However, if a boy or a girl force his or herself to befriend the oppopsite sex, they would probably lost their friends who are the same sex as they are. Simply speaking, if a boy force himself to get along with girls and succeed it, he would mostly lost his "boys" friend. This could be seen through "pondan". Wow, you would be astonished how they, as males, get along with cold-blooded girls so well but they are not warmly welcomed in the mist of guys, same thing goes for girls. So guys, what do you think with my thought? Of course, this is just a general speaking, there might be exceptions.

After feeling satisfied with my thoughts, I looked at Xin Kai again, smiled and said :"Well, if you don't mind, you still have me on your side." Instantly, he smiled and got back to his work. I felt happy for him. Afterall, he is the only friend I got in this barmy class.

I looked at my timetable, gosh, doubld Chinese today. Well, i don't really look forward to it. I sat there and wait for Pn. Tan to come with Yineng at my side, talking craps^^. Everything got even more lame when she wanted us to do some kind of activity by knowing our own troubles in life, as if we are going to tell her all >.<... Fine! I took out a papper and wrote there, have to wake up at 6.30am in the morning, terrible. That's all I wrote. Then, I sat there talking about DOTA with Yineng and Teh.

After some what an hour, she took a paper and read it out loud :" Nowadays, true friends are so hard to find, what should I do?" Well, that was another students problem. I gave a slight smile which was unnoticeable and continued my conversation.

" Finding a friend depends on fate, if you have any fate with any people, you won't have one but that is not suppose to happen."

I heard that and quickly look up. Surprisingly, everyone was aggreeing to this statement. I can't believe this. And then, someone called my name to give some opinion on this matter and so I said :"If you all depend solely on fate, in that case, you won't have a friend for a millenium. What's worst, you would take "no fate" as an excuse which would cause you to lose your friends." Well, I have best friends in life, damn good they are and so I was sure what I said was true, but, it was denied. Pn. Tan said that fate no doubt plays an important role in friendship. I frowned slightly and returned to my conversation. Pn. Tan also said that during our secondary lifes, we will have true friend at that stage. We would also have new true friends when we enter into university or college. What nonsense, I said this in my heart. But, Yineng beside me couldn't control. He shouted out :" OH! That's why girls they all are exploiting each other and couldn't find true friends as bare in mind they know that they would have new friend in the future. That's it?"
Good say, I told him. But they all didn't care. Sigh... I won't mind to tell them how wrong they are about friends as none of them really appreciate FRIEND.

I have my own ways and opinion about friends which I think is good as I indeed have 3 true friends beside me. People nowadays are selfish and self-centered. They know nothing about friend. To them, their studies, they success are the most important, human realationship is depends on fate. LEMA! I certainly have many opinions about such thinking as I am in the midst of people who possess such thoughts.

I just want to say here, friends are next to family which is nex to God. Appreciate your one and only true friend.

A lost of a friend

I envy people who are always busy surfing the net, especialy my brother. Sometimes, I wonder, what are they doing? The best part is that they chat more than surf. Wow... So much to chat. haha.. From a another angel, you can see that these people are very sociable and have many friends, MANY.

For me, ever since a lost of a deerest friend, everytime I go online, there won't be anyone in particular to chat with me. It's as though I didn't have an account... sad thing to know.. Even my blog, if you had noticed, usually after a new post, there would be comments from a particular friend, well, in this case I won't mention the name. No matter how strange the comments were, no matter how funny they were, I always appreciated every one of them. Looking back at those old posts, I felt quite sad... Well, it's obvious that now, my posts, seldom got any visitors or to say comments. I am not saying that I am down because people don't care about me. NO! I am trying to say that that particular friend of mine, didn't bother even to have a single glance at my blog, what more leaving a comment. Well, I just have to accept it without realising the cause.
What's worst, that used-to-be friend of mine, deleted my link from his/her blog. Wow... That's.. you know, that's just like someone shotting you right in the heart. Seriously, well, if that friend of mine so happen come across my blog and mind to take a look, I would like to say that I do not know a single clue to this mystery. Why would all these happen? He/She choose not to speak to me, that means, not telling me anything.. including answering my questions.
So you see, life is really quiet now, especially on the net. My brother did intruduce Facebook to me but somehow, I didn't have the interest, I do not know why.
What I can do now is to solemly hope that this friend of mine would read this post and maybe, open the lock in my mind which is there for about 2 months, I guess...

postive peace? or negative one? ><

For the past few weeks, life have been quiet and normal. I guess I have reached my goal, to have a peaceful life without any unnecessary worries which would only be a hindrance rather than a help. Due to this peaceful life, there's nothing much to blog.. Feel quite sad about it though. My life now only consist of God, music, studies, ping pong and some minor part like Dota, animation, basketball... So, no more conflicts, no more question marks for me to crack my mind. Is it good?

My Immortal

My Immortal lyrics
Songwriters: Lucas Teoh... ^^xD

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

When?

Today, school was just as usual, nothing special or interesting but the little difference is that now I am starting to know what the teacher is talking about infront.

It was Wednesday, so after our class we would have some time for those meetings and stuffs la... Boring one, honestly.

Well, if you did follow my blog, you would have read that I've been very quiet in class nowadays, and it had been about 3 weeks that I didn't leave my classroom for no particular reasons (ponteng).. So, everything infront of me in school just passed without me giving a damn. But, the only thing I care about is one of my friend.

Usually, before that three weeks, Wednesday after classes would be a time when the both of us get together and have some chat, that was the time I liked the most. However, after an incident, we didn't talk anymore, didn't even see each other. That sudden, dramatic change really put a shock into me. Try to imagine someone who talks to you almost eveyday, be it in school or online, suddenly don't care about your existence, what you think? How feel you? Sad? Dissapointed? You name it! All those adjectives that are suitable t describe such situation, throw it out and you will find them in me.

So, today, I was with my friends, reading my story book and as if nothing is infront of me. When I was entering my class, which was supposed to have some sort of activities, I saw her. I saw her four floors below me, the one whom I could talk to, the one who told me a lot about herself.... And yet, now, all I can do is stand there and look at her, alone. She is that kind of quiet type, so, if you don't approach her, she won't care to approach you. hahaha.. xD... Therefore, she was all by herself, alone in solitude. I was sad, sad to see that now she is alone and no one was there to accompany her, or, you can say that no one cares about her. No one knows the beauty inside her, the friendly smile inside her, that kind of innocent thoughts and maybe fallcies inside her... No one knows, no one wants to know.. What can I do? I can't just walk straight into my class and take it as if nothing happened... She was alone.. haiz... When can we talk to each other again.. When.. When....

^^

I won in the double.. Got the champion... That means, I won the first double in Mutiara Impian, and this couple is made up of one state player and one district player.. but me, nothing but an ordinary player, won them. The face of that state player.. hahahahahaha.. so pathetic.. but, I still win.. nothing can change that.. Great.. GREAT!!!! WON MUTIARA IMPIAN!!!! STATE PLAYER? SO WHAT??!! GOD IS ON MY SIDE!!!! HALLELUYAH!!!

Round orange thing

These three days, continuosly, are filled with this round, orange thing which name is ping pong. Tired, but the heart for it increases.

This round thing sticked with me for these three days and I guess it will always be there with me whenever I go, how long I go... forever...

Hard and tough

I just finished my mid year exam. That was also my fist exam with official SPM format. Honestly, it's quite tough but not that kind of "very" tough that was described by my seniors. The main key to achieve the goal is the study. That's all. Study. However, althought it's so easy to spell and read, I can't do it. It doesn't mean that I did nothing for my exam, of course I did something but that wasn't enough. I know it's just not enough. I was lazy and not hardworking. I can be better. I know myself that many factors had brought this laziness to me.

For example:
1) Dota.. This is a damn one.. got addicted to it before the exam.. DAMN!!!!
2) Self confidence. I thought it was easy at the beginning but things just turned out to be different from what I thought. =.=
3) Won't want to sit down and read for a long period. I got boring easily and tend to walk around or go online while I am studing... bad bad bad..

All these above really caused a lot.. Didn't do well in the exam..

For example:
English 77
B.M 72
B.c 72
Add Math 78
Sejarah 78
Chemi 63... this is lame.. =.=

So, I am definitely sure that I can do better than this.. I can!!! Sure I can.. So, from now on, I am gonna study so damn hard to get a damn good results in the final year exam.. oh yes I will!!! watch me!! well, if I fail to do it again, I think I can be the professor of lameology instead of my brother who did well in his exam.. hahahahaha...

So, fight on, Lucas!!!!

Back to school

After a two-week long holiday, I went back to school today, feeling bored...
As usual, I got to wake up early.. damn early.. 6.30am... wash up.. bla bla bla.. and arrived at school. During the assembly, one of the teachers stated the differences that have occured in our school. For example, some trees were cut down, yet they think that it's good.. =.=.. The walls have been painted with a new colour, some new chairs and tables are available for students's usage and the new hall is in progress. So, he stated that we should appreciate it...

However, my opinion is that, yes indeed our school changed a lot PHYSICALLY which means only the look but the contents are still the same, consists of lazy and irresponsible lame teachers.. so, no matter how much we change, the walls, tables, chairs and stuffs, it's still the same.

However, for myself, my time in school really did change. For once, I sat in my class and in my particular sit for the whole day. WOW.. unbelieveale but yes I managed to overcome my habbit of walking around.. YES! hahahaha.. but, it's boring especially when teachers were like singing a lame song infront and I was forced to listen.. Thank God I wasn't forced to give comments. hehe..

And also, the time in school has been very quiet even though my class was disgustingly noisy, for me, it's just me and my book.. Maybe sometimes Xin Kai, one of my friend would pop into the picture but not for long.. pity him..

I kinda like the way I am now and.. I hope to continue this... At the same time changing some bad and wrong preceptions towards me.. I hope so...

Basketball

Well, if you are a fan of basketball, you must know this particular guy.
He's good, cool, strong and handsome. I just like this guy. Take a look at him







He's Kobe Bryant!
Get all these actions and cool stuffs in www.nba.com!

这样也好

当我发现温柔不再映在你的眼里
握你的手传来的却只是一丝丝寒意
我所有的努力你说只会带来压力
我才发现这段友情你早已放弃
这样也好让我自己好好看清自己
这样也好让我自己重新整理
再来的日子 我不再有你

没想到我们的友情这么的短
我以为所有不完美的友情
不会发生在我们身上我错了
我小心翼翼讨你欢心对你死心蹋地
这个世上还有谁能够比我还信你
我所有的努力现在已经没有意义
爱得太急没想到失去你这么容易
这样也好让我自己好好看清自己
爱的路上并不是每个人都甜甜蜜蜜
这样也好让我自己重新整理
再来的日子我不再有你
再来的日子教我怎么能够把你忘记
我的真心真意你的毫不在意 海誓山盟
只剩下我还真的放在心里

Everyone has friends, so do I but sometimes sad things happen to break off this friendship.. This is a song... I editted a little bit, from love to friendship and I find out it suited my situation...
Hope you like it too.

Pigeon

Exam was finally over!!! haha... base on the topic of my blog, you can say that after the exam I was like a pigeon released from the cage of books.. hahaha...
But, that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Today, I didn't go to school, wanted to take some rest at home reading my books, DOTA and sorts la.. But things weren't that nice for me. My dad hurt his spinal cord, thank God it wasn't a major injury. However, the injury had caused him to have some moving difficulties. Thus, as the boy of my the family, I have to stand up and move around.. hahaha.. In other words, you can say that I was my father's "leg" =.=

And so, my father gave me some tasks to do, for example, take my motor to my shop and deliver a document to a group of enterpriser. Sounds important eh? Of course!! My father is an important man!! hahaha.. And so that's what I did even though the sun was burning hot.

As usual, I ride fast as the road permited me to. I saw a group of pigeons in front of me, well, that's usual. I hon a little bit to shoo them off, they did as I wanted them to, fly away. ok.. fine.. After thinking that everything is well, I saw one pigeon which was quite fat, still struggling to get into the air, too bad, my velocity was fast and I was close to it.

SHIT!!!! BANG!!

That damn pigeon hit right into my face!!!! I lose a little bit of control.. The pain was disgusting!!! And right at the moment I felt dirty! MAN!! A pigeon! shit!!!...

So, that's why my topic is , it's doesn't signify freedom but disgust...

When I just entered the church Y.P, I played the drum and I rock at it.. The pianist was usually Danny, he was good also. We had great times together. After about two or three years, he finished his SPM and wanted to leave for K.L. At that time, I was sad cause I would have to play the piano and not the drum, even if I play the drum, there won't be anyone to play the piano... So I was obliged to play the piano.. >.<

However, I din't blaim anything cause it was God's work..

My friend, Thomas, was interested in the drum. Well, fine, I thought him but it was a hard time as he did not get in touch with music at all... He knows little about the bits, tempo and timing.. And what's worse, these stuffs are very hard to teach, there are in you... So, you can see how hard it is. I can only teach him the theory part but he can't use it for regular songs.

I admit, at the first stage, I was frustrated. Can't believe it took so long for him to understand. I played a lot for him to see but he just can't do it.. At that moment, my mind was like :" Fine, I just play my piano.. Fine..." I was dissapointed cause no one can play the drum but I kept quiet..

Last night, we sang a song, Open The Eyes of My Heart. It was a great song proposed by Jerry. It's a new to all of us, even me. So, Jerry thought us to sing. I didn't know why, Thomas actually played well for this song! All the timing problem which he usually has, all dissapeared! He can even "row" with perfect timing and beat! Wow!!! Because of that, he enlighten the whole Y.P to sing.. Great!!

Later on, I played some songs for him.. Well, he did great!! Really!! Amazing.. I was very happy.. Kept smiling like never before. It seems like I have now a band of my own.. hahaha..

Me= Piano, drum, violin or bonggo
Thomas = Drum
Brandon = Guitar
Kanggo = bonggo, piano ( coming to be )

Great!!! I am really happy with this.. All we need to do is work harder and we could perform and serve our God with our best!! Gambateh, my friends!@!!!

Untitled

OK.. what do we have for these few days..
well well well...

( Brain turning and tuning to get to the main line )

Ah uh!! Got it..
Well fellow friends, these few days, I think it's from Friday to Saturday, a lot of bad things happened to me. Well, the bad things here doesn't mean that I went smoking or raping some girls, it's just that these two days weren't good, they made me say and frustrated.

Well, on Friday, I got a terrible news about school stuffs which involve one of my dear friend. Well, I can say that that matter happened based on 50% of misunderstanding and 50% of my fault. Well, it has been quite some time since I made a big mistake. It involved some teachers and bla bla bla la. However, that incident tought me a lot and because of that, I can now look back at that case and type "HAHAHA". You can say that even it's not a good thing to happen but however, I was glad it happened. Made me knew a lot about some people. I am so happy!!! Of course, I didn't mean that I would want it to happen again.. no no no..

On Saturday, after my physics tuition, Thomas, Brandon, Kango and I went to my school to have a nice game of basketball just to release the tension after 2 hours of momentum, inertia and force stuffs. All right, at the beginning was fun. We splitted into two teams, that means 2vs2. Wow.. So nice.. I don't care if we played badly or stupidly.. nah.. I don't care, What I care is that we had fun and it helped foster a nice frienship in us. I just love it. Everything was just fine until my brother, Jerry and Michael came. Well, you can say they are our respected seniors but, however, they destroyed the joy we had. They were like shouting at us and commenting on our skills and bla bla bla la. It wasn't a basketball game anymore, it was like a shouting arena with many negative comments.. jeee.. so sienzzz... After that, I can't control my temper and dissatisfaction anymore. Thus, I called Jerry and talked to him. We had a heated coversation, I listed out my points.. all sorts of points la.. Thank goodness that he discover his mistake and he apologised. Great.. fine..

Anyway, though these two things ended up quite happily, I just feel some kind of sadness within my heart. Eveytime my mind passes through these two inceidents, I can taste bitterness and sour. I don't know why. Well, I deeply hope that things could turn better especially the exam. After many hard times preparing for the exam, I would want to get some rest and some fun together with my friends, I do not want anymore sad-causing things to happen. Enough.

Boring

Even though I am sitting for my B.M paper tomorrow, however, I still feel calm and easy.. cool and easy ... ^^.. I don't feel very nervous or something like that..
well, life in school turned out to be lonely and uninteresting as everyone is digesting their own books but me, well, what I do is loitering around as my class is damn hot. Nothing special lately except for some problems... well.. that problems really caused me to lose my energy or spirit to do anything.. funny.. Now only I realise how much that thing affects me.. fine..

well, actually I don't have anything to post but somehow I just wanted to visit my blog and blog something.. anything.. whatever..

I composed a song the other day.. not long ago.. That song was composed mainly for a friend.. well.. you see, something wrong happened and I felt sad and down.. Funny, even when I was in a low mood, yet I still can compose a song which bring out some sad elements.. haha.. not bad ah.. lol.. Thomas, Brandon and Kango said it was a good song only if you know the main purpose of me composing it... I hope I can let someone dear to me listen.. hehe..

The wheather lately is terrible. So, to my friends out there studying as well as my brother and also to me and my friends around me, watch out...What's worse, this unpleasent wheather plus the coming of exam really make me sick... yucks.. so sienzz... got to study and pay attention during this hot wheather.

jee.. I guess that's all for today.. Hope I can score well in my PTP examination..

Life

Mid year examination is near.. To all my friends, I hope that you all are well prepared... Everytime an examination is near, life turns to be boring. Even though my daily activity such as basketball, Dota, blogging still goes on but somehow, there is a kind of feeling in me that is nagging to me saying, "exam is near, exam is near".. jee.. I do not like that kind of feeling. It's like you can't do something happily.

In school, I usually do my own things, read my book, do some studying and walking around the school. At home, usually I will face the computer or study. That's the life when exam is near. I do not even have the mood to have a plan for some fun or something. Life is so down... T.T

However, I realise there are some people who are worse than I am. Everytime the exam is near, they would at least spend about 3 hours infront of their book. Well, for this kind of people, I do feel sorry for them when their results are not so superb. In my opinion, sports and studies are kind of link together ( my opinion la ). I would say like this because everytime I feel boring after a long time studying, I would choose to play some basketball and that really helps me. It keeps my mind fresh and also increase the rate of thinking of my mind. So, for me, I would take about 2 hours or 1 to study and I would understand it but for some people, they take hoursssss... well... anyway, it is up to them..

During the days which near to the exam, my friends and I like to think like this : What are going to do after the exam? At that moment, there would be many ideas in our mind.. I would like to do this, that, this, that.. bla bla.. but the funny thing is, after the exam, we won't do any of them.. hahaha.. funny...

Not much to write for this post... I think that exam is good if it is treated with as a chance for you to know your academic reputation ; but, if it is taken as a burden or some sort of way to show of to your friends etc etc.. then it is wrong.. try to enjoy exam... HEHE^^

turn of events

As usual, my phone's alarm rangs in a tone which I don't like it ( only in the morning. ^^) I woke up forcefully, woke my brother up and headed to school. Everything was normal there except for the assembly. Man! It's hot with all those stupid speeches and stuffs like that. They can't think for the students.. jee.. Everytime those authorities start their speech, they would say something like "Yang berusaha Tuan Pengetua".. So, why can't they say "Pelajar-pelajar yang PANAS sekalian"? jeee.. I hate it... I can see some girls covering their countenance with a book or something especially my young friend Vic. haha.. pity them.. Well, you know they like their complexion to be fair and nice... up to them la.. hahah..

After that, I headed back to my class with a hot head. What's even worse, Faridah, my lame Bio teacher was in the class.. wow.. that, increase the heat... All of a sudden, I started to catch a flu. Well, for some who knows me, they would also know that this flu is not the usual one, it's that kind when your nose get so itchy and you would sneeze and sneeze non stop. jee.. the feeling is bad and terrible... Anyway, I am a tough guy.. hehe.. so I beared it... Nothing can stop me!!! hahaha!!

After recess, this nose of mine get worse.. I was suffering.. Head spinning with no one to talk with... no one even understand.. ( If you read my old blogs, you would know that my classmates are lame.. T.T)..

At that time, an idea occured in my mind: GO HOME.. Fine! With all my strength and might, I walked to m best friends, Thomas's, class to desperately seek for some reinforcement. Luckily, he didn't let me down. We went to the office and did all those procedures.. bla bla bla..

( everything is fast forwarded)

After I reached home, I told my mum and dad... Had lunch.. watch a short movie and went to sleep. Great.. I felt so comfortable on my bed... I love it!! hahahaha.. After a 2 hours sleep, I was back to life again.. hahaha.. healthy and strong.. hahaha.. I log on to www.NBA.com and watched how LeBron slamed the dunk with the help of Mo Williams. They won Detroit Pistons with a 4-0 street.. Cool man!! With that, I was filled with energy again..

Get onto my bike and went to tuition.. Had a great time there with all the learnings and fun together with Thomas, Brandon and Elin..

Later on, I got on the court and again, had a great game... Well, I was suppose to practise my ping pong but.. hehehe.. can't stand the nice feeling of basketball. Anyway, I had a great game with my friends... After that game, I had dinner with Thomas... Ate plate of fried mee and 2 cups of apple juice.. delicious.. haha.. and at the end, typing this blog..

You might think that this is lame.. hahaha. wasted your time reading this blog.. but.. I was happy while typing it.. don't know why.. hahaha.. tata~

care and love.. no more important?

In my life, I seldom care or love someone ( friends ) but when I got into secondary life, I did find a couple of friends to care and to love. It's simple, because they are worth it. Maybe some of you would say that, well, friend is just a phase. It will pass and the new ones would come soon. But, however, after getting some experience from my brother, I started to realise that secondary "buddies" are indeed important as I thought. My brother here would come back evey weekends and that is the time he would go out and hang around with his secondary buddies, for example, Jerry and Michael. Both of them are very nice and sweet guys ^^..

Well, here is the matter. As I get older, although I ain't really old. kaka.., some people around me get my attention. Mind you, I ain't talking about BGR here. Maybe I would think that, wow, that guy or girl is a true friend, a true buddy, maybe we can be friends. Or, wow.. this guy or girl is special, I wanna know her or him.

As I am very clear about it, to befried someone, you must start by caring for him and showing that you want to be his or her friend. And so, that's what I did. I, together with 2 of my best best friends, offer love, cafe and friendship to him or her. We did this to extend that we would help this person as best as we can. That's what we are willing to do for friends. After quite some time, well, we are really satisfied with what we did. We thought that this person will take us as a friend also. Well, if you are a human, and another human offers you care and friendship without any bad ideas in his mind, I am sure that human would accept it and start to get to know each other. But however, we were like living in a fantasy world where everything sounds so good to us. Well, actually it really sounds good to us.

There are some people ( not more than 3 ) who deliberately ignore our efforts. The meaning ignore here doesn't mean that we are forcing that person to be friend with us. Jeee... NO! The ignore that I meant is they take us as nothing, or you can say, take us for granted. FOR GRANTED! Well, if you want to say, lucas, I don't feel quite comfortable with you. FINE! Let's go that way then. But these guys are different. They tell you that they accept but in the reality, they don't know you, in other words, they would not put you in their life.

For this problem, I am starting to scartch my head. What's wrong to these guys? Have we done not enough? Inadequete? What's the problem? Is love and care no more important in friendship? Is a smile that matters most in a friendship?

For these guys, I can notice that 2 out of 3 of them are empty in the heart. Everytime they encounter some problems, emotional perplexity, they often have no one to turn to. Well, I am not saying that I am the best choice for you to confide in. Please, please, NO! I ain't a guy like that, shameless! What I am trying to say here is that, a human being, to my oppinion, should have at least 1 or 2 best friends beside you. It is just like a wife to a husband or vice versa. In a growing age, friends, peers, play an important role. It is so important that, once you got mix up with good ones, you will be good ; once you get into the wrong path, well, sad to say, you will get mix along with them and be one of them. Do not care about the possitive or negative part, focus on the side which shows the importance of friends. For me, friends are like someone who will care for you when you fall, someone who will laugh with you when you are happy, someone who will share what he or she gets, someone who will advice and name out the wrong and right of yours. That's what a friend's for! But for these rather peculiar group of people, they do not think so. They think the other way. For instance, friends are just for happy moment; if you care too much for a friend, you will tend to lose her or him; the purpose of having friends is just to cut down the number of enemies around you. Bullshit!!! If you are reading this blog and think that friedns are INDEED suppose to be like that, I am telling you that you are WRONG!

AS a teenager, we should emphasise on friends especially when we are outside but, however, never forget that families are always the first. But this is never an excuse for you to say that I share things with my mum or dad so friedns are just extras. That, is another bullshit. There is a saying in chinese that can be defined as when you are at home, you rely on you parents; when you are outside in the world, you rely on friends. (在家靠父母，出外靠朋友) What a beautiful saying! I am seriuosly telling this to a friend of mine who is very young and you can say naive. I hope that she can understand what I am trying to say. ^^ Good luck!

Well, through this blog, you can conclude that I am quite obsess with friends. haha! That is only half right as I also rely on my brother a lot. It is just that my mum gives me a lot of freedom to mix around with people. Thus, through all these time outside, I learn all these stuffs without anyone teaching. I also learn about the importance of friends, or more to say accompany, in the Bible.

Hope that this blog won't offend anyone and I also hope that those who read this would think about their social life if they having some problems with friends.

so early

i woke up all of a sudden.. reluctantly i woke up and walked to my clock, took it and have a vague lookat it. 5am.. jeee... what am i doin at this time.. 5am.. usually i wake up at 7am, NOT 5am!!!

i forced myself back to my bed and close my eyes. I still can't sleep even though I want to! Oh, I really hate that feeling. So, I changed my place of sleeping, I went to the floor and lied down. Only then I started to gain some sleep... funny..

ring````` ring````` ring```

The normal 6.30am alarm clock shouted at my ear... jeeee... I just slept!! what's the matter now?! I switched it off with full anger and shouted at my brother Marcus. "Marcus!!! Marcus!!! Wake up!!!" shouted that angry, frustrated and sleepy young man. He woke up, and did all his stuffs... Brush teeth, change clothes... bla bla.. all those daily activity..

"Lucas! Lucas! Wake up! It's 7am!!" At this moment i thought there was another alarm clock and I was all ready to break it but only then I knew it was my brother.. Jeee.!!! How i hate it!! RELUCTANTLY, I got up and went to bath...

What a lousy morning..
Actually, the fact that I have to wake up so early every morning is already lousy.. I want to SLEEP!!!!

( i type this before going to school... hehehe ^^ at 7.16am too bad the connection got some problem all of a suddenT.T)

=.=

debate is nice.. yes.. it is nice.. but.. it is stressful.. yes.. it is stressful. a whole week sacrificed for the sake of debate.. wow.. i can do basketball trainings and even ping pong trainings and i won't feel so tired but debate practises and points collecting, arreanging are TIRED!!

Can't debate be more easier? Jeez...

Glory to the LORD!

We got into the finals for our debate competition. I should be happy that I won but somehow, I was just happy for a while. After espressing my happiness to Vic, I felt like it's gone.. Funny.. Why? Why? Well, I do not know..

Well, as we got into the finals, we have many preparations to do. So busy! Because we are having a different debate title for the finals... It was rather hectic, preparing everything, arranging those points bla bla bla. What I know is happy times will pass in a short time but this is different. Those weren't happy times but hard times, but, it went through also in a short while...

Everything was as though fast forwarded until the time I was on my bike returning home. All in a sudden I felt empty and a voice was talking to me... More like asking where should I go... where should I go.. It's obvious, isn't it? At that time I was suppose to go home and yet such question occered in my mind. What's even funny is that I didn't answer that I should go home, instead, I said to myself, I should go to Kango's house. Ok, that's it, Kango's house, here I go..

I made some turns, drove along the road and reached Kango's house. Now, I was asking myself, what am I doing here? At that time, Kango came out. I was expressionless, I didn't know what to say to him but our friendship is good so we can almost say anything. And so I asked him, how are you? After some brief conversation, Kango suddenly asked me whether or not I know anything about "bi xian". I was shocked! Oh my.. I asked him quickly, did u play that thing? He replied he watched his friends playing. That really bring a great shock into my life.. Dear dear.. I quickly ran into the house and searched for Jerry, Kango's brother. He was also shocked upon hearing that news.

Then, the both of us explained to him what's so dangerous about this "bixian". It took several minutes and at last, Kango broke into tears. He was scared but I told him that Jesus would always be with us so we are not to be scared yet we are not to put the Lord our God to the test. Kango get every word into him.. He promised to not watch or get involve with this "bi xian" anymore.

If any of you, after reading this blog, do not know what is "bi xian" and why is it so dangerous, you can ask me anytime, I am willing to explain. What I am trying to say here to my fellow Christians is that, God speaks. I am certainly sure that it was God's will for me to go to visit Kango. This is not a coincidence.. So, my brothers and sisters, sometimes, after getting very busy, you have to also quiet down your mind to listen what's around you.. I want to give thanks to the Lord for speaking to me and thus, save a soul. Thanks LORD!!!!

worth it?

Friday.... 3/4/2009
7.50pm....

In my life, I emphasise on my friends a lot. Some say that that's my weekness ; some say that that's my strong point. Whatever they say, I am like this and I like being so.

Tommorow is one of my best friends' birthday. As usual, Tommy, Brandon, Elin and I thought of buying something for her birthday. Although some of us have financial problems but we help each other to buy something for her birthday.

The clouds are getting dark, meaning it's going to rain at any minute. So how's the plan, ask Tommy. errr... err.. good question.. It's going to rain and none of us can drive... After some quick thinkings, I decide to go together with Brandon as I have the motor and Brandon is paying for Elins' share. And so it's decided.

Off we go!! Deep down in my heart I know that it would rain but something tells me that I have to get this present no matter what happens. Fine... we go to a nearby shop which is famous for presents selling. After quite some time, I pick a teddy bear which I think she would like it, afterall she is a lovely girl so such lovely things should suit her. As for Brandon, he chooses a picture frame, hoping that she would like it.

Satisfied, we walk out off the shop and are shocked. It's raining, HEAVILY!!! Oh my gosh.. Never mind, it's worth it, the similar sound speaks to me. Ok then, if you say so, I tell myself. We plan for an "escape". Done!! I mount my bike and start the engine as fast as I can, and speed off. The rain is so cold and hurting!! It hit my skin without a single mercy, just like tiny needles trying to penetrate my skin no matter what. I am a tough guy ^^, so i bear the pain with all my might. After a hard time, I reach my home. Quickly, my brother tells me to get some hot shower or risk dying.. ( so scaring hahaha )..

Although this thing happend in just a short time, it did raise a lot of thinkings in my mind. Is it worth it? Such question would appear because before this I had some harsh time with her and to my opinion, she didn't seem like a best friend to me. But yet my mind keeps telling me that it's worth it. jeez.. complicated.. What I can do now is just to hope that she would appreciate our sincerity.. Just hope ...

top and bottom incompatible

Thursday, 2/4/2009, 1.50pm.
Came back from the bola baling competition today in SMK Valdor. Stomach filled with anger that caused me to write this blog..

From the blog below you can see that these few days I am busy with this bola baling training. I am so happy that I can be on the team even though this is the first time I play this sport.. Thus, filled with enthusiasm, Tommy and I went to this competition.
The first day was good. Our school won two schools ( I forgot the names ) with Tommy scoring and me defending and assisting.. Thank God, we got into the quater-final.
This is the day. The quater-final match against Sungai Acheh. well, this school is not that strong. we can bit them, only if we work together. But things didn't turn out to be so. At the first quater, my teammates were very tired, so tired that they can't even walk back to defend the goal. So seriuos!! But, here's the most lame thing, our teacher, who is famous for some racial thinking, didn't let me or Tommy in the team, just let us be on the bench. It was so obvious that the players were tired but he didn't change us in.
I was very angry. I didn't and don't know why he didn't want to change us in and I don't think there was a reason. Base on my observation and thinking, I think that this teacher didn't want any Chinese in the team unlike the other teacher at the first day. So, no matter what happen to them, Chinese won't be playing.
Seriously I don't think that he is suitable to be a teacher. Teachers are suppose to cultivate unity among races but this idiot teacher didn't.. What's worse, he was willing to let the team lose..
After that I complained to our teacher. He understood our situation. Now that's a good teacher!! At least he was willing to listen and think!!! So, this day, this morning although it's a very important match but I didn't play AT ALL!
Our government is putting tremendous efforts to make sure that harmony is present among races but the teachers are doing lame things like that. That's why this topic is "top and bottom incompatible". Pity our government, trying so hard to repair things up but teachers acting like this.. As a Chinese, I was and am seriuosly angry for teachers treating me like that... I hope I can let this particular teacher read my blog and let him open up his lame brain to think rasionally..

I will be back...

From Friday to Tuesday, my parents, together with my grandmother, will be in Guang Dong, China.. Due to some reasons, my elder brother, younger brother and I won't be going.. In other words, we would be alone in Nibong Tebal for 5 days... totally alone...

However, now that my brother is 18 years old, I no longer feel like we are some sorts of danger all by ourself. Life's still normal without my parents but that doens't mean that i don't need them, it's just that I feel independent. That's a part of growing in life.

Since the exam is over, I have some free times to do my own things. What should I do? Everytime I go online there's no one to talk to, even if there is, they are always away or busy... =.=.. Life's indeed normal and better away from my class but however, it's quiet.. Somehow, I like it !! ^^

As I grow bigger, I am no longer as noisy as I was when I was young... talking everyday, asking everyday... Haha.. Now, I just like to do my own things especially reading.. wow.. I love reading.. haha.. But again, that doesn't mean that I hate talking to people.. Oh yes I like to talk to my families and friends that I care for..

Home is nice.. Home together with friends is also nice... Hope that I won't have to go back to school again.. But I have to face the reality.. The reality is that Methodist wants to smack us to the maximum in the debate competition.. This is one thing that I cannot allow it to happen with me around.. This is one of the reality. I have to go to school to take back my pride and dignity, afterall, I am the brother of the best speaker in SPS in the year 2008. I won't let them to smear my school's name.. Little the chance that I have to win, I will fight to the end and lose with pride. Oh yes I will.. Besides, my school's ping pong team needs me. haha.. Although I ain't that good but I am one of the best in my school. The competition is just around the corner... I will get some medals back. Yes I will... Another thing, next week is the bola baling competition... This is the first year I am taking part in this sport and I am in the school team.. Cool... They need me too.. Most importantly, my dear friends need me too. Some of my friends need me to watch their back, some of them need me as their company, some of them need me to teach them to ponteng once in a while... =.=

I cannot just lay my ass at home doing nothing... I don't care how lame my class is, how cold are some people to me, how foolish are those teachers, how reluctant I am to wake up in the morning, I will be there... And if anyone who reads this is in the same school with me, if you need my help, I will oblige myself to help...

Welcome to the reality world, Lucas...