So fast hor.

Without knowing noticing the passing of time, SPM has passed it's first two weeks. There're only 4 papers left for me.

Once again, the quickness of time never fail to impress me but luckily I am not neglected by it this time.

If you ask me how's my exam, I can only say, so far so good. "So far" means the first two weeks. But, next Monday is my Chemistry paper.

It spells "doom". Everyone who knows me will understand that my Chemistry has a certain "grade". Ok. This is quite embarrassing. But, I am really really glad that at times like these, there's someone there to help me. I am really really happy. ^^

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Not long from now, SPM will be my history and something totally new will be my reality. The problem is, I ain't quite sure what that "reality" is. It suddenly occur to me that I have to decide where I am going after this. And the decision of mine will decide many things. MANY THINGS. You can say that I am just too frighten by that idea. Cause it's rather obvious that my decision will gain me something, well, something I ain't sure about but what I am sure is, I will lose many things. Maybe lose sounds a bit too serious. But I have to leave home, leave my friends, family and go to somewhere unfamiliar to start a new life. It's really hard to say goodbye...

Anyway, Chemistry first. Good luck everyone.

Form 1, 2, 3, 4, 5----------------ENDED

Juz studied. I actually felt weird studying so much in a day. Yeah, what can I do? Nex week is SPM, i guess i have to give my best shot.

I looked through my school beg just now. Saw some old stuffs and some school stuffs. Just then, a feeling passed through my mind.

Secondary school life is over. I might not be even wearing a school uniform anymore. Back then, how I wished I could just get out of that school but now, looking back, I am feeling nostalgic.

Those memories and times I had there were, are and will be very precious to me.

For instance, ping pong competition. I took part in this competition since I was form 1. Started training with my bro and friends. Even the training time, we really had great time. Listening to the sound of the ball hitting the table, cross the net, hit the table again and hit the bat. Those sounds, those feelings, those concentrations and those inspiration, I don't think I can get it again. Every year, around March, I will look forward to the MSSPP Ping Pong competition. Not one year passed without me getting a medal, be it gold or silver.

Group competition, single, double.

The feeling when you smash the ball hard enough and make a victorious roar. How nice. Really, how nice. This sort of competition, you can only get them during secondary school life. And now they are gone. It's as if a part of my life is blown away, vanished into thin air.

Besides, friends is also one of the thing which added man colours into this already colourful life. From form 1 till form 5, I got to know many friends, well, at least all of them. But the funny thing is, not all of them can last long. For example, you are very close with a friend in form 1 but that doesn't mean you can still call him your friend at the end of form 5. You get it? Many factors stand in the way to a perfect friendship. Nevertheless, it's always good to appreciate what you have from time to time.

Usually, I have to wake up everyday, or, to be more specific, every morning. The feeling was terrible. However, currently it has changed. I can sleep till the day turns dark again, according to my own will. It's just so different. Leaving behind these also signifies the departure between me and my friends. Every time this thought comes into my mind, unknowingly, I feel like crying. It did not occur to me that I won't be able to see my best friends everyday because usually I'll see them everyday. Hahaha. But now, I have to prepare myself for something new. Maybe I just can see them once a week? Or maybe like my brother, can't see them for at least 2 weeks?

Well, my bro keep saying that it's something natural but for now, I can't accept that. I mean, must it be that way? Well, I know I am asking a stupid question.

Haiz... There are many things that I am unwilling to give up.

Whatever it is, I just hope all my friends and all the one I care for will do well in their SPM. After this, guys, keep in touch please. Do not let anything stand in our way to reach each other. Friendship forever. It's easy to be said but very very difficult to achieve it.

All the best guys..

changes

When the days of high school are coming to an end, it feels like something is disappearing, something slipping off my grasps. On the other hand, I just can't wait to face the world, or maybe, if I am not that "lucky" at least I can have a different life. But come to think of it, I am still studying next year, what's the big deal?? Haha.

Though life these few weeks have been quite slow, emo and of course, I had my great and happy time too. ^^ Most importantly, I learned something.

You see, back in those days, I judged people. It sounds creepy but that was what I did back then. I judged based on their attire and the way they brought themselves. So, if that person did not "satisfy" me in certain aspects, I would have canceled him off very quickly.

But recently, as I am growing up, I found out that actually I was very very wrong.

Many people have different ways and a variety of ideas to show themselves to the public. It's not in my power to judge or to say or to give any comment about a situation. I am just me. I am just Lucas.

By thinking so, I learned to accept. Acceptance is the best way to learn. Without acceptance, there won't be lesson, no lesson, no improvement.

So, things and people around me, whom I did not really like back then, I am learning to accept them into my life. Because the main thing is difference. I am different from them and vice versa. Something different means something new. It's high time for me to explore more, to learn more, to see more, to experience more.

Haiz.. late le late le..

sleep la.. why think so much hor..

Not much to post lately.

What to do.

SPM is so near, do not have much to say also.

All the best guys..

To those who are concerned.

-Too much of misunderstandings can lead to demolition, especially in a friendship.-

The trial exam is over.

Many things are over also, including some things which I don't want it to be over.

For those who read my blog often, I just want to say something, or you can say that I want to explain and make some things straight.

Hey guys, all of you who are going to the KL trip, please, please do not have the wrong idea. I am not saying anything bad about it or think that you guys are bastards for not calling me. I am okay with it cause even if you guys did call me, I will be occupied that day so I have to turn you all down. What I don't like is the way some of you act in front of me. I know pretty well that I am not invited and so be it. I won't force my way through. So, if you guys want to talk about it just do it. There's no need to put up a show and act or put up a quick silence whenever I am around you all. If you want to talk or discuss about that trip, go ahead! It's ok for me. Come on, those of you who really know me would know how many times I have been to KL. I might as well offer some ideas.

Okay??

I really hope that I've made myself clear enough.

If any of you still have doubts or are not really sure about things, I welcome your questions.

-.-

Monotonous lately.

Nothing much in mind except for all the academic stuffs.
Exam can really transform one's mood and perception to things. For instance, I feel lazy doing anything apart from studying now. But currently is a different situation. Tomorrow I am having my Chemistry paper and I sucks at it. So, kinda feel sad. Haha.. Whatever.

Having exam in the hall is quite boring. You just have to sit there and look at the paper in front of you for around 2 hours. Jeez. Try to imagine if you can't understand what those black things are talking about. If that's the case, then all you can do is to sit there and dream about your nice and bright future, maybe rosy also. Haha.

Having exam fever now. Can't find a particular cure for it. And the thing about this sickness, it's contagious. Spreads around like the diffusion of air, quick and thief-like. It's inevitable.

=.=

The feeling I have now is in the middle of a lamentation and an expression where you put your index finger together. That's it. Haha. You can say helpless.

But as a short, I am just here to update my blog. Nothing much to blog also unless you wanna listen about the exam stuffs. Haha..

But I will certainly blog next week. Stay tuned

Boyfriend, Girlfriend and $$$

The problems of couples have been ruled out though not solved.
However, recently I had a conversation with a close friend of mine which really prompt me to blog about it, and maybe put some additional thoughts into it.

Many people, or to be more specific, many teenagers around my age who are going to leave the comfortable and spoon-feeding environment of the school, consider education as something less important compared to money. Now, we do see this kind of topics during our exams, be it BM, BC or BI. The tittle would sound like this :" Money? Knowledge? Which weighs heavier?" Yeah, something like this. And, the funny thing is, many students love to write topics like this. They said that it's actually very easy to score cause more or less, you know what to write. Obviously, knowledge is much more important. Bla Bla Bla.. All the contents and BOOM, you get a good result. But what I am trying to say here, is about application and mentality. Yes, you can write well, your sentences can be remarkable but that doesn't mean that you understand what you're writing actually .

So, this thought, which originated from the conversation with my friend, really is something. What I heard was that quite a number of young people actually consider money, or feel that money (be it Ringgit or Paun Sterling or Dolar) is much more important and glamorous than knowledge (academic). Regarding this, I really have a lot to say due to my current environment which proves this statement to be more true. For instance, there are many girlfriends who demand their boyfriend to buy this and buy that for them. Indirectly, one of the requirements of a boyfriend must be cash. They don't bother whether that guy is a nut or a lunatic or some stupid moron, as long as he is fat in his pocket, then he's the best of the best. In order more funny words, there won't be the best because we can't actually count money, isn't it so?
Well, so this kind of thoughts, this kind of mentality have been dominating many girls and as a result, the boys too. They see it as a must to have at least RM100 in their wallet before they go dating with their girlfriend. And in all these "trend", girls tend to compare, as it is what they are made of. They will compare their boyfriends with other girl's boyfriend. They would say that my boyfriend will do this and do that for me and if the other girl thinks that her current boyfriend is not that good, then the relationship will have a major problem. Okay, this is the phenomena we have for it.

Now, I am going to place my comment as a reply for this current matter. Of course, anyone who like to put a word about this is always welcome.


Looking from the boy's view

I would rather think that if the boy gives a welcoming respond to the girl's request for material satisfaction, then the boy has lost his balls. Well I know that it's quiet rude to say that but I guess that's the best description. So for those guys who have plenty of cash but nothing in the brain, he thinks that he is superior, he is above the others cause the chicks like him. As we can see here that this thinking is totally wrong. As a result of it, we will have students who are ignorant and unbelievably hostile towards teachers in the school. Why? Cause they think that they are damn rich and by owing this key point, they are great. At the age of 16, 17 and maybe 18, having too much money will be a workshop for the devil. We do not know how to handle money wisely. Worst, there are girls around to stimulate us. Thus, one who has a lot of money and is welcomed warmly by girls, surely will lose focus for other aspects in life which as a matter of fact, are more important than his current possession. So, to my opinion, this have a kind chain effect which will cause or maybe aggravate other problems.

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Guys, come on, don't embarrass we men. A girl who likes your money more than what you are. Come on! Think! Think! Think! Will this girl continue to love you or support you when you have nothing at all? I am sure the answer will be 99.9999999% NO! Use your brain PLEASE!

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Looking from the girl's view

So, girls, if you really like a guy who only has money and money only, think about it again. Will his money last forever? There is a Chinese maxim which sounds like sit and eat finish. That's right. That guy that you like, indeed he has a lot of money but think about it, whose money is that in the first place? Yeap, his parents. So, he is depending on his parents to satisfy you. And what if one day, his parents are gone? What will happen? Hence, for those females who love $$$ so much, please, be smarter cause at the end of it, money is vanity.

Hmmm... Anything I missed out here?

Please give me your comments because I think that this is very important so the more who agree with it and have other opinions, the better.

The Time Left 1

SPM trial exam is really coming soon- after 2 weeks.
It's really boring to stay at home and face the book hard for a long solid 2 weeks. It's suppose to be a holiday for us and yet we have to study extra harder. Sigh..
What kind of feeling is that. But, yet again, it's SPM, extra effort and some sacrifices must be done.
So now I really want to study hard for this 2 weeks though I am not really sure whether I can control my laziness from getting the better of me. Come on, it's a 2 weeks holiday!!! sigh..
If you put it in another dimension or angle, you might see different things. Minus the 2 weeks holiday and the trial exam, I just have one month left in SMKSN. Shocking news even though it has been obvious. Despite the limited time we (SMKSN students) have in our school, there are still some misunderstandings going on. Created by who, I am not really sure about that but I seriously think that it's really really really childish we pick a fight at the last month in school. It seems so lame. But again, it's me who think so. The rest of them, I am not certainly sure that they will take heed of what I have said due to some factors. xD
Entering September, the time in school and the mood I have in school is totally different. With my friend, I feel happy. With teachers, ok la~ not that bad la.. LOLx.
Actually now, me, here, looking at the huge screen, having a lot in mind but lack of words to describe it. I am going to miss this place. All these times, happy and sad ones, I am gonna miss them all. My friends and my enemies. I still can't get used to the idea that I am actually leaving this school and this comfort zone not long later. Many of my seniors said that I should learn to let go of it and keep moving on. But sometimes I just wonder, why can they let go so easily? After all the times together, all the feelings we have with each other, you can actually just let it go like that? Man.. Maybe it's because I am emotional. Maybe I am not mature enough.. Maybe this maybe that. Sigh.

Now, hehe.. let me bring you for a brief walk across my memories in SMKSN.
First, the six of us. Wahahaha.. That's the nice part. The six brothers
1)Kane Kee
2)Eric Goh
3)Steven Law
4)Brandon Ng
5)Thomas Ong
6)Lucas Teoh
Now let me tell you, we really have a nice time together. We played basketball together. It's hard to depict the fun we had on the court. I really love it. We often laugh and laugh. And, we did pretend to be Lakers team and Celtics team. I will be Kobe Bryant cause I really love this guy. Kakakaka.. Sometimes Kane can really make a hack of surprise on the court. For example, he can just make a shot from downtown without even thinking and the ball will enter the loop without a sound. Cool eh. Hahahaha.. That's him. As for this Eric Goh, ahahaha, he is a wonderful shooter. His accuracy is quite good and he can often be one of our scoring leader. Wakakaka. He once mentioned that his accuracy is something like the accuracy of the shooters in NBA. LOL!!!! That's our Eric Goh. Steven Law, this guy loves to drive into the pain and make a tough lay up. Well, this is it. Whenever he can't score a point, he will ask for a foul. ahahaha.. so it often becomes our joke for him. Anyway, it's nice to play with him. Brandon Ng, or we call him Neng, he ain't that good with the ball but he claims himself to be LeBron James. How embarrassing. As for this Thomas, he's really like Dwight Howard from the Orlando Magics. He is good with basketball and whenever his presence is felt, there would be unlimited jokes. As for me, well, I don't know what to say about me. Kakaka ^^

In terms of Dota, the six of us still remains but there is another one- Teh. Now, this guys is seriously a Yammo. Hahaha.. He is also a very nice friend. We enjoy his presence a lot.

It's getting late and my eyes are giving some sign to me. I will find another day to continue this (it is still not finish) hehehe.. Stay tuned dude.

A New Hope

A few weeks have passed, signifying the coming of SPM and Trial.
Of course, I am studying hard but I don't think that's the best I have. I can study even harder but there are too many disturbance and attractions around me. Walao. This DotA la, hard to get rid of it. Damn.. It's just too captivating and it's hard to say no to it, especially when friends call for it. Lao eh.. hard to reject but I have to work harder on this. STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!!

If any of you wants to know about the recent update of my school, I have only one thing to say and you have only one main thing to notice : the increasing number of couples.
OK, that's it but rest assured, I am the one contributing to the raise in number of couples. I am still SINGLE and will be in this state until...until.. until...sorry but I don't have an actual date for it. Sad but never mind. I take this as a challenge to test my determination towards the changes around me and I will succeed. Once success is within my grasp, there will be peace....

But it is hard to deny the fact that I am a little bit lonely. At first I thought that I feel like this because I want one but after some serious meditation, I am sure that I have the right to feel so cause most of my friends have to accompany their GF. So, I am left alone. Ok.. Great. I can't do anything for that. Maybe there is something hidden behind this sudden loneliness. Maybe there is something I need to settle or solved with my current situation. Hmmmm.. Maybe... yeah.. maybe...

Besides, the days left for me to play around in SMKSN are decreasing. It seems like it's time for me to appreciate it. Hahaha.. But honestly, I will miss my days here.. Ping pong competition.. Friends.. I will miss them.

Hmmmm.. That's all la.. Stay tuned..

For you to read... Read it please

I wanted to be someone great. I wanted to achieve greatness beyond others. But, I couldn't. I was just not good enough. Even in my school, I wasn't the best. I was not the best guy. LOLx. No matter in what field we competed, I was just not good enough. Studies, sports, music, even my relationship with girls, I was just not good enough.
This thought often haunted me. I had me myself to blame too. I wanted to be someone. Consequently, I gave myself additional pressure. By doing so, I tend to look down on myself. I kept blaming myself for not doing enough or being better. Such feelings could be really tormenting. It's in the inside, not visible by others but you yourself. Every time I observed my failure befell on me due to my self-inadequacy, I hated myself for being so.

But, those were the past of mine. I realized that I don't really need to compete with others because this is who I am. I am what I am. I know that being a human, a mortal, I will have my weakness but that's what differentiate me from others. That's me. Yes.

I might not be able to give you the full support you wanted but I assure you, I will always be there for you. If you listen to these words, know that I will never fail to do so. You mark and remember my words then we will be standing tall. I can't see that day that I will let you fall. I might not be enough, I might not be perfect but I will try to be one just for you.

I know, I realize and I admit that I am not sufficient for you but I am happy for what I am, and I am definitely sure, I can make it for you.

Ok now it seems like July is coming to its last breath. As a result, August is coming in. If you look at the bright side, wow, we are having a new month; at the bad and sad side, trail exam is coming.

I really need to get started. Enough of those excuses and laziness. I can't afford to befriend them. I have to get rid of them. Immediately. But, it's always easily spoken than done. No matter what, diligence, determination, perseverance, focus and hard working, these all must come now.

Nothing much to blog about. That's all. Stay tuned. >.^

Mentality

I had my violin test this afternoon. As a matter of face, I don't have much to talk about it because it was like a flash.I have admit that I did a number of silly mistakes. I don't know why. Sigh. I love music. I love it a lot but I just can't get rid of my habit of making stupid mistakes from time to time.

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All right.. Forget about it. It is my pass and it will remain as so.

After my test, I went for some light shopping at Sunway Carnival. Well. nothing much to talk about that either.

When I get home, I went to school for a basketball game. There, again and again, I met some juniors... Yeah yeah.. I don't really like those arrogant kids. But whatever it was, I just played my game.
However, things got a little bit messy. One of them hit one of my friends. I din't like it. I din't like it a bit. That particular guy who hit my friend, he thought that he is the best player in my school. That sucks. So, the way he acts, it's like he is the king of court. The King. My shit. Almost immediately, I was fired up. I guarded him very roughly in purpose. Well, at this point, I admit that I should get the better of my temper. Releasing it randomly is something, foolish.
Then, another one came into the story. This one, he is from another school. Erm.. I won't like to talk too much about this school but this guy, as a student from this school, is immature, though he acts like a MAN.
He came in and did all kinds of stuffs which only and clearly reflected his stupidity and childishness. And so, with him in the story, a game became Toy Story. Emo/Max. SIen/Max. Walao.. Mood spoiler. Sienzzzz

Now, I want to talk about this. Maybe what I am going to say is also a reminder for me myself. You know, those people with talents and extraordinary abilities, you know you should appreciate it. And sir, by appreciating it doesn't mean you have to prove that you possess it. And by proving it, your ass turns green again. No! You don't do that! What we have is a gift and special power and, just like what Uncle Ben said to Peter, with great power, comes great responsibility. Yeah, that's very right. This is so especially for those who has a little talent but not that useful for his current circumstances. For example, if you are good on the court, maybe with basketball, badminton or ping pong, whatever it is, there is no need to be proud or arrogant. Come on man! Think about it. Ok, you are good. You dribble nicely, you shoot accurately, you can jump very high. So? So what? So you can be proud and lift your nose damn high? Shame for yourself. If you can make it to the NBA, then we salute you. But even so, there is no need to show off. Can you be better than Kobe? Can you slam more than LeBron? Don't make me laugh. It's just like that. What's more, we are students and our sole priority is to study. Do you actually think that by having a little skill on the court can ensure that you have a good future in Malaysia? Well, for your information, Malaysia's basketball SUCKS! That's it! Smack in your face! Sucks but you actually think that that's your main thing to show off. Oh come on. In cases like these, childish would be the best word for you. Keep up the good work.

And so, I do hope that some of my juniors can understand this. Maybe more people in NT should understand this, including some who are older than I am.

PLKN name list

Actually I was on my way to bed until I saw my bro's blog and it stimulated me to post something. LOL.

Today, many of my friends got to know that their names are in the name list of PLKN or we call it NS. Around 70% of my friends were chosen but, I wasn't.

I keep wondering why. My brother wasn't chosen also. Technically speaking, I would have been obliged to participate in this program but it turns out to be different. I ain't chosen and I can assure you, I am quite happy about it.

Well, enough about me. Let's take a look around my friends. Like I said, many of my friends are chosen. Thus, I have lots of expression to observe.

The result of my observations is shocking. My friends cried. They cried and got themselves EMO for the whole day. Can you believe that? They cried in the tuition and they wept and they, well, they blamed everything. Also, they did many stupid stuffs like announced their hatred for Najib and Muhyuddin in facebook.

Now, this PLKN thing is just a small part in life. It doesn't kill, it is not fatal, and it ain't that bad. So, what's wrong? Why those words and those faces? Tears, everywhere. They kept saying that they can't accept this fact. They kept complaining and blamed everything for being like what it was.

As an observer, I don't know what to say. It seems like they have met the end of life and I can't say anything to help. Even now, I really don't know what to say. Maybe it would be unfair to point out my opinion as everyone has their own thoughts and plan for themselves..

Lesson

I haven't returned to this blog for a considerable amount of time. I can say about 2 months. When one is having many things in mind which are needed to be accomplished, he certainly doesn't have any remaining time for blogging.
Looking back at those months, nothing really great happened except for today. What makes today so special is the outcome which is not really what I presumed it to be. I have been waiting for "today" for about a year. The funny things is, I couldn't believe that my patience was this good. I keep reading about how a guy waits for a girl for 8 or 10 years in those Chinese novels, some even 50 years. Haha.. Well, when I was reading that paragraph, I laughed inside my heart and said that this is ridiculous. However, I have waited for this day for one year and let me assure you, I haven't wait for something for so long.

This afternoon I conducted a inter-club ping pong competition. I sort of conducted it because I am the chairman of this Ping Pong Club in my school. It wasn't very hard to do. Luckily I got all the help I needed and so all the preparations smoothen up. Everything turned out quite well as a whole, nothing much to complain about. This sounds normal but it's not for me, because she was there. She was one of the referees which will help me record down those points.

So when everything was near completion, I decided to talk to her alone. And so that's what I did. Below are the question and answers as well.

"Hey, don't you think that it's a waste for us to just ignore each other since we once had fun together for quite some time??"

"No."

"So, does it mean that you don't care at all for our friendship that we had last year?"

"Yes, I don't really care."

"Wow.. erm.. Didn't you take us as one of your best friends?"

"No. You are just my sister's friends."

"You know, it's quite hurting to hear someone that we appreciate saying this..."

"...." ( No responds )


"Ok.. So... Do you want to start it all over again?"

"No."

"Come on, I know that I was wrong at my part but it has been a year and I really did do what I was supposed to do.. Why are you still hating me or something?"

"I forgive you but I want to maintain this distance."

"Ok.. So from that day onwards, we were cleared from your memory, forever you won't think about us again?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, bye..."

Ok.. Conversation ended. Lolx. So what do you think? Romantic? Sad? Hilarious? Comedy? Well, let me tell you, to me, neither one. I knew and learnt a lot from this conversation.
I appreciate my friends. I even love some of them. But I have a weakness in me. When I have someone new, I will go all out for he or she just to make them him happy. But at the end, that guy, might say that I am very disgusting, or just dump me aside as if I haven't done anything in his or her life. I have been in this similar situation for 7 times but then, I was young and I just loved to help and get to know new people. So, this is the most recent one where I shower my love and concern as a friend and also as a "brother" but in the end, I get something cold. You know that song Cold As You by Taylor Swift? Well, this song describes a lot about my situation and how I feel. You have a way of coming easily to me and when you take, you take the very best of me.
I regretted being someone so available. I was stupid for trusting that everyone values friendship as I did. Foolish. Naive. Sometimes, just for the new ones, I sacrificed or neglected the old ones. I am sorry. But don't get me wrong, I still like them and still appreciate them but they are not worth so much of my time and attention. I have to go on, keep leaving cause I want to achieve greatness far beyond what I am now.
But, one of my stands still remains:
1. I don't like people who only sms or finds you when they need your help. You know if you are someone like that, you sucks to the grave and it embarrass everyone that cares for you.

2. People who won't or never sms or give you a call but will say that you are his or her best friend, SUCKS. These kind of animals, they only respond when you call them, apart from that, they won't care if your balls fall off or you turn into a niggle all of a sudden. For example, they won't sms you saying HI or show some concern. What they want is for you to automatically find them. Again, sucks.

3. Some friends are just willing to let go of their friendship with others easily no matter how close they used to be. Some even give up their friends for their boyfriends. People like this, you don't deserve to be at the top- of the food chain. You should just eat slugs and slugs and slugs 4ever until you die in the grave of slugs.

Maybe there are more but it slipped through my memory for now...
See you again.

Us against the world... (funny topic)

~Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world
Tonight~

It's has been very confusing lately. Friends come and go, time hasten without limit. Sigh.. Yet the responsibilities on me didn't seem to lessen. Studies, duties... For the first time I find it hard to describe something. Do you know the feeling when you are stuck between something especially when that thing is inexplicable?
I am having this sort of feeling right now.
Once I did think that going to school is an utter waste of valuable time but as things around me started to circulate, I realised that I am totally in a different situation. Now, school times passed quickly, maybe too fast. For some time, I was surrounded by noises and laughters but unknowingly, I am getting more and more lonely. And this time, it's what I desired. I just want to get out of the crowd and be with my own. That kind of feeling is really.... confusing... Sometimes it left me on a certain spot where I find myself in somewhere unknown to me.

Not long ago, I found myself lamenting over my situation where I am not welcomed amongst people around me. But, it's different currently. Too different. I mean, there are some opposite sexes who are interested in me and they wanted to know more about me. Well, if everything went smoothly, there would be no problems but.. but.. haiz.. just but... Well, guys interested in girls or the other way round is something very natural especially for teenagers like us. We tend to have unusual ties with the opposite sex but it would be foolish if we go beyond that boundary. Liking someone is a privilege and it shouldn't be turned into something disastrous. After all, our feeling towards that person doesn't give us any special rights to do things the way we wanted it to be. Basically we are still friends. So, I feel quite troubled when some girls tend to be nicer to me all of a sudden. What I think is that why you have to be like that? We are still and just friends... Don't know why this sort of thing would also bother me... sigh..

One more thing which even more troubling is the coming exam. Before this, I did have the form and mood to study but as it's getting near, I tend to lose everything. Can't and don't feel like studying now. So, sigh.. ...

=ended=

Looking back

Here ends the hectic life. What I love about such competitions is the outcome of it. In the whole process, hectic is something unavoidable and the result of it would be frustration or even the desire to give up.

The clock ticked at a same pace but who knows, it has been ticking since the Earth was formed. 3 weeks have passed. This time, I realise the hastiness and did try to negotiate with the time but the negotiation never took place. It still goes on like before. The first week was U.P 1, following by basketball and ping pong competition then debate competition.

For the first time in my 5 years of secondary life, I did prepare for U.P. I bore in mind that this year is SPM-year, ain't no kidding man. And so I studied with that reminder in mind. I got a a bearable result, 2nd in the class >.^. But then I realised that my friends around me were not slowing down in any way. They were fighting very hard to achieve victory for this coming battle. By knowing that, I felt blessed and honoured to be with them in the same class, at least they can be my pushing force.

After that, it's the basketball competition. Well, this didn't turn out so well. My teammates, 12 of them, didn't really have the heart for training. Well, maybe it's because the training is indeed tough but it's just simply ridiculous if you want to go for competition and yet you don't want to train. So, my mood for this competition wasn't that pleasant. As a way to fill my time with meaningful events, I trained myself, following with me were some of my fellow friends. Candidly speaking, I didn't had much nice time back then, maybe I did increase a bit in my basketball skills.

However, I emphasized a lot in the coming ping pong competition which is just one day after the basketball competition. I trained with Zhen Kai, Eric and Shao Han at the small house opposite my house. We also made our new T-shirt which I liked it a lot. We trained and trained and trained. In the process, of course we understood each other more. Overall I had a pleasant time during the whole training process.

After the ping pong competition, debate preparations owned my entire mind. By then, I was mentally tired. After all those trainings and competitions, I didn't have the will to continue on another sort of competition which needed ample time and preparations. And, this year, except from me, the other two speakers were "green" ones. The first speaker, Dania, was a form 1, the second speaker was Shantini. All of them didn't even know the rules or what to do. You want to know how things turned up to be like that? Well, let me tell you. Usually, there will be two reserves every year. So there were two last year whom will be in the front line this year. But, the two of them, Vivian and Mazrina, they backed out. They gave excuses like this year is SPM, very busy, very nervous kind of bull shit. I was VERY pissed off and it did affect my passion towards this debate competition. But, thanks to Shantini as she was indeed a very good companion, everything turned out to be very well. Though the both of us only had a week together, we talked together as if we were friends for many years. I liked talking to her and she I. We shared our problems to one another, shared our opinion and our likings. So after the competition, we became close friends. We enjoyed each other's company a lot, we even appreciated it. ^^ Never would I thought that I would have a girl friend so close and understanding. Hmmm.. It's nice talking to her.

Well, if you did notice, I was just mentioning the process of those competitions. So let me inform you the results of it.

Basketball- Didn't get anything
Ping Pong- Silver medal for team, Bronze for double and gain friendship
Debate- Didn't win but gained a true friend

So I guess for those three competitions, I enjoyed debate the most, though I failed to get the best speaker or the first or second place.

These are almost everything of these few weeks life.

Goodbye

For the past few weeks, a tiny orange ball kept floating in my head. Its' presence was, then, undeniable. Every time I hold that ball in my palm, I regard it as my friend. I have been together with it for 6 years... 6 long years and it had brought me many sweet memories....

It did it again, for the last time....


I finished my ping pong competition with one silver medal and one bronze medal. It's not about the medals but I can't stop thinking and believing that this would be the last year for me to play in a MSSPP competition. My last year.... And so, it had became my past, my story, one of my play on the stage... It was part of my life back then but now, it escaped away from me, meaning that I have lost a part of my life. Will something new come in to replace it???

I am gonna miss you buddy... I haven't been very grateful to you but no doubt, you presence and place in my heart was, is and will not be replaced. Along with it came the sound of cheers and roars of support. Every year I would be in a hall, filled with blue tables, players from other schools and my buddy would be there. I have tasted victory and failure which taught me a lot in life through my buddy. I have won a state player before... ^^... And, every year, I would have a nice time with my friends and seniors in that hall. Friendship was established through the whole process. Yet, next year onwards, everything ends.....

I miss it...

I miss it...

Part and parcels of life

And so, the match between Seri Nibong and Jit Sin has ended. We lost. We lost terribly. I won't say that we have done enough in this match. As a matter of fact, we didn't do anything that is worth calling "enough". But, a lost is a lost. No point saying that we have overcome ourself, we have confidence.. bla bla bla.. All those emo stuffs won't change the fact, we lost.

Jit Sin was a great team. They were strong, fast and brutal. They owned every rights to win during the match. When I saw the difference between the points getting further, I knew that we would lose for sure. Physically, my team wasn't competent enough. Talking about basketball IQ, we don't have any as we don't have a coach. What's worst is we have many players who can't differentiate between walking and dribbling, including me myself. HAHAHAHA.. ( have to admit it or else people would say that I am proud. )For example, there is one guy on my team, a very cute and adorable one who thinks that he is good enough. Well, as long as you have confidence, we won't say anything. Usually when he plays, he commits many fouls but deny all of them, saying that we are nonsense or bullshitting. Then, during the match, the referee caught him with a foul but he turned to us and asked :"Is that a foul?"
Wakakakakakakaka.. I was infuriated by then but now, thinking back, I can't stop laughing. HAHAHAHAHAA.. So ignorant and stupid... hahahaha.. Well, if any of you know who is this guy, better don't tell him or he will tell the girls.. kakaakakakaka

All right all right. Stop laughing. Excuse me guys...

Now, our lost caused some great deal to some of our players, like Zhen Kai and I. The others I wasn't sure as they just lost last week so they might have been used to it. Zhen Kai and I love basketball and we want to be above other players but, just like my brother said, the situation wasn't friendly to us. So, let it be, we can't do anything about it. But Zhen Kai, he was really down after the game. I can't blame him for that. But I kept telling him and myself, we are better in other prospects. Hehehe.. Maybe by saying that, we can feel better.

This game is just a small fraction of this year. I am going to have my ping pong competition this Wednesday. This, I can win and I will win. LoL. After that, debate competition. All these, seriously, is like having 5 children at the same time, keeping me as busy as I can afford to be. But bear in mind, I still have SPM ahead of me. By having this idea is like a burning flame inside my mind.. I will work hard for it, for my future and for the hope of my family....

Spit it out.. This instant..

Yo! Yo! Yo!
LoL...

All right now... There are quite a number of things that happened last week but it's just that time didn't allow me to post it immediately, resulting in this delay.
Well, as you know, sometimes, when things happened , you can't say anything, at least not there on the spot. You got to say it behind so that there won't be any heart feelings. Sucks... As for me, I can't do that... Just keep myself shut up tight when something "breath-taking" happens in front of me. But I know it better myself than to say it out loud in front of everybody.. That's what I did when I was around 13 14 ( I still like it that way.. Wakakakak).

Things that I want to say:
1) You ain't that "great" yourself.. so, don't show everyone what you think inside your heart or what you feel.. You seriously look terrible when you do so.
2) Hey, don't act as if you are damn nice in front of everyone when actually you are not! It sucks...
3) Smiling to everyone doesn't mean the Sun is bright again.. you get it?
4) Wait a sec, I thought we were friends???
5) Try to speak out what you think sometimes... it's better that way.
6) Try to do things that suit you, please...
7) You will be acknowledged as smart or wise through the way you bring yourself and how you interact with other people.
8) If you really don't like me, or you feel that I am something disgusting, hey, tell it right in front of my black face! You get it?! Right here, I am right here! Lucas ain't going no where... Come on.. Don't say it behind of me and yet show me you damn smile when we meet..



Wow.. nice... Bang!!! I feel great!!!!!

Sigh....

The hasty movement of time indicates and delineates many things to me. It's somehow horrifying to know that something as latent as time exists and is faster than lighting. Consider it as my personal point of view, the feeling of helpless or being unable to make something turns better is showing its presence to me day by day, or worst, its starting to be part of my choice. Time is really too fast. Flash. That's the speed. However, what makes it even faster is that it seems to be slow to everyone, causing one to think that one has plenty of time and thus, tends to waste it. That is what that increase the speed as well as the cruelty of time.
I have this feeling is because I reluctantly but surely feel that I am running out of time. I refuse to allow this idea owns me because I can't accept this fact. Of course, I am trying and urging myself to do my very best with all the obligations around me, suffocating and restricting my every move, directing me onto a narrow path.
Take a close look into my life and you will notice the main elements in me now: studies and basketball. Studies is the main and utmost important task which requires and consume lots of my attention and energy. About basketball, I am having this competition on the 12th of April. To be honest, the outcome of this competition won't be as satisfying as I lied to myself. I know that but many friends of mine are involved and I can't just ignore their request for my involvement. Consider it as my last year in school, I decided to give it my best shot. But in the process of the preparation and training, I find it rather time consuming and the worst is that the time is not consumed in a good manner. Wasted. The time is wasted. I am saying this because basketball, as everyone knows, is a team sport. You basically need 5 players on the floor for the game to commence, not counting the bench players which would sum up to 12. Now the problem that is really causing a serious headache is that the member of the team don't show subordination and discipline. They do not train well, do not show up for practise, do not take heed to advices and they think they are skilful. So every single one of these things sum up and produces nothing but failure. We will definitely lose but, as I mentioned above, I am just doing this under the request of my friends. But I can't deny that I keep impugning over my decision. The question about my realisation of failure ahead of me and yet I am still wasting time to achieve success keeps pondering in my head, unwilling to make a leave. And so, the question still remains, why am I doing this??????

That's one of the thing that is bothering me for the mean while.

Talking about social circle, I admit that I have lost a friend that was once one of my best friends as I considered. But somehow, my involvement in various aspects has placed me in a situation where I tend to neglect him. At the end, he left me without leaving any notes or saying goodbye. Well, I consider it as a basic manner when you are leaving some place without notifying the owner and yet he failed to do so. I place my friends at a high level in my life. Losing one without me knowing it really hurts me a lot. I keep thinking about him, the factors that contribute to the happening of this event. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months have passed without me not thinking about him. As a candid statement, I tormented myself a lot. But in the end, the words of God are the best. I was reading Proverbs until I realised a verse that relieved me a lot. The verse said, 1)how long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge? (Proverbs 1:22) 2) because I have called and you refused, have stretched out my hand and no one heeded (Proverbs 1:24) 3) I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when panic strikes you (Proverbs 1:26) 4) Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but will not find me. ( Proverbs 1:28).
And so, a remedy presented itself right in front of me. I grinned at this verse, thanking this awesome God at the same time. Amen... This is what I will do when he seeks my help in the time to come....

Academically, the exam is arriving next week. Study... Study... Study... I think that's all I have to do. Hard-working, diligent, perpetual efforts... Though it seems quite simple, following all these virtues is definitely something tough....

And so, I end this post with my blessings to those who are facing the same predicaments as I am, hoping that they would get their own solutions for their respective problems...

Inexplicable

Things we encounter... Some we understand, some we don't... Out of curiosity, we seek for the answer... Some spent years looking for one answer and yet failed in the end...
Such failure will result in desperation or self-condemnation... Some couldn't take it so they commit suicide... Some are so disappointed that they give up hope on everything... And thus, everything ends in a sad ending...

Are we one of them????
You see, there are some things or phenomena which couldn't be explained by human beings. We thought we were smart and intelligent which at the end resulted in obstinacy. We were blinded by our intelligence and knowledge. We thought we were above the others and so answers are everywhere. We thought wrong.

Those things which even the smart ones couldn't explain, those are the INEXPLICABLE.
I am not trying to stand here and tell everyone that I have enough experience to share this but I did meet some of this "questions" in my life...

Sometimes you are as if in a lost... why???
No matter how hard you work for it or how good you are, you still can't get it... why???
Some people they make their own reasons or philosophy just to cover their mistakes... why????
Some people would willingly show a fake smile to you everyday... why???
People love money a lot.. why???
I would rather read or do other things than to read a Bible... why???
Some friends are able to just ignore you for as long as it is... why???
Some people wouldn't even take or consider your advise... why???
Some people only think for their own benefits... why???
Some people think they are right in any way... why???
Some people would sacrifice friendship for love.. why???

well.. actually there are more.. but it's so happen I can't figure it out instantaneously... Some of you might think that the above questions have certain answers... but to me, those answers are simply... unimportant... Some things, even when you have an answer, you won't be satisfied with it, or, that answer will lead to another question....

Those.. are the inexplicable....

March Holiday

So, anything special or unique for this one-week-holiday??
I guess not...
Owning to the fact that I have my obligations to tie me down, other plans of entertainment and leisure would have to be put aside. My main objectives for this week is to study, especially for my Chemistry and Ekonomi Asas. For now, these two subjects are my weakness and of course, I will have a remedy to fix things up.
Apart from academic obligations, my ping pong competition, which is just around the corner, has also kept my feet on a busy pace. Training is all that requires but at a high demand. The ideal way of training is everyday but sometimes, laziness and other things which requires my attention caused me to neglect such discipline training. Feel remorse and sad but can't seek for a solution.

Consider it a personal point of view of mine but don't get the wrong idea that this week would be full of pain and agony for me. No! I won't let myself suffer. For me, it's also a week and, a better word, opportunity for me to foster good friendship with other people. I planned to do some studying in the library for about 4 hours. In that way, I would be able to revise my homework as well as have some interaction with my friends. Somehow, studying is indeed tiring and boring but they can be quite pleasant if there is someone there to accompany you. Try having a friend beside you, studying seriously together. The feeling is totally different. But, of course, the criteria of friends must be of good quality or at least willing to sacrifice their time to get a better result.

I guess these two aspects would be more than enough to occupy the whole week. At the mean time, I did wonder what my other friends are up to. Some of them are busy with the concert which is to be held in Pai Teik. Well, unfortunately I show no interest in it so there won't be my share there. There are also some who have totally disappeared into thin air. Well, I don't really care about that. =.=""

Exam is approaching in a fortnight. I don't really have any request for myself, just that I hope and pray I can do my best. As for my parents, they not pester me a lot as they, too, demands the best from me. That's all. Thus, as a whole, I don't really have any external pressure pressing my entire body. I just study for my personal interest and for my future.

I guess that's all for this week.. Stay tuned...

Lameness RULE

Today, a new kingdom is born . The politics of this kingdom is simple. It consists of a king and a general. That's all. Simple?? Yes. Useless?? Definitely not as this kingdom has gained many territories in just one day.

Introducing, the unique, the powerful, the mighty kingdom: LAMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well~ The name of that kingdom is Lameness. Everything is built on lameology. The king is known as Lame King and the general is Lame General. Despite the peculiar name, the king is wise and brutal. He would seize any chances available to conquer a nation. The nations which I meant are among us. The nations which I really meant are the emotions, situation, circumstances and outcome of a certain event. Whenever something is wrong, Lame King would be there, with Lame General at his side to command and conquer.

Never!!! Never underestimate his power and wisdom for either you or I would be conquered easily in a swift. You might say that I have overestimated his power and abilities. Thus, let me share with you an experience whereby I lost everything I have to Lame King.

ONCE upon a time, in a far far away country, known as Malaysia, in a small small city, known as Penang, in a very very small town, known as Nibong Tebal, Lame King decided to appear once more in public after being in solitude for a considerable duration. The first target of his is in SMKSN. To his opinion, this place, or known as "school" by the earthly being, has lots of potential for him to establish his lame policy. He likes it. Oh yes, he likes it a lot. As long as lame blood is running in his lame veins,lame artery and lame capillary, he was determined to conquer this planet Earth and make it into planet LAME. Having this idea in his mind always made him smile lamely.

And so, after waiting and waiting for the correct opportunity, he discovered that a young innocent boy who has the tendency to be his second Lame General was in the school. Never miss an opportunity, he said to himself. Thus, he dispatched his best lame troops, known as the Unbeatable Lames, to follow and extract information concerning this young boy.

Reports were quick to his knowledge. He found out that not long after there would be an event where lame beings will be running and jumping around on a green carpet. He also knew that the lame Sun would be there as an audience. By knowing that, he was eager to prove his power and might to the lame Sun. So, without further consideration, he called out for his general, "Lame General, I, the Lame King, has a lame task for lame you. Will lame you accept it with lameness?" " I will be lame to accept it, my all mighty lame Lord," answered the general lamely. And so, he rode his black lame horse out to accomplish his task. For your information, the task was to conquer this boy's heart and turn it into lameness. The general knew that this is something simple which he would carry out easily and claim his rewards. He grinned lamely.

He, then, went into the compounds of the school. He felt happy at his first glance. The weather was lamely hot. He was happy. Earthly beings were sitting in the canteen doing nothing but feeling boring and lame. He was happy. Everything seemed suitable for him to take action but he reminded himself what the Lame King ordered him to do. He seek for the boy and spotted him immediately.

He saw the boy going to the opposite side of the green carpet and spoke to a teacher who was in a lame mood. He was again, happy. He listened to boy attentively, surprised that the boy didn't notice his presence. He then discovered that the boy was supposed to do some running competition today but the teacher didn't allow him to because there was a substitution made. The other guy who was substituting him didn't attend any practises or any tryouts. The boys felt down and disappointed. The general was happy to know that cause these were the important elements for lameness.

Not long after that, the boy went to take a white box and a rectangular box. The general was curious were those boxes, will they jeopardise his mission???

His worries was replaced with satisfaction after knowing that the white and rectangular box consisted only of food and drinks which Earthly beings needed for their body, like a battery.

Suddenly, another Earthly being stood in the boys way. The general found out that that being was a woman. The "woman" ordered the boy to return the boxes because it wasn't the correct time to consume this food. The boy was surprised and started to explain that other people were doing the same thing. He also said that he has pictures of people eating as a prove. Then, the woman gave him a fake smile and returned to her original expression. The boy felt disgusted and walked off, without showing anything to her. The general felt anger and outraged within the boy. He was again, happy. Things are proceeding as planned.

The boy finished up his "battery" and went playing basketball with his other friends. Lame General waited with endurance for everything to over because he understood that the boy loved that game a lot.

After about 3 hours, the Lame General thought that it was time to act. He took out his lame sword and ran into war inside the boy.

After a bloody war, the general was inside the boy's heart, manipulating it. Upon that, the boy sat down and said, " Today is really lame. Wasted my time. I feel lame."

-Mission accomplished-

3rd route.

What do you know?

In a blink of eye, the chores and works of the day have brought us standing, facing to the end of February. What have we done this month? Did we appreciate time??? Did time appreciate our company???

February isn't the only thing that seems to be fading away, the songs of 2010's Chinese New Year is going be put a stop too. Usually, when an object moves ahead, other things around would appear to be moving back wards if they are stationary. But now it's different. Time is the one moving ahead without hesitation and showing no mercy to the one who didn't appreciate it. Are we, or, am I the one running beside time with acceleration or constant velocity??? Or am I lagging behind? This subject has placed me into pondering for many times. Worries was the outcome. Why is that every time I think about my progress I won't have the satisfaction??? Maybe it's the nature of mankind who are never satisfied or contented over their achievement. If that's the problem, I might as well forget about it.

Standing and waiting at the doorstep of March, I suddenly feel afraid and a little embarrass to knock on the door. The main thing I am afraid about is to know who might be the one opening the door, allowing me to enter and walk a long path of 31 days. However, a little courage was required to take the first step. All I would do, for now, is to stand at the first entrance, asking myself which route to take, which risks to abandon. This the worst part. Terrifying by my own choice, I tend to resort to another less better route. I tend to escape. The alternate and only route to escape is by doing lame things which is never beneficial. That, would be detrimental in general. Thus, while knocking at the doorstep, I have placed the fullest determination in me to be brave and wise at all cost. No matter how hard or tough the road may be, it would not deter me from my progress.

And thus is the premonition and promise I have for myself before entering the door...

FIRST BLOOD

Today in school was a total waste of time. out of nine periods, six periods were without teacher. Gosh... Lame.. Six!!! And that is for about 5 hours. Terrible. I spent most of time sleeping with Brandon and Thomas. Don't get the wrong idea that we are lazy. We were just exhausted due to the hectic schedule we had yesterday. Talking about yesterday, I was really busy and tired. After school, I went to tuition which left me around 30mins of rest. After tuition, I went straight to my school for the house practise. I was selected to run for 4 X 100m. Well, it wasn't just ere running. I ran a lot. I continued on playing basketball and by the time everything came to anend, I was soulless. My leg was injured and I didn't feel like doing anything that night. And so that's why I slept a lot at school this morning.

Then, I read my story book which I brought there: Eldest. It is a great book which is an extension of the book Eragon. I covered about 100 pages today, satisfied.

I experienced some phenomena today, causing me to feel disgusted. I told myself, friends could be so disappointing at some times. I thought about my two friends whom I thought were close to me and yet by fact they are actually very far from where I am. Trying hard to push those thoughts aside, I concentrated on my first lesson of the day : Add Math.

And so, after that one and only beneficial lesson I had for the day, time flew. From 11.10am to 10.15pm.

All right, for your information, today is Tze Yang's birthday. Tze Yang is my new friend I encountered at the start of this year, which was not long ago. Thought the duration doesn't seem to be convincing, our friendship extended far beyond anybody's imagination. He is a simple guy and appreciates help from friends. This characters of his really pleases me a lot. Some people, or you can say friend, they don't CARE how much you help them. As long as you intentionally or accidentally offend them, they would be your enemy at all costs. Such people are suitable for only one word: NoOob. This was one of the things that I was thinking about ealier. But this Tze Yang, he is totally different which allows him to earn my respect and concern as a friend. And so, while he is a true friend to me, I thought of ways to celebrate for him. It so happen that today he has tuition near my place which ends at 10.15pm. So I got everything prepared, including informing his mum secretly to fetch him a little bit late for the surprise party I planned.

When the time arrived, everything went smoothly. The were all together four of us who celebrated with him: Thomas, Brandon, Xin Kai and I. Too bad Yik Xiang couldn't join us. His mum insisted that he returned home early. Sad~

We ate the ice cream cake with fun and joy. We made jokes around and everyone enjoyed it. Later on we had a game to determine who is the noob one. KAKA... We switched on the computer. The game which we bet on was Defend of the Ancient. KAKA.. The rule is that who couldn't get first blood in 5 mins would be called NOOB. KAKA.. And so we played. The mode is aromneng.. ( dota kaki can only understand this ^^ )

Xin Kai got Chen, Holy Knight. HAHAAHAHAHAHA... He was complaining and whining but we didn't care about it. KAKAKA.. And so after 5 mins, he didn't get anything. HAHA... NOOB number 1!!!

Then it's my turn. I got Nerubian Assassin. Great hero for quick shot. I got first blood in 3 mins. HAHA.. pro pro pro

Then it was Thomas's turn to play. Brandon and I were like sniggering behind him. Hehe.. He got Tiny. Fortunately, he obtained double damage and with his arcane ring, he got first blood within 5 minutes.

Then Tze Yang. He wasn't that good but we didn't laughed or said anything as worst as what we said to Xin Kai. He, too, didn't get first blood.

Now the last one, Brandon. HAHA.. This guy is proud of his skill on this game. He even have the confidence to win FX. Ignorance. haha.. Things turned out differently. He got Tiny, like Thomas but he was first blooded. You got the meaning?? He was killed instead of him killing the enemy. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.. VERY FUNNY!!!!!! Supper noob!!!!!!!!!

But there weren't any competitive motion among us, we just did it for fun.

Too bad, time waits for no one. It was time for us to head home and so we surrendered.

We had great time together though the duration wasn't that satisfying. On the way home, I had some thoughts. This friend, I just know for about 2 months and yet he can be so nice and good. Instead, other friends who know me for about 5 or 8 years, didn't care at all for what I do or whether I am dead or alive. Nah~ Those are useless friends. In times of joy, their existence could be very significant but in times of sorrow and help, they couldn't be seen . It's a shame that I wasted my time and trust for people like them.

Well, those were the days when I was young and naive....

Things we do... People we know

Chinese New Year.

The reunion dinner was great, only that the dishes were really too much. But none of them taste bad. hahaha...

Now is the first day of CNY. Going to KL later at 6am. Quite looking forward to it.

I just came back from my friends home. First, I went to Jun Kai's house. Actually, I wasn't invited to his house. It's just that I went to Suan Khai's house and it so happened he was on his way to Jun Kai's house. And so I went along. Fortunately, I was welcomed warmly cause I really did feel bad by going uninvited. Well, I haven't been to his house before and so I was quite anxious. The first thing that shocked me was my popularity among his family. Gosh!!! His mother and sister knew me!!! Funny~ I can't believe me. They were like, oh this is Lucas. Wakakaka. How did they know me? It's still an unanswered question. ^^

We had a great time there. I met up with Jian Hao and Yu Bin. All together there were 9 of us but the number did not deter Jun Kai's lovely mother to welcome us like we were VIP's. We ate steamboat there. Once again, I ate the most. WAkakaka... His mother's cooking was superb. The only thing I regretted about was that I already had my dinner. T.T

After a good meal, all of us decided to go over to Suan Kai's house. And so, some of us ride motorcycles and some of them cycle bicycles. Again, we had great fun there but this time we didn't eat anything. Instead, we talked a lot. That's when I started to really know Jian Hao and Yu Bin even though we had been in the same school for the past 4 years. I regretted for my actions over the past few years. I took them as "pondan" and by doing so, I hardly respected them. That was a wrong thing to do but somehow that was me back then. After the gathering at Suan Kai's house, I get to know that actually they are nice friends, especially Jian Hao. I couldn't believe that he was so warm and nice. Haha. I made a mistake which I am quite sure I won't repeat again.

Then, we went outside, going around aimlessly . It was about 11.30pm then. We were afraid that parents would not be so happy if go home late so we headed home. Everyone went home except for Thomas, Eric and I. With me fetching Eric, we went to Jalan Victoria by going through Jalan Atas. That route was definitely dark. We were intimidated by the sudden darkness but our curiosity got the better of us. After that road only I knew that there was a new residential area by the name of Taman Victoria. Funny, that name was nostalgic. I was suddenly trapped in EmoNESS but just for a split second. It's behind me, I should let go. Hehehe..

Upon that, we put a stop for our trip.

It was 12am.......

^^

Even though there was something big today in my school, my mood was the same, before and after the whole thing. I didn't feel exceptionally happy or sad, just .... cold.

I brought my piano to the school. Again, everyone gave me that peculiar and unfriendly look. I was used to it, so I wasn't bothered.

The "motivasi" talk was useless. Seriously, I can go on-line and get more information than that lady gave us. Total waste of time. Never mind, let's skip that lame part. ..

Then the singing competition started. The P.A system was terrible. My school is total lameness so everything inside is also total lameness. The mikes were problematic. Nah~ Skip that also. My turn to present, with some of my friends. I thought I could have a nice presentation but my piano turned out to be quite terrible. The sound was "geli" and not as I expected. Whatever~ I just did my best, I knew it wasn't enough. Haiz. One thing I am proud of, is for Yineng. He had improved a lot. I still remembered that day when I asked him whether he wanted to learn guitar. He was still hesitating until I urged him to learn. And so he did . After two years, he can play like a star on the stage. I am really proud of him felt happy for him at the same time. But I knew pretty well that the main reason he wanted to be on the stage was because of one major person.... hehehe.. right Neng??? ^^

And so... Everything went smoothly.

After everything, we got the third. I wasn't at all pleased with it. If only we have an acoustic piano with us, I would ruled. hahahahaha.. And yet, we let a small girl get the champion.. lame.. T.T

So that's all.. haha..

Thanks everyone....

Hillary: I would always believe in you.. don't worry. hahaha

Funny?

Tomorrow would be this Merentas Desa held by my school. For the past few years, I didn't treat this seriously but owing to the fact that it is my last year here, I planned to do my best this year.

I ain't no expert in running long distance but I know that practise makes perfect. HAHA! I planned to take some jogging this evening after accounts tuition. OK.. And so that's what I did. Around 5.45pm, I was ready, dressed in sports suit, shoes comfortable and ready, watch in my wrist. Thomas was with me too as he also wanted to do his best this year. And so as I started the stopwatch, we ran. I feel inspired at the first stage.

Not long after that, drops of sweat appeared on my forehead and my back. Heat conquered my entire body. But that wasn't the main problem. Most importantly, exhaustion was on the way too. Only then I regretted beginning this run. I have just finished about 2 rounds of the field in front of my house and I am as tired as an old man. Could that possibly the level of my stamina? Could that be? Wow.. I am that week... >.<

Thomas was doing well. He ran perpetually for five rounds without even panting. If it wasn't for the rain, I am sure that he could do better. After a few more runs for me, my leg's muscle started to harden. I don't know the scientific name for it but I am sure that it wasn't muscle cramp as I didn't feel the ache. It was right then when the rain started to fall. How nice. Haha. And so, in a condition where I am down for my lousy reputation and feeling uncomfortable with my leg, we headed home. The idea of getting a medal for tomorrow's cross country running had immediately disappeared into thin air. Sad.. But fact still is the fact, I gave up on that ridiculous idea.

So it's just Thomas alone to do the running. I am sure he can get the medal, not necessarily the first place. I am also sure that he felt quite disappointed because I won't be running together with him tomorrow. It seems to him that he has to do it on his own which I think he refuses to. But I urge him to not give up, grab that medal for the last time in the last year, don't waste it. He reluctantly agreed.

Everything went normal..................

............................................................

............................................................

....... 10.45pm......

We were at Kanggo's house, wanted to have a few words with him. All right. Now, I was riding my motorcycle, fetching Thomas there. As soon as we reached his house, I automatically stopped my bike and get down, so did Thomas. But I heard some moaning behind me. I turned and saw that Thomas was holding his leg. What on the blast happened? I guess you guys know about the exhaust pipe on a bike? Well, it's normally hot after riding the motor. Unfortunately, Thomas landed his leg right onto it.....

=.="

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So there was a burnt sign on his leg and according to him, it was really, really painful.

Ok. Now, the both of us can't run tomorrow... Funny????

Behold, the end of January

I just watched a NBA video concerning the match between D-Wade and King James. Both of them were spectacular! Both get the same points at the night - 32. Just awesome! Look the way they go... I think only the both of them really love playing ball together. I just love it when the both of them just trying to do their stuffs. Incredible.

But of course, I didn't post this blog just because of them. lol. I am here for another motive. As you all have noticed, or maybe haven't yet, January is slipping off. The end of January is creeping it's way in without approval of anyone, especially from me. I don't like this feeling. The first month of the year is ending. Have anyone noticed it? Or it's just me being stupid and uninformed about that? It's indeed hard to realise and take notice as everyday seems to be the same, except that my timetable at school is different but the mood there is always the same. Without school and tuitions, what could possibly make the difference between Monday and Tuesday? It sounds creepy but it's the only fact.

Things haven't changed much for this month. The teachers are still boring as ever. Now, it's even worse. There is one teacher of mine who can teach quite well. Instead, she starts to give out money to those who wants to answer her question. Funny... I don't think that's the only remedy to attract students' attention, is it? But for this year, I am quite satisfied with myself as I am doing fairly with my studies. At least not like last year where everything took place in the very last minute. I just hated the feeling but factors around me obliged me to do so. Sad....

With this month ending, I guess I have to appreciate every seconds I have. I am very certain that February would pass even faster than ever. The CNY holidays would mean nothing but the flying of the time. And bear in mind that February has only 28 days. Jeez.. Soon later, all those competitions and school exam will come. Time would fly even faster. Thus, it's quite obvious that SPM is really dead ahead. Haiz..

So what can you say about it? It's indeed a tough task to maintain as a young innocent teenager while the idea of the official exam keeps ringing in your mind. One friend of mine did remind me that I shouldn't forget to enjoy my teenage time even though SPM is at my door. Yeah, it's right but somehow I find it hard to achieve that. I keep reminding myself not to be nerd or something similar than that. Perhaps I have to put in more effort into it.

All I can say, if you guys are Form 5 as well, study hard but don't lose yourself or do something betraying your friends but only benefits yourself. Studies bring forth knowledge. There are the dark side and also the good side of knowledge and unfortunately the power to choose which side is in our grasps. Knowledge is something genuine, something nice. Don't misuse it or do whatever including terrible stuffs just to get the knowledge. Try to enjoy the process and you might find that studying is something very nice apart from being a mere responsibility. Good luck

THE SUN

The start of this week, I said to myself that I want it to be my study week. ( Sounded so nice and determined at the beginning.)
The funny thing is that when I don't have such idea in my mind, I would study automatically but once I set this target, I slacked down and tend to get very lazy. But of course, today is just the starting of this week.
I felt ashamed of myself for failing my own target. However, there are still other factors that needed to be counted in consideration. For instance, the weather. The scorching Sun was, is and will be as terrible as the shit in my ASS!!!! What sort of weather is this?! It only spells TERRIBLE! The heat can directly go into our brain and torture us out of our humanity. That was what happened to me when I used Panda in a DOTA game. There was a slight pain in my head that really detracted from the enjoyment of anything. I lost that game but it was as if I lost my life with it. Not because of the game but because of that heat doing something in my brilliant head. Jeez.. That Panda I used was also facing trouble from Night Stalker. hehe.. He shouted terribly while fighting with it. Poor thing.. kakaka
So, today is Monday. I really do hope that it would only be today that the weather is so devastating. Of course, I didn't mean for the Sun to disappear into thin air. Just .... not so hot... Please or I will blame myself for setting such a stupid target which only nerds could achieve it...


Here, have some pictures of the hot Sun..

2010

This the second day I am in school.
Today I did many studying in my class, alone. The setting of my new class has the tendency to force me to study and study and study. Don't take me wrongly. It's not that my classmates are very diligent but honestly, apart from the guy beside me, I don't think there are any other people that would talk to me. hehe.. sounds like I am a bad guy, eh??? hehehehehe....
I studied my Sejarah and managed to finish up chapter one today. Felt satisfied.
I had Sivik in my time table today, the last two periods of the day. Surprisingly, the headmaster is my teacher for this particular subject. So it seems the mischief I did last year during Sivik lessons have to be put a stop.
The funny thing was that the headmaster seemed to be a story teller than a teacher. He kept telling psychological stuffs which were very boring indeed. And so, I allowed my thoughts to wander far far away from that premise.

I am form 5 now, 17 in age. Not too small yet not too big. kaka.. at least that's what the Chinese said. However, I am sitting for an official exam at the end of this year. Look how "small" am I??? Phew.. The feeling of this exam isn't that good but in the mean time, it isn't that bad. I am pretty sure that this year would pass in a blink of eye. Why would I say so?? Cause the same thing happened last year. I was so busy with school, studies, tuitions, church activities and my sports till I can't even know that 2009 is over. The feeling was terrifying. And all these aspects would maintain the same in amount but for studies, it would definitely add up more. So, I guess I am right that time will FLY.

Sitting on my chair, my body's there but the spirit wasn't, as if in a trance. Yet the headmaster continued on his "teaching". My thoughts landed on a year when I am 18 in age. That would be next year. That would be my day away from Sri Nibong. Honestly, I can't wait for that day to come! I was hungry and still am for a new environment. I want things to be different this time! New friends, new teachers, new thoughts... I just love it and dread for it.
Most probably I will continue my studies to form 6 next year. Thinking about next year, I started to think how would my SPM result be??? haha.. I am sure my brother would call me nerdy for this but sadly that's how I am. The thought of getting straight A's did occur to me ; so is no A at all. But lately I have been in touch with some friends who are now 19 in age. I discovered that it's not exactly necessary for us to get straight A's for SPM, of course, that's the ideal piece of magic. Even though you get all A's, you might be in the same class with students who only got 4 or 5 A's. That's the funny part. Wondering, I finally got to know that it's because this SPM is not recognize by other countries so it's not that important afterall. But of course, don't get straight 9G la.. hahaha..
By thinking so, I felt that the burden on my shoulders did lessen a bit. I guess all I can put is my best at the front line, see whether God accepts it.