Lesson

I haven't returned to this blog for a considerable amount of time. I can say about 2 months. When one is having many things in mind which are needed to be accomplished, he certainly doesn't have any remaining time for blogging.
Looking back at those months, nothing really great happened except for today. What makes today so special is the outcome which is not really what I presumed it to be. I have been waiting for "today" for about a year. The funny things is, I couldn't believe that my patience was this good. I keep reading about how a guy waits for a girl for 8 or 10 years in those Chinese novels, some even 50 years. Haha.. Well, when I was reading that paragraph, I laughed inside my heart and said that this is ridiculous. However, I have waited for this day for one year and let me assure you, I haven't wait for something for so long.

This afternoon I conducted a inter-club ping pong competition. I sort of conducted it because I am the chairman of this Ping Pong Club in my school. It wasn't very hard to do. Luckily I got all the help I needed and so all the preparations smoothen up. Everything turned out quite well as a whole, nothing much to complain about. This sounds normal but it's not for me, because she was there. She was one of the referees which will help me record down those points.

So when everything was near completion, I decided to talk to her alone. And so that's what I did. Below are the question and answers as well.

"Hey, don't you think that it's a waste for us to just ignore each other since we once had fun together for quite some time??"

"No."

"So, does it mean that you don't care at all for our friendship that we had last year?"

"Yes, I don't really care."

"Wow.. erm.. Didn't you take us as one of your best friends?"

"No. You are just my sister's friends."

"You know, it's quite hurting to hear someone that we appreciate saying this..."

"...." ( No responds )


"Ok.. So... Do you want to start it all over again?"

"No."

"Come on, I know that I was wrong at my part but it has been a year and I really did do what I was supposed to do.. Why are you still hating me or something?"

"I forgive you but I want to maintain this distance."

"Ok.. So from that day onwards, we were cleared from your memory, forever you won't think about us again?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, bye..."

Ok.. Conversation ended. Lolx. So what do you think? Romantic? Sad? Hilarious? Comedy? Well, let me tell you, to me, neither one. I knew and learnt a lot from this conversation.
I appreciate my friends. I even love some of them. But I have a weakness in me. When I have someone new, I will go all out for he or she just to make them him happy. But at the end, that guy, might say that I am very disgusting, or just dump me aside as if I haven't done anything in his or her life. I have been in this similar situation for 7 times but then, I was young and I just loved to help and get to know new people. So, this is the most recent one where I shower my love and concern as a friend and also as a "brother" but in the end, I get something cold. You know that song Cold As You by Taylor Swift? Well, this song describes a lot about my situation and how I feel. You have a way of coming easily to me and when you take, you take the very best of me.
I regretted being someone so available. I was stupid for trusting that everyone values friendship as I did. Foolish. Naive. Sometimes, just for the new ones, I sacrificed or neglected the old ones. I am sorry. But don't get me wrong, I still like them and still appreciate them but they are not worth so much of my time and attention. I have to go on, keep leaving cause I want to achieve greatness far beyond what I am now.
But, one of my stands still remains:
1. I don't like people who only sms or finds you when they need your help. You know if you are someone like that, you sucks to the grave and it embarrass everyone that cares for you.

2. People who won't or never sms or give you a call but will say that you are his or her best friend, SUCKS. These kind of animals, they only respond when you call them, apart from that, they won't care if your balls fall off or you turn into a niggle all of a sudden. For example, they won't sms you saying HI or show some concern. What they want is for you to automatically find them. Again, sucks.

3. Some friends are just willing to let go of their friendship with others easily no matter how close they used to be. Some even give up their friends for their boyfriends. People like this, you don't deserve to be at the top- of the food chain. You should just eat slugs and slugs and slugs 4ever until you die in the grave of slugs.

Maybe there are more but it slipped through my memory for now...
See you again.