Monday, June 13, 2011

This or that leh~~~

Half of 2011 has passed.
Quick enough.
Meaningful enough??? Uncertain....

I am currently at a cross-road. At first, my heart was quite settled for Tasmania, Ocean Engineering in Australian Maritime College. But then, my mum heard from many people about the job prospect of this course. After some consideration, my mum requested that I put some thoughts whether or not to have a change in mind. Well, to be honest, I wasn't quite so happy when I heard that. But then, I knew my mum's concern and worries and so I started to reconsider. If I am not mistaken, I took approximately one week to achieve something.
I agreed to change my course into Chemical Engineering.
Now, this might sound weird for those who know me more.
For your information, my Chemistry SUX to the core. Nevertheless, I still got an A for my SPM. HAHA xD. And now I have agreed to take Chemical Engineering as my degree course and also, my future career. Funny? Without a second though, yes, funny indeed.
But then, I told my mum, with much determination, that I have decided and I was ready to take up this course.
My mum was quite happy to hear that. Knowing that she was happy, I was happy too. ^^
Then there was another problem.
Where to???
I have two options, either Monash University or Curtin University.
Guys, any opinions???

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Not Pro Enough

If you do follow my blog often, you might realize that I have changed my title (Not Pro Enough)..
It might sound funny for some people who are older than me. Nevertheless, I feel that I am inadequate. I lack something, or maybe many things. This flaw in me has stopped me from becoming someone greater than what I am now, I might say someone that I am supposed to be.
Pretty messed up in my mind now...
Yet I just have this feeling and urge to continue on this post..
Cause there's no one for me to confide in...
I know, I crave, I want to be a successful person in whatever I do, though knowing pretty well that it's rather impossible for someone to be perfect in all ways.
When I was young, I often had a kind of feeling where some part of me wished to just jump out. Just jump out. You get the meaning? Whatever that I was doing then, some part of me just felt like jumping out and do better.
At the first stage, I literally ignored it. But now, as I am getting bigger, more exposure here in Penang, I seriously feel it in me. It's like a sound or some invisible force pushing every part of my body to go forward, to achieve something, to be someone great.
And, whenever I failed to do so, I blamed myself a lot.
That's why I feel that I am not good enough, yet. In whatever I do, I am not good enough. I am supposed to be better.. better...


I will be better..