Merry Christmas everyone..
So many hours spent in the church.
So many hours spent with the same group of people.
Time is really something magnificent.
Some says that it is the best remedy of life. Some says that it can only disrupt.
But I say that it can create.
A group of young people around the age of 12 to 15 has been main social scenery recently. We had been spending quality time together preparing for the coming Christmas.
We danced, we acted, we sang.
Sounds great huh???
NO! It was very exhausting. VERY!
I was caught exhausted and out of temper at times. I regretted them.
Yet, the passing of time had built up our bonding. Together, we fell and stood up again. Together, we were sad and happy. Together, we smiled and threw tantrum. For the past two weeks, we did so many things together.
All that we prepared, was for 23rd and 24th night.
In other words, Christmas brought us together. God brought us together.
I sincerely thank God for that.
As everything is moving pass our current position, I start to feel and know that I will miss this bunch of teenagers.
I love them as who they are and who they were. Nevertheless, will I be able to see what they will be?
There're something that I want to say to them.
To Michelle >>> 遵守神的教导是你的优点。继续保持。适当的时候，学习放开自己，不要被自己捆绑；适当的时候，学习约束自己，不要让自己成了自己的绊脚石。对的时候做，想，说，对的事情，便是成熟。
To 美瑜>>> 负责任的价值观一向来都被你重视。你是一个有主见，有意见的人。学习发表。你被很多个人因素捆绑着。学习释放自己，你就会如鹰展翅
To 梓豪 >>> 脚踏实地是你所缺。在新的一年的来临，自己应该花点时间想想自己要的是什么，想的是什么。一天过一天的习惯，是时候改了。中学生涯，就只剩两年。
To Marcus>>> Your enthusiasm and thirst for improvement is much appreciated. Nevertheless, neutrality should be practiced at all times. After all, running is too hasty; crawling is too gradual.
To 美靖 >>> 对于即将远去的你，我感到忧虑。担心你会变坏或变得不受教。记住，聪明智慧是神给我们的礼物。不要滥用这份礼物，也不要过于重视这份礼物。毕竟，一山还有一山高。到了中学读书，不要忘记在高渊和美里默默为你祈祷的我们。
To 雪琦 >>> 很多时候，你都是停留在十字路口，不知所措。到了中二，新的一年，希望你能清楚去思考你自己本身的意义，并且提高对自己的要求。我希望你能有出淤泥而不染的一天。
这些都是我对你们的肺腑之言。然而，忠言逆耳，倘若有冒犯之处，还请恕吾如实相告之罪。 :)
Monday, December 24, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Holding the present, seeking the future.
As 2012 is coming to an end, I realize that my time as a student is gradually fading away as well.
The first two months back in Nibong Tebal had passed hastily. Most of my time had been filled with teaching, be it academic or music. The experience was great and rewarding. I don't regret for what I had been doing. However, I do hope to put up a new life for remaining two months ahead of me.
What should I do?
After another two months, which I am confident will pass pretty quickly, I will be on a plane back to Miri again. Back to my life as a student again. Ever since I took my first step on the land of Miri, my life has been split into two, one in East Malaysia, another in West Malaysia. For now, I have no idea which one suits me better or which one do I like more. As one of my friend had told me before, the grass on the other side is always greener. True.
Time is, yet again, running. As the Sun goes down, the stars go up. This whole system seems to be repeating itself perpetually yet the things and people around me do not seem to be the same every day. A friend today might be a stranger tomorrow. The inability to take control over time have made me feel helpless. There are so many things which I hope to accomplish but time is lacking.
If I were to fast forward to a few years from now, my friends and I will be leading a very different life. How different? How far will we deviate from our original form?
So many unknowns. So many variables. Yet, only God knows the actual equation of our life. An equation which will, eventually, equal to something.
Sigh..
What would it be if all of us have stayed in Never Land? Will it be better? Or worse?
In short, I can say that I am unwilling to participate in the race. I would rather lose without giving up a fight. Yet when I am on the track, I will never give up. I want to be be the best.......
The first two months back in Nibong Tebal had passed hastily. Most of my time had been filled with teaching, be it academic or music. The experience was great and rewarding. I don't regret for what I had been doing. However, I do hope to put up a new life for remaining two months ahead of me.
What should I do?
After another two months, which I am confident will pass pretty quickly, I will be on a plane back to Miri again. Back to my life as a student again. Ever since I took my first step on the land of Miri, my life has been split into two, one in East Malaysia, another in West Malaysia. For now, I have no idea which one suits me better or which one do I like more. As one of my friend had told me before, the grass on the other side is always greener. True.
Time is, yet again, running. As the Sun goes down, the stars go up. This whole system seems to be repeating itself perpetually yet the things and people around me do not seem to be the same every day. A friend today might be a stranger tomorrow. The inability to take control over time have made me feel helpless. There are so many things which I hope to accomplish but time is lacking.
If I were to fast forward to a few years from now, my friends and I will be leading a very different life. How different? How far will we deviate from our original form?
So many unknowns. So many variables. Yet, only God knows the actual equation of our life. An equation which will, eventually, equal to something.
Sigh..
What would it be if all of us have stayed in Never Land? Will it be better? Or worse?
In short, I can say that I am unwilling to participate in the race. I would rather lose without giving up a fight. Yet when I am on the track, I will never give up. I want to be be the best.......
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
BACK TO PENANG!
秒针分针滴答滴答在心中
我的眼光闪烁闪烁好空洞
我的心跳扑通扑通的阵阵悸动
haha...
This is the first time I blog while I am in an airport. To be more exact, I am currently in KLIA. It's been quite some time since I visited this building. Upon landing, my first comment for it was, it's huge. After entering the building, I said, IT'S EXTREMELY GIGANTIC.
Walking from one end to another is sufficient to make me sweat profusely. Well, maybe cause I can perspire easily.
Anyway, a few hours later, I will be seeing my parents and my hometown best friend.
What will it be?
How will it be?
Kinda anxious actually especially all of us haven't met each other for 4 months. And now, I will see them daily for 4 months. How ironic.
Nothing much to blog about actually.The fact that I am all alone in KL, in this huge building makes me feel that I have grown up a little bit.
I like that idea ^^
BACK TO PENANG!!!
我的眼光闪烁闪烁好空洞
我的心跳扑通扑通的阵阵悸动
haha...
This is the first time I blog while I am in an airport. To be more exact, I am currently in KLIA. It's been quite some time since I visited this building. Upon landing, my first comment for it was, it's huge. After entering the building, I said, IT'S EXTREMELY GIGANTIC.
Walking from one end to another is sufficient to make me sweat profusely. Well, maybe cause I can perspire easily.
Anyway, a few hours later, I will be seeing my parents and my hometown best friend.
What will it be?
How will it be?
Kinda anxious actually especially all of us haven't met each other for 4 months. And now, I will see them daily for 4 months. How ironic.
Nothing much to blog about actually.The fact that I am all alone in KL, in this huge building makes me feel that I have grown up a little bit.
I like that idea ^^
BACK TO PENANG!!!
Friday, October 19, 2012
无穷的变化
光阴似箭，眼皮儿眨了一下，三四个月的外出即将结束。
二零一二年的开始至末了，真可谓来也匆匆，去也匆匆。我刚刚抵达这边的情景还漂浮在我脑海里，在过两个礼拜却要归去了。时光的不挽留得以助人，也得以杀人啊。
实话相告，这一次学期的结束，我还真是依依不舍。
不舍什么呢？
不舍这边的朋友，气氛，自由。
刚到来这边不久，我还非常内向，对人往往就是以笑置之。也因如此，人人都觉得我孤僻。虽然如此，我依然一意孤行，凭着自己的自信，深信自己是不错的。
过了数月，我搬进了新家，和一群疯疯癫癫的朋友一起居住。
人非草木，孰能无情？
日子久了，人与人之间也有了感情。我开始珍惜这里的人。他们说的疯话，他们做的傻事，无一是不让大家开怀痛笑的。到了这个田地，我才明白原来自己不是孤僻，而是和不太认识的人无法痛快地表达和发挥自己。一旦认识了，什么傻事都做得出了。
然而，我却遗憾说在茫茫的欢笑当中觅不见同道人士。
事实证明了我是错的。
不久前，我与一位兄弟越谈越投机，渐渐地到了心有灵犀的田地。这一段缘分让我欢乐无比。书，一起念；球，一起打；傻事，一起分享，真是快乐无比啊。
然，夕阳无限好，只惜近黄昏。岁月不留人，我们即将分开了，而且很有可能是永远的分开。这位好友各一年多数会到澳洲的Monash大学念书。天各一方，到那时，要联络见面也不易啊。
唉～
遗憾啊～
然而，天下无不散之宴席。但愿他到了那边能一帆风顺，势如破竹，万事顺心。
这一次的归去，可说是今年以来我花最多时间在家的。足足四个月。
有什么好干的？四个月，说长不长，说短不短。
在这第二学期里，我确信自己有了少许的变化。这变化我是感到满足的可是，让我担忧的是，不知我家乡里的家人朋友，能否接受我稍微的不一样？或则说，我是否还能接受他们？
说完全不能，那就过于言重了。说完全能，那就是瞎说。
我各人认为，我需要一段时间来适应回家乡里的生活。真是让人为难啊，适应了这边又要适应那边，穷穷变化，烦人烦心。
不论前方摆着怎么样的酒席，现下的大事仍不过于眼前的大考。
火力全开了吧汝威～
二零一二年的开始至末了，真可谓来也匆匆，去也匆匆。我刚刚抵达这边的情景还漂浮在我脑海里，在过两个礼拜却要归去了。时光的不挽留得以助人，也得以杀人啊。
实话相告，这一次学期的结束，我还真是依依不舍。
不舍什么呢？
不舍这边的朋友，气氛，自由。
刚到来这边不久，我还非常内向，对人往往就是以笑置之。也因如此，人人都觉得我孤僻。虽然如此，我依然一意孤行，凭着自己的自信，深信自己是不错的。
过了数月，我搬进了新家，和一群疯疯癫癫的朋友一起居住。
人非草木，孰能无情？
日子久了，人与人之间也有了感情。我开始珍惜这里的人。他们说的疯话，他们做的傻事，无一是不让大家开怀痛笑的。到了这个田地，我才明白原来自己不是孤僻，而是和不太认识的人无法痛快地表达和发挥自己。一旦认识了，什么傻事都做得出了。
然而，我却遗憾说在茫茫的欢笑当中觅不见同道人士。
事实证明了我是错的。
不久前，我与一位兄弟越谈越投机，渐渐地到了心有灵犀的田地。这一段缘分让我欢乐无比。书，一起念；球，一起打；傻事，一起分享，真是快乐无比啊。
然，夕阳无限好，只惜近黄昏。岁月不留人，我们即将分开了，而且很有可能是永远的分开。这位好友各一年多数会到澳洲的Monash大学念书。天各一方，到那时，要联络见面也不易啊。
唉～
遗憾啊～
然而，天下无不散之宴席。但愿他到了那边能一帆风顺，势如破竹，万事顺心。
这一次的归去，可说是今年以来我花最多时间在家的。足足四个月。
有什么好干的？四个月，说长不长，说短不短。
在这第二学期里，我确信自己有了少许的变化。这变化我是感到满足的可是，让我担忧的是，不知我家乡里的家人朋友，能否接受我稍微的不一样？或则说，我是否还能接受他们？
说完全不能，那就过于言重了。说完全能，那就是瞎说。
我各人认为，我需要一段时间来适应回家乡里的生活。真是让人为难啊，适应了这边又要适应那边，穷穷变化，烦人烦心。
不论前方摆着怎么样的酒席，现下的大事仍不过于眼前的大考。
火力全开了吧汝威～
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Chemical story
I wrote this short story as requested by my Chemistry lecturer. The main theme is about valence electron and chemical bonding.
Many years ago, when human was still at their primitive age, there was a God. The God was known as the mighty Zeus. The whole world was under His graceful care and guidance. Zeus loved the humans so much that He gave them each a power. Thus, He gave them power through “valence electrons”. Nevertheless, Zeus did not wish for the humans to have power beyond their control. Thus, each humans’ power is limited with the number of “valence electron” around them. The most powerful human would be able to operate on its own and in order to achieve that power, one must have 8 valence electron around them. Thus was the rule set by Zeus Himself to help the humans to evolve into a greater species. Nevertheless, for many years did he realize that the human race was young and naïve. Only a little of them were able to operate alone. Sooner later, He realized that these majority of humans required assistance from their kin and friends. Unable to alter the course and simple characteristics of human, Zeus had an idea to curb this problem. The intelligent Zeus then introduced the idea of working together. If a human had only four or less valence electrons around them, that particular human has to either share or accept that electrons from other people in order to achieve 8 electrons. That seemed to solve the problem but Zeus was not satisfied. He realized that as simple as humans could be, they had their own unique character. Some of them were willing to share their valence electron for the greater good. While some of them forcefully accepted the electrons from others through a magical duel. Those who were willing to share bounded themselves together to form a team. Zeus was very happy with this and thus name their sharing as “covalent bonding”. However, Zeus realized that for those who forcefully accepted the electrons from others were based on the concept of survival of the fittest. As the number of valence electrons represented strength and power for the humans, those with more than 4 electrons would actually accept the other number of valence electrons from those who were weaker than them. They absorbed the remaining valence electron just to fill up their empty spaces and achieved the most powerful number of valance electron which was 8. As for those who had 4 and below of valence electron, they were not powerful enough to defend themselves. Thus, they were obliged to donate their remaining valence electrons to the stronger ones. Knowing the very existence of such situation, Zeus then passed down another rule. This rule would protect those who donated their electrons. It worked in such a way that when the weaker ones donated all of their valence electrons, they would regenerate back and have a number of 8 valence electrons. In other words, they would be stronger than before. Satisfied with His own arrangement, He named the process of donating and accepting as “ionic bonding”.
Many years ago, when human was still at their primitive age, there was a God. The God was known as the mighty Zeus. The whole world was under His graceful care and guidance. Zeus loved the humans so much that He gave them each a power. Thus, He gave them power through “valence electrons”. Nevertheless, Zeus did not wish for the humans to have power beyond their control. Thus, each humans’ power is limited with the number of “valence electron” around them. The most powerful human would be able to operate on its own and in order to achieve that power, one must have 8 valence electron around them. Thus was the rule set by Zeus Himself to help the humans to evolve into a greater species. Nevertheless, for many years did he realize that the human race was young and naïve. Only a little of them were able to operate alone. Sooner later, He realized that these majority of humans required assistance from their kin and friends. Unable to alter the course and simple characteristics of human, Zeus had an idea to curb this problem. The intelligent Zeus then introduced the idea of working together. If a human had only four or less valence electrons around them, that particular human has to either share or accept that electrons from other people in order to achieve 8 electrons. That seemed to solve the problem but Zeus was not satisfied. He realized that as simple as humans could be, they had their own unique character. Some of them were willing to share their valence electron for the greater good. While some of them forcefully accepted the electrons from others through a magical duel. Those who were willing to share bounded themselves together to form a team. Zeus was very happy with this and thus name their sharing as “covalent bonding”. However, Zeus realized that for those who forcefully accepted the electrons from others were based on the concept of survival of the fittest. As the number of valence electrons represented strength and power for the humans, those with more than 4 electrons would actually accept the other number of valence electrons from those who were weaker than them. They absorbed the remaining valence electron just to fill up their empty spaces and achieved the most powerful number of valance electron which was 8. As for those who had 4 and below of valence electron, they were not powerful enough to defend themselves. Thus, they were obliged to donate their remaining valence electrons to the stronger ones. Knowing the very existence of such situation, Zeus then passed down another rule. This rule would protect those who donated their electrons. It worked in such a way that when the weaker ones donated all of their valence electrons, they would regenerate back and have a number of 8 valence electrons. In other words, they would be stronger than before. Satisfied with His own arrangement, He named the process of donating and accepting as “ionic bonding”.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Payphone in Chinese
Take a look if you are interested. I love it a lot ^^
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Happy Birthday Ong.
The days creeps by slowly yet obviously.
The rising and setting of the Sun still remains as conventional as it can be but the objects which it's light shown upon, they experience perpetual changes day by day.
I am of them.
Everything from the movement of the Sun to the blow of the wind seems to be following an arranged routine.
But as for me, life for the past 6 weeks has been fairly interesting.
Today is my best friend's birthday. It's the same day as last year and it's as though I had just celebrated his last birthday yesterday. Yet, in a blink of an eye, I am right in Miri and he's in Penang. Seems so near yet so far. Seems reachable yet untouchable. Seems understandable yet inexplicable.
Complex.
Complicated. Yet, one thing can be as simple as it can get: I wish to celebrate his birthday for him right now.
Noise has made its absence quite obvious throughout my time these few days. However, I barely notice it's absence. I have kept myself in solitude recently. Instead of seeing it as a sign of antisocial, I define it to be a pleasure. Nevertheless, one question remains: To what or whom do I owe this unexpected pleasure?
Solitude has treated me well. The time spent for myself has brought nothing but satisfaction and a few questions. Satisfaction as in completing the things that I have in mind. Questions as in whether I am on the right path. Putting both of them together, for now, it weighs heavier on the satisfaction side.
How I wish I possess the ability to hasten time till I set foot on the land of Penang. In order to do so, I will have to face my obligations laid before me. Yes, indeed. There are a few unsettled tasks which require my utmost attention and effort.
As a promise to myself, I shall deal with them delicately.
Till then, adios...
The rising and setting of the Sun still remains as conventional as it can be but the objects which it's light shown upon, they experience perpetual changes day by day.
I am of them.
Everything from the movement of the Sun to the blow of the wind seems to be following an arranged routine.
But as for me, life for the past 6 weeks has been fairly interesting.
Today is my best friend's birthday. It's the same day as last year and it's as though I had just celebrated his last birthday yesterday. Yet, in a blink of an eye, I am right in Miri and he's in Penang. Seems so near yet so far. Seems reachable yet untouchable. Seems understandable yet inexplicable.
Complex.
Complicated. Yet, one thing can be as simple as it can get: I wish to celebrate his birthday for him right now.
Noise has made its absence quite obvious throughout my time these few days. However, I barely notice it's absence. I have kept myself in solitude recently. Instead of seeing it as a sign of antisocial, I define it to be a pleasure. Nevertheless, one question remains: To what or whom do I owe this unexpected pleasure?
Solitude has treated me well. The time spent for myself has brought nothing but satisfaction and a few questions. Satisfaction as in completing the things that I have in mind. Questions as in whether I am on the right path. Putting both of them together, for now, it weighs heavier on the satisfaction side.
How I wish I possess the ability to hasten time till I set foot on the land of Penang. In order to do so, I will have to face my obligations laid before me. Yes, indeed. There are a few unsettled tasks which require my utmost attention and effort.
As a promise to myself, I shall deal with them delicately.
Till then, adios...
Friday, August 3, 2012
A few points to ponder
Right now, I am entering the fourth week of my second semester.
Throughout these 4 weeks, I dare say that I have been relatively comfortable and happy. Some of such satisfaction come from the fact that I finally move in into a new house which feels more like home. It really does make a difference. Living in a place where it signifies nothing but keep reminding you that you are far far away from home does make one sick. For now, I just love this room of mine where I have my privacy but then not so lonely and away from the friends here.
Academic wise, I feel more right on track this semester. Last semester was a total confusion. But then, I still lack the diligence that I expected from myself before coming here. I keep telling people around me that the worst weakness is when you identified your own weakness, acknowledging them but did nothing to alter the course of it. It is just pathetic and weak. Sadly and unfortunately, I am finding difficulty to apply this personal thought to my current situation. Sad.
Another thing that really makes me happy is the activities here. I am in Curtin's volleyball club. There are many things that require my attention and effort. I like it as i treat it as a training ground for me. Apart all these management things, training hard to be a better volleyball player has accompanied me throughout these weeks. It is always fun and entertaining to set one of your targets on sports. I just enjoy looking at the result of my training gradually but effectively growing day by day. By doing so, it does provide some respect among the players in Curtin. I won't have the guts to say that I have the talent in it but then it's quite obvious that my improvement has been quite at a fast rate. No matter what happens, I will keep training on. Sigh.. But then, thinking about my two favourite sports back in Nibong Tebal, basketball and ping pong, I really miss playing them. It's a shame that I can't find any link to reconnect myself to basketball in Curtin. Somehow, it is as if it's not meant for me here. As for ping pong, this sport is quite underrated here. No one cares to play it or establish it. So, the two of my buddies are slowly fading away. I guess that's fate. I don't like it but that's how it is.
Once again I would like to thank the all mighty God for putting wonderful people in my life right now. First I have this very kind and elegant lecturer who never stop helping her students. It is really a gift from God to have met her. Second would be the friends here. Right now, it's like we have a small group of people consisting of 3 boys and a girl. The four of us just got together without anyone knowing it. It's just amazing how things work out their own way and form an equation which will last for a considerable amount of time. Though some of us within the group might not agree on most occasions, we do agree to disagree which makes things easier to settle.
Last night and this morning, my lecturer had a brief conversation with me. I started it first by asking, why some people are so popular or welcomed though they are nothing but jackasses. My lecturer threw me back a question, are you intimated by it? Then, she told me that I shouldn't look at what I didn't have but appreciate the people who stayed by with me for who I am. I appreciate those words and I shall remember them. But right now, sitting in front of my laptop, I question myself again. Why am I so insecure and intimated by the differences around me? I am definitely very very different from the people around me here, be it the academic arena or the sports arena. If you were to take out the few number of people around me, it would look as if I have been operating on my own throughout this while. But then, right until now, the results of such act has been promising. So, what's the problem? I guess I would have to think it through.
As for now, everything looks cool. :)
Throughout these 4 weeks, I dare say that I have been relatively comfortable and happy. Some of such satisfaction come from the fact that I finally move in into a new house which feels more like home. It really does make a difference. Living in a place where it signifies nothing but keep reminding you that you are far far away from home does make one sick. For now, I just love this room of mine where I have my privacy but then not so lonely and away from the friends here.
Academic wise, I feel more right on track this semester. Last semester was a total confusion. But then, I still lack the diligence that I expected from myself before coming here. I keep telling people around me that the worst weakness is when you identified your own weakness, acknowledging them but did nothing to alter the course of it. It is just pathetic and weak. Sadly and unfortunately, I am finding difficulty to apply this personal thought to my current situation. Sad.
Another thing that really makes me happy is the activities here. I am in Curtin's volleyball club. There are many things that require my attention and effort. I like it as i treat it as a training ground for me. Apart all these management things, training hard to be a better volleyball player has accompanied me throughout these weeks. It is always fun and entertaining to set one of your targets on sports. I just enjoy looking at the result of my training gradually but effectively growing day by day. By doing so, it does provide some respect among the players in Curtin. I won't have the guts to say that I have the talent in it but then it's quite obvious that my improvement has been quite at a fast rate. No matter what happens, I will keep training on. Sigh.. But then, thinking about my two favourite sports back in Nibong Tebal, basketball and ping pong, I really miss playing them. It's a shame that I can't find any link to reconnect myself to basketball in Curtin. Somehow, it is as if it's not meant for me here. As for ping pong, this sport is quite underrated here. No one cares to play it or establish it. So, the two of my buddies are slowly fading away. I guess that's fate. I don't like it but that's how it is.
Once again I would like to thank the all mighty God for putting wonderful people in my life right now. First I have this very kind and elegant lecturer who never stop helping her students. It is really a gift from God to have met her. Second would be the friends here. Right now, it's like we have a small group of people consisting of 3 boys and a girl. The four of us just got together without anyone knowing it. It's just amazing how things work out their own way and form an equation which will last for a considerable amount of time. Though some of us within the group might not agree on most occasions, we do agree to disagree which makes things easier to settle.
Last night and this morning, my lecturer had a brief conversation with me. I started it first by asking, why some people are so popular or welcomed though they are nothing but jackasses. My lecturer threw me back a question, are you intimated by it? Then, she told me that I shouldn't look at what I didn't have but appreciate the people who stayed by with me for who I am. I appreciate those words and I shall remember them. But right now, sitting in front of my laptop, I question myself again. Why am I so insecure and intimated by the differences around me? I am definitely very very different from the people around me here, be it the academic arena or the sports arena. If you were to take out the few number of people around me, it would look as if I have been operating on my own throughout this while. But then, right until now, the results of such act has been promising. So, what's the problem? I guess I would have to think it through.
As for now, everything looks cool. :)
Monday, July 9, 2012
Memories
It's the last week of my semester break.
After this week, i will be back in Miri, away from Nibong Tebal.
A month had passed. But this time, it did not pass without a trace. Yes. It did leave behind many traces. Traces such as these were always left behind one's journey of life. Some even said that in order to achieve greatness, it's necessary not to hold on too tight on them. But, I treated these traces, or to say memories, as a power and driving force both to motivate and empower myself in my journey to be a better person. In my point of opinion, those memories were not stationary. They were not just left behind for the sake of being but memories. If they were taken as such, then I must say that their definition and purpose had been diminished. They were never stationary. They moved on. Though taken as past events, they actually lived with us throughout our current life. They gave us power. They made us who we are today and maybe, tomorrow. To forget and neglect the pass would be one's greatest mistake.
For me, I planned to hold on to them as firmly as I could. In a nick of time, I would be flying away from my origin. Many asked me how do I feel? It's a rather difficult answer to give spontaneously. But after putting in some thoughts, I landed myself on an answer. My answer for the question was, I am filled with anticipation.
Why did I say that?
It sounded as if I couldn't wait to leave home. It sounded rebellious.
No. They weren't anticipations supported by devilish thoughts. They were anticipation embedded with hope and bravery.
My family, friends and the church were the only things that made my one month in NT meaningful and fruitful. To say that I couldn't wait to leave all these behind would be foolish and idiotic. No doubt that I couldn't actually face the fact and practicality of my coming departure. I couldn't find the guts to believe that my semester break had ended in just a snap. Yet, I knew pretty well that the time had come for each and everyone of us to make our own decision, not at the expense of our ties and relationship that we built up so hardly over the years, in order to grow stronger and better. Nevertheless, I would firmly stress upon one thing. If the cost incurred in the decision that we made was too costly, then I would say that the decision might be wrong.
My mum was right, again.It's time for us, be it friends or brothers, to each create our own arenas. It's time we owned or be owned. Either way, we still learn.
With such thought in my mind, I actually felt more peaceful and was able to accept the fact that I was about to leave.
The same question presented itself in my head. What is in stored for me after this week?
Friday, June 15, 2012
你依然在那里
In many occasions, our mind has the perfect ability to betray us. Such betrayal is much dangerous than any other form of betrayal. It might be true that even those great people of the history had been betrayed and jeopardised by their very mind. It is then suggested to everyone, especially teenagers who lack experience and the wisdom of life, to never underestimate your own mind as it will bring fourth benefits and at the same time, tragedy to your life.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我以为我不需要再等待了
我以为一切已经到了尽头
我以为我可以走出那个阴影
我以为我不用再回头
原来
我的以为，只是我以为
为了得到一丝的希望
三年看起来不多
一切看起来是那么的值得
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
终于
时间过去了
回忆已成了历史
只是用来回目
不再拥有情绪的操纵权
终于得以解脱
然而
那只是自我安慰，自我逃避
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
今天
本来没有希望能见到你的影子
心里完全没有一丝的防备
可是
命运/缘份得到了操纵权
碰见了你
听起来稀松平常
可是
你知道吗
那股振动是我已放弃很久很久的了
你突然的出现
把我努力埋起来的回忆
通通给挖了起来
就好像一处戏
在我面前播个不停
多么希望能有勇气踏上一步
减少我们之间的距离
多么希望有这个清楚的头脑去和你说说一两句
可是
平日里信心满满的我
失败了
你的一举一动
到现在还是那么的清晰
你曾说过的每一句话
你曾做过的每件事
你邹的眉头
你笑的样子
一切的一切
还是很清楚
那个时候
我才发现到
你依然在那里
是我自己被我的头脑欺骗了
你依然在那里
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
回家的路途中
我为我的失败彻底的后悔
不停的责怪自己为什么那么没胆
一阵子后
我相信
以后不再有见到你的希望了
我相信
过去就是过去
糊糊涂涂地
时间过了几个钟
突然地
你又出现在我前面
我好吃惊
也很开心
因为
机会来了
我勇敢地走上去
说了几句话
虽然说话对象不是你
但那也充足了
我告诉我自己
把握！！！！！
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
梦见你
真是异想天开
可是
醒了之后
我竟然做了那个异想天开的事儿
而且
我成功了！！！
好开心！！！
三年以来我所等待的一丝希望
终于出现在我的眼前
而且
我得到了！
好开心
好久没那么开心了
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我以为一切会有好的开始
可是
错
我又错了
你选择以沉默来对待我的真心
你选择以静制动
我没有办法
我无奈
那一丝希望
难道不是希望吗?
那一丝光芒
难道不是光芒吗？
跌了又爬起来
爬了起来又跌的感觉
真不好受
真不好受
为什么？？？
一些些的反应
是那么的难吗？
我不要多
就那么的一点点
行吗？
虽然如此
我还是不放弃
我还是选择相信
相信我自己能达到的
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am very grateful to be blessed by a group of sincere and good friends.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
None of us get to know each other through nothing.
Each of us has our own story to tell.
Each of us has our own joke to share.
Nevertheless, when someone falls, the other will be there to pick you up.
What more is there for me to say?
I have the best group of friends the world can offer.
Is there anything more I can lament about?
Thanks guys...
Thanks..
Thanks for lending me a hand when I need one.
Thanks....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我以为我不需要再等待了
我以为一切已经到了尽头
我以为我可以走出那个阴影
我以为我不用再回头
原来
我的以为，只是我以为
为了得到一丝的希望
三年看起来不多
一切看起来是那么的值得
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
终于
时间过去了
回忆已成了历史
只是用来回目
不再拥有情绪的操纵权
终于得以解脱
然而
那只是自我安慰，自我逃避
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
今天
本来没有希望能见到你的影子
心里完全没有一丝的防备
可是
命运/缘份得到了操纵权
碰见了你
听起来稀松平常
可是
你知道吗
那股振动是我已放弃很久很久的了
你突然的出现
把我努力埋起来的回忆
通通给挖了起来
就好像一处戏
在我面前播个不停
多么希望能有勇气踏上一步
减少我们之间的距离
多么希望有这个清楚的头脑去和你说说一两句
可是
平日里信心满满的我
失败了
你的一举一动
到现在还是那么的清晰
你曾说过的每一句话
你曾做过的每件事
你邹的眉头
你笑的样子
一切的一切
还是很清楚
那个时候
我才发现到
你依然在那里
是我自己被我的头脑欺骗了
你依然在那里
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
回家的路途中
我为我的失败彻底的后悔
不停的责怪自己为什么那么没胆
一阵子后
我相信
以后不再有见到你的希望了
我相信
过去就是过去
糊糊涂涂地
时间过了几个钟
突然地
你又出现在我前面
我好吃惊
也很开心
因为
机会来了
我勇敢地走上去
说了几句话
虽然说话对象不是你
但那也充足了
我告诉我自己
把握！！！！！
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
梦见你
真是异想天开
可是
醒了之后
我竟然做了那个异想天开的事儿
而且
我成功了！！！
好开心！！！
三年以来我所等待的一丝希望
终于出现在我的眼前
而且
我得到了！
好开心
好久没那么开心了
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我以为一切会有好的开始
可是
错
我又错了
你选择以沉默来对待我的真心
你选择以静制动
我没有办法
我无奈
那一丝希望
难道不是希望吗?
那一丝光芒
难道不是光芒吗？
跌了又爬起来
爬了起来又跌的感觉
真不好受
真不好受
为什么？？？
一些些的反应
是那么的难吗？
我不要多
就那么的一点点
行吗？
虽然如此
我还是不放弃
我还是选择相信
相信我自己能达到的
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am very grateful to be blessed by a group of sincere and good friends.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
None of us get to know each other through nothing.
Each of us has our own story to tell.
Each of us has our own joke to share.
Nevertheless, when someone falls, the other will be there to pick you up.
What more is there for me to say?
I have the best group of friends the world can offer.
Is there anything more I can lament about?
Thanks guys...
Thanks..
Thanks for lending me a hand when I need one.
Thanks....
Saturday, June 2, 2012
In my last post I did mention that I was in deep trouble with my preparation for the finals.
Now, standing where I am, I am actually laughing at that post.
Muahaha..
Currently, I am feeling so much better and optimistic towards my incoming finals. 3 subjects are on track, thanks to my very kind lecturer.
She is a very nice and kind person who finds it rather difficult to deny a single chance to offer help to those who require it.With her guidance, mathematics seem less difficult. Her way of teaching reminds me a lot of my mum. In other words, she is good in teaching. I am grateful and fortunate to have a tutor like her in Curtin or else I won't have the mood and time to write this post. Besides, she does take care of our fundamental needs. She always ensure that we are not hungry and comfortable all the time. How nice of her.
Oh, and I almost forgot! Lately i have been hanging out with a new bunch of friends. At the first stage, we find it rather hard to accommodate each other. It's understandable as everyone of us comes from different places and were brought up in a different manner. Nevertheless, we all had a mutual goal: we want to fulfill our duty and responsibility as a student. For now, we do not have the time to actually have fun together as we only got together to get prepared for the finals. However, with this common goal, we quickly establish a close ties between each and other.
So.. what am I supposed to talk about?
I don't really know too.
Just feel like blogging after doing some past year papers.
Soon, I will be going home. I wonder how much has Nibong Tebal changed. Definitely, my family will also wonder how much have I changed. It's only natural.
Finally! I have something to talk about. (It popped out in my mind suddenly ^^)
People around me are really getting crazy with love. Meaning, those who are still single, they desire for their partner like a hungry man craving for a hearty meal (well, you know what a hungry man can do, don't you?); those who are in the process of coupling, both of them love each other fiercely; those who have broken up, they are so sad and emo as if the world is at it's end.
What about me ??
I am just not in THAT category, be it the beginning, in the process or the end. I can't say whether it's good or bad to be so (maybe you have an answer) but what I am sure is that I like it this way. ^^
After all, I'm just 19 and I plan to find slowly and accurately.
Sometimes, when the whether is cold and the moon is high up in the sky, I tend to ask myself: When will it be my time? Asking this stupidly to myself and hoping that the moon will drop an answer to me. How lame..
Oh and one more thing. Teenagers nowadays are getting really immature and stupid. (Including me?? @.@) They are willing to do anything, and I mean it, ANYTHING just to make that girl/boy likes them back. Hmmmm... Well... If there's a rule saying that a guy HAVE to be like this in order to get a wife, I guess I shall be the Monk of Immortal.
My home, HERE I COME!!!!
Now, standing where I am, I am actually laughing at that post.
Muahaha..
Currently, I am feeling so much better and optimistic towards my incoming finals. 3 subjects are on track, thanks to my very kind lecturer.
She is a very nice and kind person who finds it rather difficult to deny a single chance to offer help to those who require it.With her guidance, mathematics seem less difficult. Her way of teaching reminds me a lot of my mum. In other words, she is good in teaching. I am grateful and fortunate to have a tutor like her in Curtin or else I won't have the mood and time to write this post. Besides, she does take care of our fundamental needs. She always ensure that we are not hungry and comfortable all the time. How nice of her.
Oh, and I almost forgot! Lately i have been hanging out with a new bunch of friends. At the first stage, we find it rather hard to accommodate each other. It's understandable as everyone of us comes from different places and were brought up in a different manner. Nevertheless, we all had a mutual goal: we want to fulfill our duty and responsibility as a student. For now, we do not have the time to actually have fun together as we only got together to get prepared for the finals. However, with this common goal, we quickly establish a close ties between each and other.
So.. what am I supposed to talk about?
I don't really know too.
Just feel like blogging after doing some past year papers.
Soon, I will be going home. I wonder how much has Nibong Tebal changed. Definitely, my family will also wonder how much have I changed. It's only natural.
Finally! I have something to talk about. (It popped out in my mind suddenly ^^)
People around me are really getting crazy with love. Meaning, those who are still single, they desire for their partner like a hungry man craving for a hearty meal (well, you know what a hungry man can do, don't you?); those who are in the process of coupling, both of them love each other fiercely; those who have broken up, they are so sad and emo as if the world is at it's end.
What about me ??
I am just not in THAT category, be it the beginning, in the process or the end. I can't say whether it's good or bad to be so (maybe you have an answer) but what I am sure is that I like it this way. ^^
After all, I'm just 19 and I plan to find slowly and accurately.
Sometimes, when the whether is cold and the moon is high up in the sky, I tend to ask myself: When will it be my time? Asking this stupidly to myself and hoping that the moon will drop an answer to me. How lame..
Oh and one more thing. Teenagers nowadays are getting really immature and stupid. (Including me?? @.@) They are willing to do anything, and I mean it, ANYTHING just to make that girl/boy likes them back. Hmmmm... Well... If there's a rule saying that a guy HAVE to be like this in order to get a wife, I guess I shall be the Monk of Immortal.
My home, HERE I COME!!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
The beginning of the end.....
Once again I am here, facing my laptop with an inexplicable feeling. For now, it should be happiness and not what I am feeling currently. Yet, I fail to fathom the operation of my emotions.
The hasty pace of my current life robs the opportunity from me to stop and ponder. And right now, my only option left is to run with it and never look back cause if I look back, I might miss a step ahead. The more I have the anxiety to stop and contemplate, the faster time is slipping out of my grasp.
Recently, my study group with Gabriel just got a little bigger. The new members are nice people and their presence do add a little fun to the atmosphere. Everyone seems to be on their 5th gear, driving through all obstacles in a nick of time, smoothly and steadily. Amid the whole tensed up condition, someone would have been left behind. And who might that be?
This time, I am afraid I have to admit that I am the one. I am the One. This statement usually sounds cool and powerful but for now, it portrays an image of failure. The reason behind such negativity is, again, due to time. Time is running out, like it always do. The finals are approaching. Yet, I have no confidence of possessing any offensive strategy. History repeats itself. A sudden laziness invades my mental fortress. The composition of the invasion consists of a variety of feelings. For instance, the urge to return home as soon as possible, easily satisfied and most ultimately, laziness. The summation of these three major problems would cause me my first semester, that I am sure. I once said on facebook that a quality and meaningful respite is needed. On the contrary, I think I should reduce my resting time and quickly get down on it.
Why do I lack motivation? Why have I lost the willpower to strike and aim further and higher?
Oh please.. give me my strength.. or watch me live out the consequences...
The hasty pace of my current life robs the opportunity from me to stop and ponder. And right now, my only option left is to run with it and never look back cause if I look back, I might miss a step ahead. The more I have the anxiety to stop and contemplate, the faster time is slipping out of my grasp.
Recently, my study group with Gabriel just got a little bigger. The new members are nice people and their presence do add a little fun to the atmosphere. Everyone seems to be on their 5th gear, driving through all obstacles in a nick of time, smoothly and steadily. Amid the whole tensed up condition, someone would have been left behind. And who might that be?
This time, I am afraid I have to admit that I am the one. I am the One. This statement usually sounds cool and powerful but for now, it portrays an image of failure. The reason behind such negativity is, again, due to time. Time is running out, like it always do. The finals are approaching. Yet, I have no confidence of possessing any offensive strategy. History repeats itself. A sudden laziness invades my mental fortress. The composition of the invasion consists of a variety of feelings. For instance, the urge to return home as soon as possible, easily satisfied and most ultimately, laziness. The summation of these three major problems would cause me my first semester, that I am sure. I once said on facebook that a quality and meaningful respite is needed. On the contrary, I think I should reduce my resting time and quickly get down on it.
Why do I lack motivation? Why have I lost the willpower to strike and aim further and higher?
Oh please.. give me my strength.. or watch me live out the consequences...
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Hasty
A month more to go before I sit for my finals of my first semester. The duration between the exam and now is said to be neither short nor long. Whatever it is, I suppose the only thing to do with the time is to appreciate every second of it.
Week 9 was a very busy week. Most of days were spent with one of my close friends in Curtin at the library. It was like a daily routine for us to be there till late midnight to study through the required syllabus. I was glad that I was able to offer a helping hand to him whenever he encountered any predicaments. However, it turned out that I was the one who require my own attention. Ironic, wasn't it? But then it was always a great thing to help a friend. No regrets. Then, we had to deal with the weekly Math online quiz. Now that was a problem for the both of us as we weren't prepared for it. Thanks to some help offered by some kind friends, we were able to sail through it. Yet, I told myself, this would not happen again. Never. I had to admit that I failed to appreciate the importance of time as well as it's consequences if one failed to do so. I had been through many tough lessons but all of them seemed unable to sink in. I guessed there was still a piece of me missing. Somewhere. Would I be wasting this one-month of duration? I certainly hope not. It would be disastrous if it were to happen.
After the test, I thought I could finally feel a sign of relief. Nevertheless, I was very far away from feeling relief. I did not know the reason why I fail to breath in a peaceful air. Unlike the others, I did not have the happiness in me after coming out from the exam venue. Why am I so serious?
The next day, my close friend and I went to the Miri Open Volleyball Competition. Time traveled swiftly. Looking back from now, I couldn't actually remember what we did back then. Everything was like fast forwarding. It did make me creep a little.
On Sunday, which was the day after the volleyball competition, I was filled up with all the practices for the International Festival Concert. That was my first on-stage performance in Curtin. As a whole, it went well. I did a couple of spontaneous performance to cover up the technical problem. My ability to play anything at anywhere and anytime fascinated myself. For thus long, I kept thinking that my skills with the piano had gone rusty. I was proven wrong that night. Though I might be playing the same song, it still had the power to attract people's attention. And the great thing was, I did not freak out though the crowd was around hundred. I was happy, to myself but not to the entire organisation of the night. What I wanted to say was, they should at least make an introduction for me to go and play, not just randomly put up a performance just to cover up the shit laid by other people. Honestly, I looked stupid playing something in the middle of nothing without being called for by the MC. It would be much appreciated if something had been said to let everyone know why I was playing. Amid the whole chaotic arrangement of events, one of my lecturer said that I looked serious. I was grateful that my friend told me about it. Then, he started to say about my personality and attitude towards people. I appreciated his talk and opinions. Some of them were true and deserved my consideration. Yet, I was wondering, did I look serious? Why people kept saying that?
Hasty.
Everything was hasty....
A month more to go. I am going to make it count. But then, can I???
Week 9 was a very busy week. Most of days were spent with one of my close friends in Curtin at the library. It was like a daily routine for us to be there till late midnight to study through the required syllabus. I was glad that I was able to offer a helping hand to him whenever he encountered any predicaments. However, it turned out that I was the one who require my own attention. Ironic, wasn't it? But then it was always a great thing to help a friend. No regrets. Then, we had to deal with the weekly Math online quiz. Now that was a problem for the both of us as we weren't prepared for it. Thanks to some help offered by some kind friends, we were able to sail through it. Yet, I told myself, this would not happen again. Never. I had to admit that I failed to appreciate the importance of time as well as it's consequences if one failed to do so. I had been through many tough lessons but all of them seemed unable to sink in. I guessed there was still a piece of me missing. Somewhere. Would I be wasting this one-month of duration? I certainly hope not. It would be disastrous if it were to happen.
After the test, I thought I could finally feel a sign of relief. Nevertheless, I was very far away from feeling relief. I did not know the reason why I fail to breath in a peaceful air. Unlike the others, I did not have the happiness in me after coming out from the exam venue. Why am I so serious?
The next day, my close friend and I went to the Miri Open Volleyball Competition. Time traveled swiftly. Looking back from now, I couldn't actually remember what we did back then. Everything was like fast forwarding. It did make me creep a little.
On Sunday, which was the day after the volleyball competition, I was filled up with all the practices for the International Festival Concert. That was my first on-stage performance in Curtin. As a whole, it went well. I did a couple of spontaneous performance to cover up the technical problem. My ability to play anything at anywhere and anytime fascinated myself. For thus long, I kept thinking that my skills with the piano had gone rusty. I was proven wrong that night. Though I might be playing the same song, it still had the power to attract people's attention. And the great thing was, I did not freak out though the crowd was around hundred. I was happy, to myself but not to the entire organisation of the night. What I wanted to say was, they should at least make an introduction for me to go and play, not just randomly put up a performance just to cover up the shit laid by other people. Honestly, I looked stupid playing something in the middle of nothing without being called for by the MC. It would be much appreciated if something had been said to let everyone know why I was playing. Amid the whole chaotic arrangement of events, one of my lecturer said that I looked serious. I was grateful that my friend told me about it. Then, he started to say about my personality and attitude towards people. I appreciated his talk and opinions. Some of them were true and deserved my consideration. Yet, I was wondering, did I look serious? Why people kept saying that?
Hasty.
Everything was hasty....
A month more to go. I am going to make it count. But then, can I???
Thursday, April 12, 2012
我好像不见了
刚才和槟城的亲友在为网上会合，玩玩我们最酷爱的网上游戏 - DotA.
唉～不是很好玩。这个游戏基本上是很简单，输了很多就自然不好玩的了。当时的我，很不愉快，心里常埋怨他们怎么玩到这么差。整个人就简直是玩到呆着的那种，麻木的，乏味的。真没意思。然而，我不生气，也没在网上发泄。我就只静静的让时间慢慢地过去。就这样的，缓缓地，我进入了我自己的世界·····
这个其实就是一个游戏。简单的一个游戏而已。可是刚才从我们各人的玩法里，我感受到很大的不同。我感受到了巨大的差别和代沟。或许是因为这些点点滴滴而破坏了刚才的时刻。我们言语上有很多误会，行动与抉择方面更是乱得可怕。我看了当时很气可是过了一会儿，那股气竟成了沮丧，甚至有点绝望。为什么？为什么？为什么？
唉～不是很好玩。这个游戏基本上是很简单，输了很多就自然不好玩的了。当时的我，很不愉快，心里常埋怨他们怎么玩到这么差。整个人就简直是玩到呆着的那种，麻木的，乏味的。真没意思。然而，我不生气，也没在网上发泄。我就只静静的让时间慢慢地过去。就这样的，缓缓地，我进入了我自己的世界·····
这个其实就是一个游戏。简单的一个游戏而已。可是刚才从我们各人的玩法里，我感受到很大的不同。我感受到了巨大的差别和代沟。或许是因为这些点点滴滴而破坏了刚才的时刻。我们言语上有很多误会，行动与抉择方面更是乱得可怕。我看了当时很气可是过了一会儿，那股气竟成了沮丧，甚至有点绝望。为什么？为什么？为什么？
为什么我会有这样的感觉？
为什么会有这样的事情发生？
为什么我会觉得那么的无能为力？
玩完后，我踏了脚踏车，慢慢地进入黑夜的拥抱·····
玩完后，我踏了脚踏车，慢慢地进入黑夜的拥抱·····
偶尔，路灯把我的影子长长的拖在地上，仿佛舍不得我的离去·······
突然间我心里有点感触···停了下来，看着自己的影子，自己问了自己，那是谁？
这片黑影好熟悉，不知在何处曾经见过～
这片黑影好熟悉，不知在何处曾经见过～
它随着我，伴着我好久好久可是我从来不认识真正的它。或许我不认识的它，其实不曾改变而是我在不停地奔驰，不停地寻找～～
为了什么呢？未知·····
看了那片黑影，我顿时间觉得很害怕··
看了那片黑影，我顿时间觉得很害怕··
怕。
我怕我与它之间有了很大很大的距离可是表面上看来是很近的。心里边儿的距离的确比具体上距离恐怖得多····
我好想再弹一弹我的钢琴···找回来原本的我，属于自己的我～～
然而····然而····人在江湖，身不由己啊～～～
Saturday, March 31, 2012
I am who I am
----Week 5----
It's been a busy week. Studies, test, side visits. All of these do hasten the motion of time. When time actually traveled in such a pace, I tend to question myself, where did my "last week" go? And often do I worry that time would catch me off-guard. Wasting my time was the last thing I would want to do.
It's been a busy week. Studies, test, side visits. All of these do hasten the motion of time. When time actually traveled in such a pace, I tend to question myself, where did my "last week" go? And often do I worry that time would catch me off-guard. Wasting my time was the last thing I would want to do.
So, how was week 5?
The answer to that would be GOOD!
Lately, I have indulged myself into volleyball. Well, the thing about this sport was that I played before during high school but wasn't good at it. Not good at all. Apart from not being good, volleyball, this particular sport, actually gave me quite a number of memories of my high school, SMKSN. When I played it here, I did feel a little bit nostalgic and some memories flew past my head, leaving me in a state of memory.
Lately, I have indulged myself into volleyball. Well, the thing about this sport was that I played before during high school but wasn't good at it. Not good at all. Apart from not being good, volleyball, this particular sport, actually gave me quite a number of memories of my high school, SMKSN. When I played it here, I did feel a little bit nostalgic and some memories flew past my head, leaving me in a state of memory.
As a ping pong player, I found it hard to be well in this sport. Maybe I was not meant to play it. :(
However, since this was the sport that landed itself on my doorstep, I would train hard to be better. That's just who I am. Talking about this, I was grateful that I met one of the seniors here who was a really good player. He was good and nice in personality but too bad, he would be leaving after this semester. Hmmm.. I guessed fate was playing it's trick again, huh? Recently, I had been having meals with him, and through that, we shared our opinions and our encounters. I was honoured to have known someone like him. Bravo to our friendship!
My friends will be going back to their respective hometowns during the tuition free week. I would be all alone here. Well not entirely alone as some of them aren't going back. It's a shame that I can't take a flight home and have a peek at my family and friends. I do miss them. My thoughts are with them from time to time.
However, since this was the sport that landed itself on my doorstep, I would train hard to be better. That's just who I am. Talking about this, I was grateful that I met one of the seniors here who was a really good player. He was good and nice in personality but too bad, he would be leaving after this semester. Hmmm.. I guessed fate was playing it's trick again, huh? Recently, I had been having meals with him, and through that, we shared our opinions and our encounters. I was honoured to have known someone like him. Bravo to our friendship!
My friends will be going back to their respective hometowns during the tuition free week. I would be all alone here. Well not entirely alone as some of them aren't going back. It's a shame that I can't take a flight home and have a peek at my family and friends. I do miss them. My thoughts are with them from time to time.
Facing a new problem lately. Well, maybe the word "problem" is too harsh a term but I can't come out with a better one. It's not very serious but friends around me keep reminding me about that. They keep telling me to let go of myself, which means to relax myself and enjoy. Some of them do think that I am too serious and hold on tightly to my thoughts. Well this is quite true sometimes.
Now, here is my answer for them: I am who I am. For those friendly advise who think that they wanna help me to be a better person, you are welcome. But for those who dislike, loathe or even hate me for who I am, sorry, you can get out of my life and find your place somewhere you belong.
I guess that's all.
P.S: Have to plan my time wisely for the coming holiday.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Update
---Week 3----
I have been here for almost a month. Nevertheless, not a day has passed without me thinking how is everyone back at Nibong Tebal. I miss you all a lot. I am very proud and honoured to have a group of close and good friends. Though between us there is a long distance, none of us failed to keep in touch with the other. We often update ourselves with each other's events and stuffs. Maybe two, or many, is better than one. Sometimes when I am bored or feel a little lonely, they are always there, in my heart. It seems like distance isn't a problem after all. ^^
University life is indeed very nice. People here have many fresh ideas. Creative and innovative. I guess that're the fundamental criteria of a university student. Yet, I still wonder, do I, now, look like a university student? You know, being physically small does mislead people to think that you are childish or whatsoever. But the funny thing that happens here is, friends of mine keep saying that I look old (mature would be a nicer word to describe). Honestly, I am glad and okay with it because people take you seriously when you look mature or serious to them. More and more I get to know that I resemble a lot of my father, more towards the quiet and serious side. My friends here can go really crazy and let go everything and they do urge me to do the same but I fail to convince them that I have already let go everything and I am fine right now. This leads to another problem which lately does trouble me. You see, there are many people in this world, thus the variety of liking and attitude. However, the majority of the population does have a mutual point: a lot of them love alcohol. Now, I am not trying to judge or point my finger to anyone. This is only a personal thought and it shall be so. These few days, my friends invite me to join them to the club and get some drinks. It is quite costly, given my current financial status. I do not agree with the idea immediately but of course, I am open for opinions and discussions. Then, there is good friend of mine who kind of lecture me about all these stuffs. According to him, if my memory still serves me right, clubbing and alcohols are like a tool to be sociable as well as to get to know more people. It is the best way to get to know more people and get yourselves more friends who, in return, will benefit you in times to come. Well, I do agree with that idea as my brother and father are doing so too. Being sociable is sometimes very important for certain criteria of people. Then I ask him, don't you feel uncomfortable after drinking it? He says yes, of course. According to him, people don't really like to drink. They just drink for the sake of drinking it, cause it is alcohol. That's when confusion strikes me. Since it is not nice to be drank, why force yourself to do it just so to get more friends? And, since most of the people agree to the fact that beer or some alcoholic beverages are unfriendly to our tongue, why do the world recognise drinking as a social event? I am sure there are much better beverages to be chosen. When I think about this, I judge myself to be immature and stupid. Great poets and warriors of the past see drinking as a way to inspire them or to prove that they are the better man. But, it is still not nice to drink, right? Why drink it then? Drinking something which you don't like but treat it as an act of champion doesn't sound right. It resembles the human nature of committing sin when we know pretty well that it is wrong. Just like what the great Paul said, it is hard to do good things and so easy to do bad things. People are clear that alcohol doesn't taste good, bad for health and very very expensive but just for the sake of it, they drink and brag about it.
I have been here for almost a month. Nevertheless, not a day has passed without me thinking how is everyone back at Nibong Tebal. I miss you all a lot. I am very proud and honoured to have a group of close and good friends. Though between us there is a long distance, none of us failed to keep in touch with the other. We often update ourselves with each other's events and stuffs. Maybe two, or many, is better than one. Sometimes when I am bored or feel a little lonely, they are always there, in my heart. It seems like distance isn't a problem after all. ^^
University life is indeed very nice. People here have many fresh ideas. Creative and innovative. I guess that're the fundamental criteria of a university student. Yet, I still wonder, do I, now, look like a university student? You know, being physically small does mislead people to think that you are childish or whatsoever. But the funny thing that happens here is, friends of mine keep saying that I look old (mature would be a nicer word to describe). Honestly, I am glad and okay with it because people take you seriously when you look mature or serious to them. More and more I get to know that I resemble a lot of my father, more towards the quiet and serious side. My friends here can go really crazy and let go everything and they do urge me to do the same but I fail to convince them that I have already let go everything and I am fine right now. This leads to another problem which lately does trouble me. You see, there are many people in this world, thus the variety of liking and attitude. However, the majority of the population does have a mutual point: a lot of them love alcohol. Now, I am not trying to judge or point my finger to anyone. This is only a personal thought and it shall be so. These few days, my friends invite me to join them to the club and get some drinks. It is quite costly, given my current financial status. I do not agree with the idea immediately but of course, I am open for opinions and discussions. Then, there is good friend of mine who kind of lecture me about all these stuffs. According to him, if my memory still serves me right, clubbing and alcohols are like a tool to be sociable as well as to get to know more people. It is the best way to get to know more people and get yourselves more friends who, in return, will benefit you in times to come. Well, I do agree with that idea as my brother and father are doing so too. Being sociable is sometimes very important for certain criteria of people. Then I ask him, don't you feel uncomfortable after drinking it? He says yes, of course. According to him, people don't really like to drink. They just drink for the sake of drinking it, cause it is alcohol. That's when confusion strikes me. Since it is not nice to be drank, why force yourself to do it just so to get more friends? And, since most of the people agree to the fact that beer or some alcoholic beverages are unfriendly to our tongue, why do the world recognise drinking as a social event? I am sure there are much better beverages to be chosen. When I think about this, I judge myself to be immature and stupid. Great poets and warriors of the past see drinking as a way to inspire them or to prove that they are the better man. But, it is still not nice to drink, right? Why drink it then? Drinking something which you don't like but treat it as an act of champion doesn't sound right. It resembles the human nature of committing sin when we know pretty well that it is wrong. Just like what the great Paul said, it is hard to do good things and so easy to do bad things. People are clear that alcohol doesn't taste good, bad for health and very very expensive but just for the sake of it, they drink and brag about it.
This is the part that I don't agree. If alcohol is the main tool of entertainment, then a person with that life should be very monotonous. I do hope that my failure to grasp the definition of this whole clubbing thing will not tag me as someone who is anti-social or weird. I just have my own way of thinking. I always do.
Let's see what is in stored for me at week 4.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Update
----Week 2 ----
Everything is getting serious now. I really have to sink the idea of being a degree student in my mind ASAP! The work load is pilling up and let me assure you, these works are not ordinary "homework". Degree. Degree is something different. In this level of education, mugging can only bring you thus far. It's important to study smart which, for now, I need to establish. I am sure I will be there, in time.
Everything is getting serious now. I really have to sink the idea of being a degree student in my mind ASAP! The work load is pilling up and let me assure you, these works are not ordinary "homework". Degree. Degree is something different. In this level of education, mugging can only bring you thus far. It's important to study smart which, for now, I need to establish. I am sure I will be there, in time.
Time lurks and creeps. I have spent three weeks here without me knowing it. Is time running too fast? Looking over my shoulders, I wonder what have I left behind. What I want for myself is to be someone successful. And now, here am I, staring up into the deep abyss of space and asking myself, am I on the right path? Nevertheless, I will find you, I promise. I will make the world believe that determination and perseverance will take anyone as far as they want.
My mum called me the other day. She asked me whether I missed home.
That was a good question. To say no to it was not true, yet to say yes would be discouraging myself to move ahead and live on with the life I have right now. I sometimes do wonder how did my parents manage to just leave home without looking back and fight on. This thought lead me to one statement which I made to my mum. I told her that it was quite good for someone to come from a broken family. Got what I mean? When your home is comfortable and cozy, you really don't feel like staying away from too long. But then I guess everyone has their own predicaments to overcome in order to achieve greatness.
My dear brothers, Daniel and Marcus, I miss them a lot. My big bro will be having an important exam 2 months from now. I do hope he will do well and will, of course, use his whole might to face it and excel in it. As for Marcus, I talked to him in the phone that day. His voice has changed. LOL. Hard to imagine that small kid growing up into a teenager. I do have many expectations for this kid but too bad I am now so far away from him. I pray that he will perform well in all his undertakings.
As for my friends back in my hometown, how are you guys? Everyone doing well? I do miss you guys a lot. Really. Right here in Curtin or you can Miri, most of the time I operate alone as things do go smoothly when I am alone. xD.
I will be having my semester break in the month of June.
See you guys.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A whole new world
Well, for your information, I just flew to another part of Malaysia and I am staying here.
LOL
I guess the idea of being a university student hasn't sunk into my mind yet. Still, I see myself as the boy from Nibong Tebal. Maybe it's good, maybe it's bad. I am still unsure of it. But I certainly won't want myself to forget my origin because that's who I am and that's what made me into the Lucas today.
When I first got here on the 18th of Febuary, I felt very empty. Vanity. At that time, I din't know what to expect or what to worry about. Despite the emptiness, I knew something was out there, waiting for me to grab it and turn it into mine.
I unpacked my things, did some cleaning and lied down to rest. It was nice that I got to know some rest who were staying at the same area as mine. Having friends on the first day was very useful in terms of companion. Though we came from very different background and places, I still tried my very best to fit in and I succeeded. But not long then only I realized that I was the only one who was different. All of them came from Johor Bahru, my mum's hometown, from the same education background. So, there were many terms that they used were very much unknown to me. That caused many barriers between us. But I was glad that I was able to handle my loneliness wisely. However different we might be, we still went out for lunch and dinner together. So, I could say that it's okay.
And so, the first day of the orientation was fine. Curtin campus was nice. It wasn't so big but wasn't small also. More towards greenery and nature, that's what I liked about it. Besides, there were many new building coming up. As a whole, I liked the university and what was in stored for me.
Now, about the people there. This was the first funny part that I got to know about myself. As I had mentioned above, I din't get fit it so well with the first group. Now, I met another kind of people. Now, this kind of people, they looked good, confident, a little bit arrogant and high-ended. At first sight, I din't quite like them due to their arrogant behavior. But then, I started to talk to them. I went for lunch with them and I found out that they were actually very nice people. And, to my surprise, I kinda like hanging around with them. Really funny and surprising. Cause for thus long, I thought I myself won't like to mix around with people like them but it turned out totally different from what I expected. Nice. At least I got to know something new about myself.
And so, the first day of the orientation was fine. Curtin campus was nice. It wasn't so big but wasn't small also. More towards greenery and nature, that's what I liked about it. Besides, there were many new building coming up. As a whole, I liked the university and what was in stored for me.
Now, about the people there. This was the first funny part that I got to know about myself. As I had mentioned above, I din't get fit it so well with the first group. Now, I met another kind of people. Now, this kind of people, they looked good, confident, a little bit arrogant and high-ended. At first sight, I din't quite like them due to their arrogant behavior. But then, I started to talk to them. I went for lunch with them and I found out that they were actually very nice people. And, to my surprise, I kinda like hanging around with them. Really funny and surprising. Cause for thus long, I thought I myself won't like to mix around with people like them but it turned out totally different from what I expected. Nice. At least I got to know something new about myself.
I guess I will stop here.
Stay tuned :)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Let's Do it!!!!
And so I've been very free for quite some time. Ever since I had settled down with the idea of which university to get in to, the whole burden that I had in my head was lifted up. But still, deep down inside I still knew that I was about to leave.
In the process of making tough decisions, I learnt a lot and changed a lot. There was a Chinese saying that sounded like this, "the new stuffs won't appear if the old ones weren't gone."
In the process of making tough decisions, I learnt a lot and changed a lot. There was a Chinese saying that sounded like this, "the new stuffs won't appear if the old ones weren't gone."
Such theories were easier to say than done. That's true for sure. Many adults or "early-matured" teenagers loved to use them when they were comforting or educating the younger ones. Nevertheless, now that I know it, I am sure that it would be better for one to personally undergo that kind of feeling to fully understand it. Sometimes life is just that way. If everyone can achieve greatness just by theoretical education, without practical use, then many people would be at home and home only.
For now, I am at the beginning of a race. A race of my life. To where, unknown. I ain't even sure whether I am doing the right thing. But I am sure that I will do my best. So many things await my presence and my effort. Some of them would be my achievement and some would be my lessons of life. I am not quite certain whether I am ready to do this. I don't know whether I will adapt to the new surroundings as quickly as possible. I don't know whether I will still be the old Lucas once I have finished everything. But then again, when will it be finished? When will this race be over? Who is the referee or judge that calls the end?
As I started to pack my things and waved a hand saying good bye to the people here, I come to realise that it's time to go. Those people around me, those so dear to me, they need their own arenas to expand also. At the end of the day, we all would be someone in our own unique way. I asked my friends before, "Do you wish to be someone of great power or success that your name would be known worldwide ?" They din't answer it. But I knew that we all would be someone in our own way. We would be so different in so many ways. Then, it would be our duties and responsibilities to salvage a mutual point amid the vast difference in order to continue on what we had started. If not, all would be lost unknowingly and indirectly. But no matter what it is or will be, life still goes on. As I had said to my friend, we will all die and decay eventually. So let's see how we utilise our remaining time. It does sound a little despair but that's the truth I guess.
My time here is dying out and out there at Miri, it's growing up. I have to be ready. I just have to! Inspired by Jeremy Lin, a NBA player from Taiwan, I hope to rely and count on another source of strength.
Let's Do it!!!!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Dragon Year
春风吹到你的家
健康快乐带来啦
小朋友呀都听话
学业成绩顶呱呱
情侣今年结婚啦
快快生个胖娃娃
这个世界有多大
最重要过的开心啦
给你一个红包说好话开心笑哈哈
换上新衣戴新帽新鞋和新袜
时间滴答答带着梦想慢慢发芽
举起手唱啦啦啦啦
没烦忧来开心过年
生活里有苦辣酸甜
人总要学会快乐一点
举起手唱啦啦啦啦
向前走来开心过年
祝福你天天是好天
走过了从前才懂得珍惜每一天
This year, I will be in charged of creating a dance out of this song.
Kinda hard as this is the first time and for those who know me, they should know that i don't dance. hahaha... but I am glad I took on this task because I did tell myself before taking a step into 2012 that I wanna have a new personality. This is also to prepare myself to enter U.
So... GAMBATEH!!!!!!!!
Kinda hard as this is the first time and for those who know me, they should know that i don't dance. hahaha... but I am glad I took on this task because I did tell myself before taking a step into 2012 that I wanna have a new personality. This is also to prepare myself to enter U.
So... GAMBATEH!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Update
Yeap. It's been quite a while since I updated this blog of mine. Maybe it's because nothing really did inspire me to leave something here. Not even the coming of 2012. That, itself, shocked me.
For the past few weeks, I kept wondering the path ahead of me.
I had finished my foundation with a good result, good enough for me to enroll in several profound universities. Nevertheless, obtaining the result did not ease my thoughts. In fact, it worsened it. Since I had my result, I kept asking myself, where to?
This simple yet troubling question was tough for me to handle, despite all the helps given to me. Before facing this problem, I had another also. What to study?
After some deep thinking, I finally made up my mind. The funny thing about making up your mind was that, you kept questioning whether it was the best solution or decision. It happened to me. Fear I was to fathom the consequences of opting the wrong choice which, in the end, will cause me to suffer for 4 years. As things and issues around me were getting more and more real and close to the reality of life, I started to think more and at the same time, fear more. I wondered, so this called growing up eh?? It seemed like I really have much more to learn.
And so, time passed like a shooting arrow.
My birthday was perfect, thanks to my great friends. For this year, only a few people said happy birthday to me. Then only I knew, people just post "happy birthday" on your wall for nothing. Those who really remembered your birthday wouldn't require any reminders to wish you. Social networks really aggravated the whole thing. Sigh..
As I said, time is flying. My time here, at home, in my comfort zone, is on its countdown. I am filled with enthusiam and anticipation. I can't wait to discover what is in stored for me. However, my jubilance is short-lived. Having wanted to get out of my comfort zone is also equivalent to leaving my parents and friends. Often am I struck with ambivalence. Starting a whole new life seems like a great idea but to do that at the expanse of my relationship with my friends and family, that's heartbreaking.
For those who have left home for quite a period and are used to such mixed feelings, I could really use some help here.
My mum used to say to me that in order to achieve something great or better, it is necessary to sacrifice something as life is not always so perfect and fair.
Right now, I have many hopes in me. Hoping for this to happen and hoping for that to stay. Yet, in my little mind, I know pretty well that both are hard to come together. At the end, somehow, I have to make my decision and live by it.
For those who remembered my birthday, you have my utmost gratitude. It shows that you are a true friend and I shall treat you as such.
Good day.
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