Once again I am here, facing my laptop with an inexplicable feeling. For now, it should be happiness and not what I am feeling currently. Yet, I fail to fathom the operation of my emotions.
The hasty pace of my current life robs the opportunity from me to stop and ponder. And right now, my only option left is to run with it and never look back cause if I look back, I might miss a step ahead. The more I have the anxiety to stop and contemplate, the faster time is slipping out of my grasp.
Recently, my study group with Gabriel just got a little bigger. The new members are nice people and their presence do add a little fun to the atmosphere. Everyone seems to be on their 5th gear, driving through all obstacles in a nick of time, smoothly and steadily. Amid the whole tensed up condition, someone would have been left behind. And who might that be?
This time, I am afraid I have to admit that I am the one. I am the One. This statement usually sounds cool and powerful but for now, it portrays an image of failure. The reason behind such negativity is, again, due to time. Time is running out, like it always do. The finals are approaching. Yet, I have no confidence of possessing any offensive strategy. History repeats itself. A sudden laziness invades my mental fortress. The composition of the invasion consists of a variety of feelings. For instance, the urge to return home as soon as possible, easily satisfied and most ultimately, laziness. The summation of these three major problems would cause me my first semester, that I am sure. I once said on facebook that a quality and meaningful respite is needed. On the contrary, I think I should reduce my resting time and quickly get down on it.
Why do I lack motivation? Why have I lost the willpower to strike and aim further and higher?
Oh please.. give me my strength.. or watch me live out the consequences...
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