I will be back...

From Friday to Tuesday, my parents, together with my grandmother, will be in Guang Dong, China.. Due to some reasons, my elder brother, younger brother and I won't be going.. In other words, we would be alone in Nibong Tebal for 5 days... totally alone...

However, now that my brother is 18 years old, I no longer feel like we are some sorts of danger all by ourself. Life's still normal without my parents but that doens't mean that i don't need them, it's just that I feel independent. That's a part of growing in life.

Since the exam is over, I have some free times to do my own things. What should I do? Everytime I go online there's no one to talk to, even if there is, they are always away or busy... =.=.. Life's indeed normal and better away from my class but however, it's quiet.. Somehow, I like it !! ^^

As I grow bigger, I am no longer as noisy as I was when I was young... talking everyday, asking everyday... Haha.. Now, I just like to do my own things especially reading.. wow.. I love reading.. haha.. But again, that doesn't mean that I hate talking to people.. Oh yes I like to talk to my families and friends that I care for..

Home is nice.. Home together with friends is also nice... Hope that I won't have to go back to school again.. But I have to face the reality.. The reality is that Methodist wants to smack us to the maximum in the debate competition.. This is one thing that I cannot allow it to happen with me around.. This is one of the reality. I have to go to school to take back my pride and dignity, afterall, I am the brother of the best speaker in SPS in the year 2008. I won't let them to smear my school's name.. Little the chance that I have to win, I will fight to the end and lose with pride. Oh yes I will.. Besides, my school's ping pong team needs me. haha.. Although I ain't that good but I am one of the best in my school. The competition is just around the corner... I will get some medals back. Yes I will... Another thing, next week is the bola baling competition... This is the first year I am taking part in this sport and I am in the school team.. Cool... They need me too.. Most importantly, my dear friends need me too. Some of my friends need me to watch their back, some of them need me as their company, some of them need me to teach them to ponteng once in a while... =.=

I cannot just lay my ass at home doing nothing... I don't care how lame my class is, how cold are some people to me, how foolish are those teachers, how reluctant I am to wake up in the morning, I will be there... And if anyone who reads this is in the same school with me, if you need my help, I will oblige myself to help...

Welcome to the reality world, Lucas...

How's life?

One day, a friend of mine asked me a simple question: “ Lucas, how’s life?”
The purpose of asking this question is to start a conversation in a friendly way.. However, “how’s life”, these two words really caused me to meditate.. So serious.. .
How’s life?... How’s life?...
In this situation, life here means to me the life in school. This is the main reason why I am cracking my head to figure this simple question. Life in school is like a living hell for me.. I don’t feel nice in my class… At the early stage, I was happy because everyone will talk to me whenever I talk to them.. Great!!! But sometimes, you have to think the other way… They will talk to you when you talk to them, what if, you don’t talk to them? Will they talk to you? Well, this is the question as well as problem I am facing without me knowing it ( until tonight only I realize )…
I remembered telling my brother how great were the weeks of my life in school. It was really great, as I was the only one doing all the talking… =.=…After a one-week school holiday, I return back to school. And this time, wow…Suddenly, I find out that actually no one talks to me… great… how funny to say that.. be more optimistic, Lucas!!! I heard myself telling me.. yet, the problem still exists..
It so happen that my mood is on the passive side, hoping for an active one to come near me and have a lovely conversation together. But this “active” one didn’t appear for the whole day… Yet, I have all my time spent with my nice Chinese novel…. That’s the day for me.. Reading, thinking, imagining and laughing al to myself with no one to share with. All in a sudden I feel so lonely and quiet… I take a look at the class, well, they are still there.. They still exist in this class.. But, they aren’t caring much about my existence more I care about theirs…
Well, whatever.. I continued with my reading and that became the alpha and omega of my day in school- READING….
So, how’s life?? Can I get a satisfying answer? Can I find a satisfying answer? Or worst, will this continue on? Will I be able to find a solution for this matter?
Somehow, deep inside me, I don’t give a damn about these sorts of things but I don’t know why this particular day gives me so many thinking homework.. Is there a problem lurking nearby? I hope there isn’t….
So, how’s life???

U.P... ( Ujian Pretasi )

U.P.. This is a kind of test in my school ( in other schools i believe there are examinations like this also )...

U.P.. This is a kind of sign that teachers can't teach and educate students well...
Ujian Prestasi.. wow.. sounds so good.. so challenging... so effective.. And yet, it doesn't has any value in it... Maybe you don't understand such saying, well, let me give you an example.. This particular examination covers all subjects like Add Math, B.M, B.I, Bio, Physics, Chem and all sorts. As everyone knows, except for the teachers I think, form 4 syllabus is quite tough and it's the basic of form 5, without it, you would fail in you SPM. How important it is and yet, in our U.P, for example Add Math, we are tested only on 13 questions... 13 questions = 90 marks... marvelous!!
And what about the other 10 marks? It's from our exercise books. In other words, if you pass up, you will get 10 marks, for FREE ; and if you didn't pass up, well, the maximum marks for you would be just 90....

According to the professor of lameology, such situation can be best described as LAME.... =.=...

I am here writting this blog and tommorrow is my U.P examination. Seriously, I think it is a waste of effort, from teachers and students, money, from the school authorities and time, from teachers as well as students..

In the real SPM, you would be tested on many questions.. thus, that's a piece of quality paper.. as for this shit U.P, 13 questions and you r valued by that number of questions.. maybe some students can do very well but they din hand in their exercise books, maybe they forgot about it, plus, they did a little careless mistakes during the exam and they end up getting 70+ or 70-.. How sad... How are they going to explain to their parents.. Unfortunately, nowadays parents believe so much in the school that they think their child didn't do any revisions... Sigh... poor thing..

I think seriously that the school authorities, especially teachers who think that they are very experience, are responsible for such phenomena.. If they really care for their students, they should as well work hard instead of chit chatting and keep their tummies fat and round to have a better exam for the students. Better exams can be defined as exams which have quality ( many questions , SPM fomat ) and the marks are from the papers and not from the exercise books..

How I hope teachers would listen to some suggestions.. I am sick of preparing for this U.P.. lame.. What's worst, this lame U.P is after a one-week-holiday!!!! OH MY!! It really drives me up the wall and slams me on the wall.. Lame...

Professor of lameology is exactly right.. LAME..

Vapour.....

I was sad... I was depressed deep down inside... What's wrong ? Anything happened between the two of us?? Well, I think i better give her some time to figure it out.. maybe she would fix things out by herself, afterall, she is a smart girl... That's what I thought for 3 weeks.. Somehow, no results were shown to me... So, I continue such feeling in me...

Finally!!! The day arrived!! Wow!! I had plenty of free time to do some chit chatting... The person who showed up in my mind was she... She... Funny... How come I was still thinking about her? Really funny... Anyway, I din't care how funny it was and I straight went to find her with difficulties...

I found her, asked her if she was willing to have a little talk... And, everything was kinda like fast forwarded until I was sitting in the class with her and we were starting to talk... At first I started in a bad mood ( as I have kept such feeling in me for 3 weeks and I can't wait to let it out ). Of course, I regreted that almost immediately.

After a long discussion, I found out that it turned out to be me who was the wrong guy.. Wow... Amazing.. Awesome... It was me.. haha.. What can I say.. However, what I know is that my care and love were not appreciated... They were taken as a burden, as a pressure that I caused to her.. I don't know... It seemed like I screwed up everything..

After typing this blog, I realised that this friendship between the both of us.. I think, I ain't sure, has turned into vapour which will not condense into water and reappear into my life.. Even though it will, I find it hard to accept someone who don't appreciate my care...

So that's it... vapour... a vapour of history... a vapour of yesterday...