Not Pro Enough

If you do follow my blog often, you might realize that I have changed my title (Not Pro Enough)..
It might sound funny for some people who are older than me. Nevertheless, I feel that I am inadequate. I lack something, or maybe many things. This flaw in me has stopped me from becoming someone greater than what I am now, I might say someone that I am supposed to be.
Pretty messed up in my mind now...
Yet I just have this feeling and urge to continue on this post..
Cause there's no one for me to confide in...
I know, I crave, I want to be a successful person in whatever I do, though knowing pretty well that it's rather impossible for someone to be perfect in all ways.
When I was young, I often had a kind of feeling where some part of me wished to just jump out. Just jump out. You get the meaning? Whatever that I was doing then, some part of me just felt like jumping out and do better.
At the first stage, I literally ignored it. But now, as I am getting bigger, more exposure here in Penang, I seriously feel it in me. It's like a sound or some invisible force pushing every part of my body to go forward, to achieve something, to be someone great.
And, whenever I failed to do so, I blamed myself a lot.
That's why I feel that I am not good enough, yet. In whatever I do, I am not good enough. I am supposed to be better.. better...


I will be better..