After this week, i will be back in Miri, away from Nibong Tebal.
A month had passed. But this time, it did not pass without a trace. Yes. It did leave behind many traces. Traces such as these were always left behind one's journey of life. Some even said that in order to achieve greatness, it's necessary not to hold on too tight on them. But, I treated these traces, or to say memories, as a power and driving force both to motivate and empower myself in my journey to be a better person. In my point of opinion, those memories were not stationary. They were not just left behind for the sake of being but memories. If they were taken as such, then I must say that their definition and purpose had been diminished. They were never stationary. They moved on. Though taken as past events, they actually lived with us throughout our current life. They gave us power. They made us who we are today and maybe, tomorrow. To forget and neglect the pass would be one's greatest mistake.
For me, I planned to hold on to them as firmly as I could. In a nick of time, I would be flying away from my origin. Many asked me how do I feel? It's a rather difficult answer to give spontaneously. But after putting in some thoughts, I landed myself on an answer. My answer for the question was, I am filled with anticipation.
Why did I say that?
It sounded as if I couldn't wait to leave home. It sounded rebellious.
No. They weren't anticipations supported by devilish thoughts. They were anticipation embedded with hope and bravery.
My family, friends and the church were the only things that made my one month in NT meaningful and fruitful. To say that I couldn't wait to leave all these behind would be foolish and idiotic. No doubt that I couldn't actually face the fact and practicality of my coming departure. I couldn't find the guts to believe that my semester break had ended in just a snap. Yet, I knew pretty well that the time had come for each and everyone of us to make our own decision, not at the expense of our ties and relationship that we built up so hardly over the years, in order to grow stronger and better. Nevertheless, I would firmly stress upon one thing. If the cost incurred in the decision that we made was too costly, then I would say that the decision might be wrong.
My mum was right, again.It's time for us, be it friends or brothers, to each create our own arenas. It's time we owned or be owned. Either way, we still learn.
With such thought in my mind, I actually felt more peaceful and was able to accept the fact that I was about to leave.
The same question presented itself in my head. What is in stored for me after this week?
