Yeap. It's been quite a while since I updated this blog of mine. Maybe it's because nothing really did inspire me to leave something here. Not even the coming of 2012. That, itself, shocked me.
For the past few weeks, I kept wondering the path ahead of me.
I had finished my foundation with a good result, good enough for me to enroll in several profound universities. Nevertheless, obtaining the result did not ease my thoughts. In fact, it worsened it. Since I had my result, I kept asking myself, where to?
This simple yet troubling question was tough for me to handle, despite all the helps given to me. Before facing this problem, I had another also. What to study?
After some deep thinking, I finally made up my mind. The funny thing about making up your mind was that, you kept questioning whether it was the best solution or decision. It happened to me. Fear I was to fathom the consequences of opting the wrong choice which, in the end, will cause me to suffer for 4 years. As things and issues around me were getting more and more real and close to the reality of life, I started to think more and at the same time, fear more. I wondered, so this called growing up eh?? It seemed like I really have much more to learn.
And so, time passed like a shooting arrow.
My birthday was perfect, thanks to my great friends. For this year, only a few people said happy birthday to me. Then only I knew, people just post "happy birthday" on your wall for nothing. Those who really remembered your birthday wouldn't require any reminders to wish you. Social networks really aggravated the whole thing. Sigh..
As I said, time is flying. My time here, at home, in my comfort zone, is on its countdown. I am filled with enthusiam and anticipation. I can't wait to discover what is in stored for me. However, my jubilance is short-lived. Having wanted to get out of my comfort zone is also equivalent to leaving my parents and friends. Often am I struck with ambivalence. Starting a whole new life seems like a great idea but to do that at the expanse of my relationship with my friends and family, that's heartbreaking.
For those who have left home for quite a period and are used to such mixed feelings, I could really use some help here.
My mum used to say to me that in order to achieve something great or better, it is necessary to sacrifice something as life is not always so perfect and fair.
Right now, I have many hopes in me. Hoping for this to happen and hoping for that to stay. Yet, in my little mind, I know pretty well that both are hard to come together. At the end, somehow, I have to make my decision and live by it.
For those who remembered my birthday, you have my utmost gratitude. It shows that you are a true friend and I shall treat you as such.
Good day.
